Ok, every woman who goes gray has those ”moments.” One (very young-looking) woman told me a bus actually lowered the steps for her, mistaking her silvery hair as a sign that she was too feeble to climb aboard. I laughed. Until it happened to me! I laughed, until a young girl offered me her seat on the bus. I laughed until the day the supermarket automatically gave me a “senior discount.” But there are other moments, too. Times when we feel great about gray. Tell us some of your best and worst moments.
Posted by on 12/12 at 08:00 AM
After reading the super article by Shira Levy, I too, decided to go “natural”. I am so proud of her creativity, strength & originality in all things..you see, I am her mother & I give you “thumbs up” for publishing her pictures, & great words of wisdom. Thank you. Ilana gewirtz
Posted by on 12/13 at 10:45 AM
Thanks, Ilana. I think every “great gray” deserves a big thumbs up! D.
Posted by on 12/17 at 03:19 PM
OK, Diana, here’s the reverse story. I went to the movies a while ago with a woman who’s gray, and younger than I. When we asked for senior tickets (to which we’re entitled), they asked ME for ID! Told me that they didn’t care what color my hair was, I looked too young for a senior discount. The ticket seller was a twenty-something who obviously didn’t equate gray with old. Love her!
Posted by on 12/20 at 02:49 PM
Hey, dwntwnfem—Yay! One for our side!! Just shows ya, it happens both ways. D.
Posted by on 12/21 at 11:41 AM
I just finished reading your book, Diana, and what a joy. I’ve colored my hair for years, but made the freeing decision to go gray (actually silver). After just a few months, I’m almost totally there (thanks to a very short haircut. What a great liberation - now I can better use my time doing things I love up here on our little ranch in the mountains above Albuquerque. So nice to have “virgin” hair again - it is soooo soft! Hooray for us!! Thank you for your valuable insights and good research. Happy New Year to you and your family!
Blessings,
Chris
Posted by on 12/28 at 02:46 PM
How nice to hear that, Chris—thanks! And YAY for you! I’m hearing from women who are afraid of this process and your words are great encouragement. It DOES only take a few months, really. And look what we get for it—softer, healthier, “virgin” hair. I think the “I’m worth it” quote that a certain hair coloring company uses applies to us! D.
Posted by on 12/28 at 07:34 PM
I just found this web site and I love it!!! There are so many places for gray women to go. I’m 19 and am prematurely gray. It is unbelieveably empowering and I love who I am becoming. My question is how many late teens/twentysomethings are going/went gray?
Kendall
Posted by on 12/29 at 11:27 PM
Hey Kendall—Thanks for pointing out it’s not just a “boomer” thing. Far from it. While I’ve never found statistics for the number of late teens/early 20’s who have gone gray, over 15% of the women I interviewed for the book experienced early graying. That’s quite a number! I don’t know if you can project that to the total population, but it’s a micro of randomly selected women, and gives you an idea. A few stories: Jo Anne’s teacher found her first gray hair in fifth grade, and by the time she was 16, people were telling her how cool it was. Chris developed a solid white streak at the age of 10 (but that’s a different thing—vitiligo.) Amy started graying in college. Pat went totally gray in her early 20’s. And most of my focus group women spotted their first gray hair in their late 20’s. You should “meet” these gals in the book, because most of them, like you, thought it was a very individualistic thing, and went with it. I’m glad you love yours, and the site! Thanks, D.
Posted by on 12/30 at 09:09 AM
Diana, thanks so much for this site. If you don’t mind me asking a few other questions. I saw the gallery and saw the picture of Ashley(I believe). How old was she in that pic? Also, I saw the pictures of Shira and read her story. How old is she in those last two pics? By the way, that one pic of her with the short curly hair, that is almost my hair exactly!! LOL, I got shivers when I saw that pic. When you mention JoAnne, at 16, what percentage of her hair was gray? The longer that I have this gray, the more I like it. Once again, thanks for the site!
Kendall
Posted by on 12/30 at 01:28 PM
Hi Kendall—I can answer some of your questions. The picture of Ashley was taken in November of this year, and she was 29. Friends report she started to go gray 3-4 years prior to that, and it accelerated pretty quickly. Now, JoAnne tells me her gray was “noticeable” at 16, and she had a pretty good-size streak when she graduated from high school (her hair was long). She said the whole effect looked silver and quite sparkly. I’m going to have to get in touch with Shira to find out her age in the last two pics. If your hair looks like hers—that’s terrific! Chazz IS the girl on our cover—and while I’ll get in touch with her, too, in the meantime you should know that her famous quote was—“White was my 40th birthday gift to myself!” But she had been dying her hair all sorts of colors before that—so she never really knew what was going on “underneath.” She also said she started to gray at 18. I agree—her hair is gorgeous! And she doesn’t do a thing to it. Lucky lady. D.
Posted by on 12/30 at 02:58 PM
Well, let me tell ya’ll my story. I am 19 and a sophomore in college. I really noticed my gray for the first time earlier this year, although I have since had other people tell me that they could see gray in my hair when I was 16. Premature gray does run in my family, on both sides no doubt. My mom has been coloring her hair for years, while my dad did for a while, but he finally let it go. I have a 23 year old sister who also has some gray, but she colors her hair also. Well, my hair has gone gray very quickly. In the matter of about 7 months or so, my hair has gone from somewhat gray to practically all gray. My former color was a light brunette. I see very little, if any brown left. I normally wear my hair fairly short and its very curly. I moved to California in the summer and hadn’t gotten a cut in a while. When I went to visit my parents over Thanksgiving, my mom took me to her salon and I got my hair cut back to the length I like it. The lady who cut my hair said she could see some white at the roots. I couldn’t imagine that it’ll be too much longer(a few years or longer?) that I’ll be more white than gray. This process has really empowered me to do things I never would’ve done before. I’m a Psychology major in college and I’m big on empowerment. Diana, you’d know this. What percentage in your opinion of those who went gray in a relatively quick period of time(months, instead of years). In Ashley’s pic, I could see a little blond or light brown. I’d be curious to know if something traumatic happened to cause her to gray when she did or if it just went. I’m so glad of this site and I have told other people about it. Thanks again!
Posted by on 12/30 at 06:39 PM
Hi, I’m responding to Kendall who asked - “I saw the pictures of Shira and read her story. How old is she in those last two pics?”
I was in my mid 30’s when my dark brown hair slowly but surely started to include gray, and that’s when I began coloring ... after almost 10 years I decided to start fresh and was 44 when I shaved my head and it’s been 2 years. The last 2 pictures posted were a few months ago.
I still get loads of amazing comments on my hair, and most of the time I love it, especially the freedom and honesty it represents. Every now & again I fantasize about coloring it, and maybe some day I will again, but it has been a wonderful experience and I am proud to have inspired a number of people in my life to go natural, both men & women, and that feels really good.
Posted by on 12/31 at 06:16 AM
Shira, let me say that I am envious of your hair, especially in the last couple of pics. I think the pic of you in the short, curly gray hair is probably the best. Call me biased, but thats almost how my hair looks now, except, its not as white, but definitely gray. I hope you don’t color it! Please stay the way you are. Since I found this site and became a member, I have felt more empowered. I’m a 19 year old college sophomore and with everything going on in the world, its very refreshing to find positive female role models. I can only imagine how empowered and strong you must feel. Not too long ago, I thought about dyeing my hair, in part because I was feeling “different” with seeing blondes and brunettes around campus. But you know what? Being gray is unique and I’m unique and I like who I am. Shira, how long is your hair now? If you don’t mind the compliment, I think the shorter cut fits you well. From what I read, you sound like a strong, powerful, confident woman. That’s who I hoe to become. Thanks for your pics and your story!! 
Kendall
Posted by on 12/31 at 07:59 AM
Thank you Kendall, I appreciate and treasure your feedback and compliments. You are very sweet.
In my opinion you are already quite a strong & powerful woman yourself, being 19 and deciding that different is OK. The truth is that people will remember you because of your unique hair color (besides other great features you probably have) and that may prove to be a great ‘secret weapon’ in your life...being unique is quite fun, and the gray, white, silver or salt-n-pepper hair color at any age less than ‘senior age’ inspires all kinds of comments, compliments and conversation.
I trimmed my hair since the last photo, it is now to the neck and about the same length all around. I can wear it curly or slicked back and I am happy with this style for now. Perhaps in the future I will go back to short.
I believe part of my success is staying in good shape, wearing bold colors like red, purple, royal blue, black and clothes that compliment my figure and my hair color, wearing red lipstick, having a suntan (I live in S. Florida) and having an amazingly supportive and open husband and family who make me feel beautiful every day. I wish you the same.
Happy New Year!
With blessings,
Shira
P.S. I’d love to see a photo of you…
Posted by on 12/31 at 12:48 PM
Shira, thanks so much for your kind words. You’re too sweet! As soon as I get a pic, I will definitely post it on here. Hope you and everyone else had a great New Years!
Kendall
Posted by on 01/01 at 06:26 PM
Shira, I meant to ask this question earlier. How much of your hair was gray before you shaved your head. Was it all gray after you shaved it? I believe you said in your story that you had been coloring your hair for a long time? In your opinion, how old were you when you started turning gray? I think that is so neat that your hair came in gray/white. I compare it to the butterfly coming out of the cocoon.
Kendall
Posted by on 01/01 at 06:29 PM
Kendall—I have to give you an assignment. (Yeah, just what you need now that school is probably starting again.) But go back to Gray Today, and read Gray Hair Biology 101. You’ll see that hair doesn’t come in gray. Strange as it sounds, there’s no such thing as a “gray” hair. When hair loses its pigment, it’s actually colorless! Oh, it appears white (devoid of all color) on a nice black sweater. But this “white” hair actually makes your pigmented hairs look gray because it’s like mixing sugar with pepper (or sand.) That’s why there’s an infinite variety of “gray” tones, depending on what your natural--pigmented—hair color is. The overall impression is gray. When there’s a lot of them in any one place on your head, you get nice, white “streaks.” The fewer pigmented hairs you have, the whiter your hair gets all over. But here’s what I want you to do. Pluck out a white hair and put it on a black piece of cloth. Pluck out a “gray” hair (or one that looks gray on your head) and put it on a white napkin. You’ll see it isn’t gray, after all. It has pigment. On your head, it looks gray because it’s surrounded by “sugar” hairs—the white ones. A little experiment. BTW—I’m not advising all our Members to start plucking out their hairs. Kendall is 19! She’s got a lot more where those came from! And, remember, we all turn into butterflies at our own rate. D.
Posted by on 01/02 at 09:45 AM
LOL, darn it Diana! I still have almost 3 weeks til my semester starts. Yes, I’ll go and read that.
Kendall
Posted by on 01/02 at 10:14 AM
Well, let’s see. I found my first gray hairs at about eighteen/nineteen yrs old. But it was a slow process, with just a few more each time I looked. Around my face first. It seemed like nothing would happen, and then one day, I’d look, and there’d be a lot more gray. And one day in my late forties, I looked at my hair, and it was GRAY! Just plain gray. No longer “going gray”. GRAY. It’s gone through dull spells since, and I’ve still got some darker gray in the back, but if you look at my photo (that’s me at the photography exhibition), you can tell that it’s mostly gray/white now—so I wear black, gray (light black!), white, and khaki or camel (sort of dirty white). Once in a while I shock people and wear bright red. Less makeup, but more dramatic eyes and mouth. Works for me. Have never colored it, nor wanted to. Makes me happy.
Posted by on 01/20 at 04:52 PM
dwntwnfem, how old are ya now? Did u just add your pic or has it always been there? Honestly, you should wear whatever you want to. Just because a person has a certain hair color doesn’t mean they have to start dressing “old”. If you saw some of the stuff I wear, you might be surprised, haha. Either way, I think if a woman looks good and feels good about herself, then she should wear something sexy if she wants to. Just my opinion.
Posted by on 01/20 at 07:40 PM
Kendall—I’m sixty-seven. Most definitely do NOT dress “old”. I’ve always worn what I wanted, and still do. Black, because it suits me. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t red lace underneath. NEVER underestimate gray hair!
Posted by on 01/20 at 08:22 PM
Kendall—I think you’re looking at gray hair through the eyes of a 19-year-old. Natch, cuz you are! But you keep using the word “old!” I think you’ll find most of us, no matter what our age, don’t equate gray with old. That’s a different generation—our mother’s or our grandmother’s. The smart thinking is to just equate it with a COLOR. Because that’s all it is! D.
Posted by on 01/21 at 03:02 PM
Old is, as old does. I know 19 y/o who are older than I am. Couldn’t agree with Diana more!
Posted by on 01/21 at 03:07 PM
Hey y’all - I have a cosmetic question: to mascara or not to mascara? I’ve read differing opinions about coloring the lower lashes. Yes or no? I’ve been thoroughly enjoying my journey to totally gray/silver hair and exploring new make-up tips to enhance what I’ve got! I’m having way too much fun. BTW: Diana, I really appreciate the brand suggestions you make in your book. The few I’ve used I really like alot. So glad to have a “manual” to help me on my way down this road.
Blessings from the southwest - Chris
Posted by on 01/21 at 05:40 PM
Hey Chris—Welcome back! How are things in Albuquerque? I’m glad you’re having fun with this. And I’m really glad you like the specific product info in the book. I’m going to “name names” on this site, too. I’ve already started with Hair under “Products You Should Know About” (see Home Page.) Skincare and makeup will be next. Stay tuned. In the meantime, to your mascara question. I say definitely YES above, NO below. Mascara on the lower lashes never looks natural (somehow, we get away with it on the upper lashes), and it can often look messy. If you want definition there—and sometimes we do need it to sort of balance the overall look of the eye—use an eyeliner pencil or eyeshadow. (See the trick under “Makeup Tip of the Moment.") I also wouldn’t use black for day. That’s drama—and that’s party time. A nice navy or a deep plum works, depending on the color of your eyes. The idea is to keep it soft, no hard lines. No messy mascara. Just soft definition. Hope this helps. Let me know how you like the effect, D.
Posted by on 01/21 at 09:29 PM
By the way, I didn’t mean to offend with the “old” remark. I wasn’t trying to put anyone down. My apologies to anyone that I have offended.
Posted by on 01/22 at 08:31 AM
Hey Kendall—I can positively assure you, no offense taken! I think we have a lot of confident women blogging into this site. Some may not know quite what to do about the graying of their hair—but it takes a confident woman to seek out the best advice she can get! Others do know exactly what they’re doing, and want to share with others. So no one takes offense when others try to help. I think you’re one of these confident women, too—and enthusiastic about posting. I just want you to know—as you, of all people should—it isn’t an “age” issue! D.
Posted by on 01/22 at 09:46 AM
Okay good! I always worry that sometimes I’m too blunt and make someone mad.
Posted by on 01/22 at 10:10 AM
Saving the best for last....so...:
The worst of gray?
* friends saying I’ll learn to like it because I (with allergies) have no choice
* at least I don’t have that ugly yellow gray
* people telling me I am brave (in their mind - crazy)
* preconceived notions that gray equals old
* preconceived notions that in my grow-out phase I am ‘letting myself go’
The BEST?
* saving tons of time and bucks on salon visits to color
* spending my savings on facials, manicures, supporting important causes, people I love and things I enjoy (not necessarily in that order:-)
* skipping the anxiety of making sure my root touch-ups coincided with important events
* having hair that says - please enough with the conditioner and products already - less is more!
* having the skeptics start to say - wow its really growing in nice
* getting compliments now from men I know who never said a thing before but now are fascinated by the gray and very supportive - one said whoever talked me into it was a genius
* having women I hardly know tell me they have been ‘watching me’, get it now and think it rocks
* having a 20 year old girl in the mall seriously ask me how to get the color tones I have (mind you I still got some tabby cat going on:-)
* my husband loves me and thinks I am as beautiful as ever even after being married almost 32 years
Ups and down .....oh yes....when another driver gets angry with me on the road...once they pass I can get away with ....well figures she’s an old gray haired lady:-)
Posted by on 01/22 at 06:32 PM
I’m on the floor laughing! This really sums it all up. Man, haven’t we all gotten those comments, reactions, and, finally, rewarding (in more ways than one) benefits. Thanks, Morningstar! D.
Posted by on 01/22 at 07:49 PM
One of the best things about being gray, premature or not.......people are now taking us more seriously than ever before. I call that “gray power”!
Kendall
Posted by on 01/23 at 07:46 PM
I have a funny gray story that actually happened to me today. On Tuesday/Thursday, I have a Physical Fitness class which emphasizes walking & running. We were out on the track and this girl came up to me from behind and told me that I looked good for my age. When I asked her how old she thought I was, she told me that I looked to be in my late 30’s. She was a bit shocked when I told her that I was 19, getting ready to turn 20. Then came one of the funniest things I ever heard. She asked if that was my real hair. I told her that it wasn’t, that two guys came up behind me and dipped my head in gray/white paint. She’s actually a sweet girl and after I apologized for being a bit of a smartaleck, we started talking. She’s a brunette, but sometimes I wonder if the ceiling was low when her daddy bounced her on his knee. You have to have a good sense of humor when it comes to things like what happened to me today. Kendall
Posted by on 02/07 at 05:58 PM
I have a funny story from the weekend...I was on line in the supermarket and the woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder and asked me why I would color my hair gray when I looked so young...I took it as a complement, that she thought it was a color from a box, but I thought it a weird question...she is 60, and didn’t understand me because she felt she looked too old without dying her hair and couldn’t imagine going natural...anyway, funny encounters all the time...on the same day I had 2 guys call out from their van in the parking lot “hey, you’ve got beautiful hair!” - I never had that happen when I had my real color, maybe whistles and comments, but never about my hair...it was very cool and I appreciated it…
Shira
Posted by on 02/07 at 06:15 PM
Wow! Those are both good stories. And I have a third funny story to add. Today, when I went for my “silverizing” appointment (more on that to come!), three women at the salon complimented my snowy crop. One was transitioning and having lowlights put in. One was having her hair dyed (and admitted she’d been thinking about letting the gray come in). And one (who looked like she darkened her hair) told me she thought my non-color was great. When I think about it—NOBODY at a salon ever complimented my color when I was a blonde! So it’s been a good day for all us grays! Yay! 
D.
Posted by on 02/07 at 08:05 PM
I recently had a BAD gray day- I had long (middle of my back) dyed hair, I let the gray grow to my jawline & took my shears & whacked the rest off. OK, it needed a few layers to give it some movement & the bottom evened out but no prob, I would get that done & then my hair would be great!
I had not been to a salon in a long while but I went to one that a lady at my grocery store went to & her hair was good. When I got there the stylist kept asking me why I wouldn’t put some color in my hair (I should have known then to get out)any way she is cutting the back I can’t see it so I think it’s all right & the BLAMO she reached around grabbed some hair in front & cut off 3 1/2” of hair!!!!! I yelled but it was too late- I ended up with a suburban middle-age lady cut & a determination to NEVER go to a salon again. The worst part is as I was leaving the stylist said “Why are you upset? Now you have a style that goes with your color”
Willa
Posted by on 02/11 at 09:46 PM
ARGGGGGGGHH!! That last line really kills me. Sounds like she did it just to demonstrate what she thinks of gray hair. I sincerely hope you didn’t pay for this, told the salon owner what you thought of the stylist’s comment, and marched out. (Please don’t tell me she WAS the salon owner!) 
Posted by on 02/12 at 02:34 AM
Oh Willa, I just read this post.
I am so sorry for the meanies out there! Would you think of going to a different salon to get something edgy going on? I bet it can be done and wouldn’t take much from a real professional (and this operator was definitely NOT professional!)
Posted by on 02/12 at 06:25 PM
Hi Diana & Morningstar-
Thanks for the support.
Hair is a renewable resource, thank goodness. I thought about having it fixed but it would just take that much longer to grow out. I am just going to let it grow since I really miss my long hair. I actually trimmed the front a bit & then I have had a lot of complements on it but I still feel unhappy about it. I am hoping to be moving to the country this year so I will not want to be bothered with salons anyway- & yes Diana it WAS the co-owner! I don’t know about you-all but I have had some serious nastiness from women who are older than I but have dyed hair- my gray really seems to annoy them. Oh well, NEXT year this time all will be fine! Considering the problems in the world I couldn’t spare too much time for my vanity. 
Posted by on 02/12 at 09:43 PM
You’re welcome! You have a great attitutde Willa and we need to stick together! The transition is the toughest isn’t it? Not only do we have to get used to the morphing but we often put up with other people’s junk along the way.
I work in a professional office and since I couldn’t use color to ease the transition its been 14 months of cold turkey grow out with a little more to go. Not my best look pretty but am I just my hair? I try to do it with dignity.
During that time I endured some snide comments, bold questioning of my sanity, talk behind my back about my ‘duh’ 5 inch roots and one woman finally asked if I had cancer! Worst are the older women. Maybe its because they see that our authnenticity and developing ease with who we really are inadvertently exposes their charade? (That thought works for me:-)
Those are the meanies (perhaps petty and maybe jealous too)...luckily we also have good supportive people in our lives and that’s what counts!
One thing I know, this journey is strengthening my charachter and focus! 
(we be cool!)
Posted by on 02/13 at 04:22 AM
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