Hi, Diana
How short did you go during the transitioning time?
Thanks!
Posted by on 01/11 at 03:03 AM
Café Gray Chat About Gray Hair
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Posted by on 12/06 at 01:58 PM
Hi Silverfox—sounds like you’re facing a big decision here. I went reeeeeally short. I call it boy-cut length, where it was cut up over my ears, very short in back and maybe 2 1/2 - 3” on top. So I could wear it touseled, or spikey, or sort of waved to the side. It gave me a lot of options, and it still felt like I had HAIR. I never thought I’d do it—I always wore my hair long to medium length most of my life. But let me tell you—what a liberating feeling! Here, I was just freed from having to color, and on top of that—I didn’t have much to “fuss” with. I could get ready to go without all the blow-drying, the styling, anything! Maybe I’d stick 2 or 3 rollers in the top while I was doing my make-up, take them out, tousel it around, and I was out the door. On top of that, I got another bonus. If you can tell from my tri-color hair shot, most of my white was in the front and at the sides. When it was short, I looked practically icy white. It was great. The back of my hair was darker—the brown underneath all that blonde—which, mixed with the white, looked charcoal-y. Now that it’s longer, more of that charcoal/pewter color shows, which sort of tones down that nice bright white I had. Believe me, I’m considering chopping it all off again. I’m glad I went long, but I’ve had it cut to chin length since the most recent pic here (under About DLJ), and I just may keep going! Anyway, if you’re thinking about cutting your hair during transitioning, I highly recommend it. At the very least, it gives you a whole new view of YOU! And, as they say, you can always let it grow in again. But this time—without dyed color dangling at the ends! Good luck, D.
Posted by on 01/11 at 08:28 AM
I was a fanatic about keeping my hair long through the process. It was just too traumatic to think of going gray and having short hair to boot!
About 1 year into my transition I contacted Yasmina Rossi. You will recognize her no doubt if you see her. We are 1 week apart in age. She is a stunning model/phtograper in her 50’s. She has been naturally gray most of her adult life.
I wrote to her to thank her for being a vibrant role model. I can see she really reads her email. She wrote back and encouraged me to go shorter and ...just go with it - try and then see. She said I might be surprised. And I was...she is another great gray who has paved the way!
Posted by on 01/17 at 07:06 PM
Hi Morningstar—WOW! I googled Yasmina and she really is fabulous. I’d love to talk to her. Since you say she answers her emails, I might try that. But, yes, what a great role model. So many people confuse gray and “old,” I just wish more people could see vibrant, terrific-looking women like Yasmina. Well, that’s what this site is about. Who knew we were about to change a lot of minds?! Thanks for the tip—and I’m so glad you liked cutting your hair. A lot of women feel the same way you did originally—one trauma at a time. But if you welcome change, if you think NOW is the time to change, it can be totally rewarding. I’d love to see a pic of you. Diana
Posted by on 01/17 at 09:16 PM
Diana, you will be delighted to know that Yasmina has appeared several times in MORE magazine. Not long ago in a spread on gray as a hot fashion color for clothing this past fall (all the models were variations of silver tresses - including model Cindy Joseph)
Ms. Rossi also was featured in the Nov 2007 issue under the segment “This is what 51 looks like”. In that interview when asked about gray hair she tells how she was salt and pepper by age 20 and never colored it becasue she knew it was her best asset.”
Yes I think she is fabulous too and that’s beyond her stunning looks. A talented, mulitfaceted and genuinely nice person.
As I may have mentioned somewhere on the site, my road to gray came by way of developing severe allergies to hair dye. It wasn’t a decision I made. In the response from Yasmina she also said to the effect that nature is very wise - I have come to see that she was right. Nature made the decision for me and my hair has opened the door to a deeper transformation than I could have imagined.
Posted by on 01/18 at 03:16 AM
I saw her website and she is without a doubt, one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I’m very jealous. I also e-mailed her. She is indeed a positive role model for all gray haired women, young and old. Diana, you’re a role model too, hun. 
Thanks everyone!
Kendall
Posted by on 01/18 at 01:44 PM
Spring Summer Sneak Peak....fun, fun, fun! That’s why I love frequently checking back on the site!
I am getting into the ‘what color is me’ phase now....as in my transitioning natural cool toned hair with olive complexion… has left me somewhat ‘perplexed’ when abandoning the warm tones I adopted with the former chestnut brown base color and caramel highlights. Some serious weeding of the wardrobe is in order but I want to be very mindful of what I buy to replace:-)
The idea of color grazing at a pashmina/scarf stand is brilliant! Would love to do yellow....but wasn’t sure if it was do-able. Hmmmm....might just be! Thanks Diana!
Posted by on 01/22 at 06:11 PM
Yes, Yasmina does answer her e-mails. I wrote her and she wrote me back. She really seems to be a sweet lady. she told me that she started going gray at 12 and was salt/pepper by 20. There are so many great role models!!
Kendall
Posted by on 01/25 at 08:28 PM
On the subject of wardrobe colors...I am pale, brown eyes, and my hair is growing in very silver/white. My wardrobe mostly warm colors (my colored hair was chestnut). I just do not feel comfortable in bold, bright cool colors. I guess I’ll just keep my old favorites and try them out. (I know that beige was one of my favorites and is one of the taboo wardrobe colors for grey hair.)
Any comments or suggestions?
Posted by on 01/26 at 05:22 AM
Hi Silverfox—Welcome back! Yeah, beige was one of my “biggies,” too. Those clothes are still in my closet, but I find I just don’t reach for them if I want to look really good. A lot of women aren’t comfortable with bold brights, and going gray is never a reason to wear colors you aren’t happy with. (There are actual, physiological reasons for this, which I go into in the book.) Sounds like you’ve read the “colors” sections here, so you know my tips for cooling your colors just a bit. And you know that gray and icy neutrals (fabulous for silver/white hair) are also very much a part of the Spring/Summer fashion picture. What I’d advise for you is to focus on pure, crisp white and pastels with some “gray” in them, like lilac, celadon, sea foam, or antique rose. They’re quieter, but definitely not wishy-washy. They have some strength to them. If you truly prefer neutrals, look for some with a gray base to them, like taupe instead of beige, or a silver/gray neutral. Then “freshen” it with a color piece somewhere—a pretty-colored tank top, or a lively necklace. Let accessories work for you, rather than the clothes themselves. When we begin to feel pale (or faded), we do need a bit of a spark somewhere.
But, even with pale skin, I bet you’d look great in a nice coral-pink. It’s both warm and cool at the same time, without being overly blatant. And it’s a great wardrobe pick-me-up. If you think of the shades you would put on your face—nothing too bright, nothing too pale—it’s a good way to start. I call them “cosmetic colors.” What do you use on your eyes, your cheeks, your lips?
You’re right not to re-vamp your wardrobe entirely. Keep trying those old favorites. You’ll soon know what you reach for time and time again, and what you don’t. As you transition even more, you’ll change your opinions again, so there’s no sense rushing into a major wardrobe overhaul! Have fun, D.
Posted by on 01/26 at 08:31 AM
Silverfox—just a PS—if your skintone doesn’t naturally “warm up” in the summer, or you prefer not to tan, skip the white. You probably thought this a crazy suggestion, but it CAN work if you add a drop of bronzer to your foundation, or you use a self-tanner. My point was, a crisp white is always better than a beige. But you’ve got to bring your skintone up to it. Sorry for any confusion. D.
Posted by on 01/26 at 09:11 AM
This is more of a woman issue than a gray issue, but it could apply. I have an interesting question. Can a woman be outspoken without being perceived as a b***h? I intentionally put the asterisks in because I respect Diana and all of ya’ll? Just a general question, me and my housemates were talking about that recently. Are there as many outspoken gray women as there are blondes and brunettes?
Posted by on 01/28 at 06:40 AM
Well, I think one can be outspoken without being rude. In my experience it is important to express one’s point of view tactfully, being kind and firm at the same time, respecting other’s opinions.
Posted by on 01/30 at 01:02 AM
Oh, pam40 --
In my heart, I was expressing deep concern for suzy2u’s hair. So sorry if it came off rude. I wanted to convey only a sense of seriousness. 
Posted by on 01/30 at 05:51 AM
Diana, I think Pam was responding to my question up above. I don’t think she was mad at you for your concern for Suzy’s hair.
Posted by on 01/30 at 05:54 AM
Oops, I was just responding to the question Kendall raised.
Diana, I don’t think you could be rude, even if you tried. You have answered all our queries, questions and doubts so patiently, so tactfully, encouraging us every step of the way, giving so much advice and information. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Sorry for the mix-up !!
Posted by on 01/30 at 06:02 AM
Oh—you are so sweet to say that, Pam! I responded from the link I got, without realizing this posting was in a completely different section! Duh. It’s early. Note to self: WAKE UP before you answer! So now my face is really red. Still, your note made me feel terrific—and that’s a great way to start the day! Thanks, D.
Posted by on 01/30 at 06:13 AM
Hi All-
I am going to need new glasses & now that my hair is gray, (oops, I mean tarnished silver) 
I am not sure if I should change frame color. I have been wearing black metal frame glasses- I have to stick with metal frames, I can’t do plastic. Should I switch to gunmetal or stay with black? I’m not sure whether the black adds to my eyes/face or is too harsh-
Please give me your opinon!
Thanks,
Willa
Posted by on 02/03 at 04:42 PM
Hi,Tattooedwilla
I have been wearing silver framed glasses for years. I love the frames and I believe that they go very well with my hair.
(The are oval and the frame is only on the top portion of the lens. With little screws on the nose pc… very retro.)
I also love the frameless glasses with the silver.. a very delicate look.
I guess it would be a personal taste.
A lot of blondes look fab in black frames, so why wouldn’t it be ok with grey hair?
It’s a very modern look.
Posted by on 02/03 at 05:27 PM
Thanks Silverfox-
I wear retro 40’s-50’s clothes & I found some cute period frames that were silver but I wasn’t sure, after wearing black for so long they seemed soooo pale on my face. I think it is another thing to adjust to- I wear primarily black, red & white with the occasional navy item. I was really glad to see these colors suggested to go with gray hair but I just felt stumped regarding glasses.
Posted by on 02/03 at 06:09 PM
Hey Willa --
I gotta chime in here too. I have dark smoke frame glasses, and I get lots of compliments on them. I tried light silver on once—no good. These are plastic, though, but you can get gunmetal, as you say. I saw another pair I liked—in metal. These were purple. A very nice shade with gray. I still want them. I say—go try on ALL the colors! You have kind of green eyes, right? What about a deep green? It’s worth experimenting. The thing about black with gray hair, if the frames are thin, (as metal frames usually are) that’s ok. If they get too thick, they don’t bring life to your face. You should think about glasses almost like eye makeup. What color would you pick to emphasize your eyes? Compliment your face? Happy hunting! (And where are your pix???) D.
Posted by on 02/03 at 06:17 PM
Hi Diana!
Sorry about the pix- I got a wicked virus so am not looking very well, as soon as my nose stops being red I’ll take them I promise!
As far as the frames go I found some almost as cute frames in a thin black. The colors don’t really interest me except maybe red since I wear at least a bit of that pretty much every day (earrings or necklace, red lipstick & nail polish too). I like retro frames if I can get them since they go with my look, if I had enough nose to hold them up I would have horn-rims! I have decided that it will have to be at least gun-metal, my skin is just not right for silver- I polled the store this evening & everyone voted down the silver :-(
Thank you both for the advice!
Posted by on 02/03 at 10:20 PM
Hi TW --
Hope you’re feeling better! Funny about your nose being too small for horn-rims! I have horn-rim sunglasses, but the GOOD thing about them is they go more to the gray/taupe tones, and less yellow and brown. So if anybody out there IS considering horn-rims, look for this kind of palette. Know what you mean about silver—that really got into granny territory for me, too! Especially the small, wire-rimmed vintage kind! (Which my eyeglasses guy keeps pushing, because he says I’ll look cool.) Cool? Hah! Old!! D.
Posted by on 02/04 at 10:33 AM
Hey Diana-
I know what you mean, but the whole “old-looking” thing is so subjective. I remember when the fashion for guys to wear their shirts buttoned all the up & porkpie or fedora hats came out, it just screamed old man to me BUT it was fresh looking to the younger crowd. I think part of staying current is just that. Current. We can’t help but remember what was “old” when we were young but it my not look that way to the style-makers now. My Mother used to frown when I was a teenager & wore platform shoes thinking they looked so old & I wouldn’t have worn plastic jewelry & red lipstick on a bet in 1980 but where I live the retro look is very big with the young & tattooed & doesn’t look too bad on me either! LOL
Posted by on 02/04 at 11:40 AM
Oh, you’re so right Willa. What our mothers thought belonged to their generation, they couldn’t believe their daughters would want to wear. But I can’t bring myself to feel that way—I still love to see anything from the 60’s and the trippy side of the early 70’s. I don’t care if a 13 year-old is wearing it and doesn’t really KNOW (or care) about that era. Looks good to me! Things always go around and come back again. Which is why retro is still so current. And it’s fun to incorporate some of that into your look. But I do know one thing, when I look in a mirror and TRULY look like my grandmother, it’s time to call whatever I’ve got on quits! D.
Posted by on 02/04 at 12:02 PM
LOL! How funny- my Nana is EXACTLY who I am trying to look like! When I was growing up my Nana & her best friend were the most stylish women I knew! Wonderful dresses & shoes, fabulous jewelry & always lipstick & rouge- I have even started wearing my Nana’s perfume. My daughters say I am channeling her! 
I really enjoy emulating her style- seems just right for me now. Nothing makes me feel as fab as my black Hawaiian dress, red sling-backs & red lipstick & jewelry- it’s Nana-sexy!
Posted by on 02/04 at 01:58 PM
Hi all!
Been away for a week...in Florida and ..Shira is right! A little tan and bright lipstick.....are definitely silver enhancements. Maybe I need to move south?
Anyway, nice to see the new ‘posters’ join in the Cafe. Willa, hadn’t thought about the eyeglass thing but since you brought it up...very glad you did! Need to go for new glasses soon and its another angle I hadn’t given a thought to!
The advice was great all around!
Posted by on 02/05 at 06:28 PM
I thought I’d throw this question out as a topic of discussion....which female celebrities over 40 would y’all like to see “grow” gray?
I personally would love to see Cher and Andie MacDowell go gray. I think Cher would look incrediable gray. As would Andie MacDowell.
Lori
Posted by on 02/11 at 12:23 PM
This is fun. You can get a preview of Cher being gray in the Hip Hip Hooray article in the Gray Today section. But let’s see—I’d like to see Demi Moore show some white streaks (but she probably won’t!) and also Jane Fonda and Diane Keaton—because it’s about time!! Come on, let’s hear from everybody. D.
Posted by on 02/11 at 07:07 PM
OK- I would like to see Christy Brinkley & Jane Seymore show the gray I know they have!
Willa
Posted by on 02/11 at 09:14 PM
I’d also would love to Sela Ward and Delta Burke go gray. Or Oprah! LOL
Posted by on 02/12 at 06:46 AM
Oh yes! All of the above would work for me. Its starting to seem down right un-natural to me that these gals don’t sport one silver thread at their age!
Then again, did anyone see the flack the media gave JLo last year for going about town with less than 1/2 inch of gray root? Guess its a tough world under the media lights!
Posted by on 02/12 at 06:41 PM
Yeah, but no-one is razzing Jamie Lee Curtis! Maybe they give flack to her because she covered it up? I call this the wolf/rabbit theory. The more you act like a rabbit the more they act like wolves. So if JLo came out all gray with some attitude I bet they might back down- she can be formidable! 
Posted by on 02/12 at 09:50 PM
Now that really would be something 
Can you imagine the rush of woman and girls asking for bottled gray!
Posted by on 02/13 at 04:07 AM
Some stars aren’t afraid of this. (And I don’t just mean Jamie Lee Curtis or Judi Dench). Did you see the pic of Christina Aguilera in the Hip, Hip Hooray article in Gray Today? I’ve seen others where she is snow white and looks very glam indeed. I think she’s back to blonde now, but ya never know. The thing is, when celebs treat it as fun—even if they’re too young to really be gray—it IS fun. It IS modern. And that whole attitude does a lot to put gray, silver and white on the map. D.
Posted by on 02/13 at 10:02 AM
Don’t know if any of you are country music fans, but to me the most beautiful example of graying with grace in EmmyLou Harris. She is 60 now but has let her hair gray naturally since her mids 30’s. You can go to her web site and check out her album covers through the years to see her progession. There is also a photo album. http://www.emmylou.net/
Posted by on 02/13 at 11:59 AM
Thanks for the link Lori. EmmyLow Harris is beautiful. I also checked out the website of Yasmina Rossi as mentioned in and earlier post by morningstar, there is a clip of her as a brunette, and the rest of the pictures with her natural hair, and she looks so stunning with the white/grey hair.
Posted by on 02/13 at 11:23 PM
Hi Diana,
In August, I decided to stop coloring my dark hair (almost black). Upon advise of my hairdresser, and to transition without much notice, she used semi-permanent color on the gray roots coming in and cut my hair short. About every 4 weeks, I would get the semi-permanent color (which turned the gray a light brown) and continued to get my hair cut short (each time cutting out more and more of the dark hair).
She said when she felt that enough of the gray had come in (now light brown because of the semi-permanent color), she would put a moisturing bleach cap on my hair and the gray would start to be prominent.
I questioned her because I wasn’t convinced this was the route to go (unfortunately, 6 months into it). She called Goldwell and was told that bleach would turn my hair brown, not gray.
So, here I am 6 months into it and I have light and dark brown hair. The only gray visible is the root starting to come in again. I feel that I have gone through this process in vain. I’m right back to where I have started.
Do you have any advise you could offer me at this stage? The obvious solution is to stop using the semi-permanent and get my hair cut short. I do know that I could never walk around with that skunk look. Any advise would be very much appreciated.
Posted by on 02/14 at 08:59 AM
Oh, Cris, I hear your frustration. You started off trying to achieve a graceful transition, and did some good things—got your hair cut, nuanced the color so the contrast would be less obvious, continued to trim the dark ends. It sounds like you had been coloring your hair dark until the point you decided to go gray, right?
Your colorist did the right thing for the first six months, although she probably used a “demi” and not a semi-permanent color. Beth Minardi mentioned there are very few real “semis” used in salons today, and since she mentioned Goldwell, Beth thinks she probably used a Goldwell demi called Colourance.
She also questions a “moisturizing bleach cap” – saying there is no such thing. If there were, it would probably make your hair orange, anyway. Now that enough hair has grown in, she suggests your colorist highlight lighter strands into the hair, after re-formulating another shade for the root which is a bit lighter than the one she has been using. It will be a gradual evolution.
You were right to question your colorist. A lot of women don’t. They figure, like doctors, pros have the magic prescription. Sometimes, they don’t. But I have to say kudos to your colorist, too. She demonstrated she was willing to work with you, she called the company to make sure, and you both prevented what could have been a serious mistake.
I wish we had blog-o-vision here, so I could see the percentage of the lighter brown (which would be your grays) in your hair. It sounds like the lighter brown has nuanced your hair sufficiently so that you won’t have that white/black skunk streaking. Here’s what I’d do if I were you—I’d give my hair a rest for about 2 months. I’d see where the white roots are. I’d see how they blend in with the light brown/dark brown effect. It really may not be so bad, and you’ll be happier because you’ll begin to see some real progress. Then you can decide if you want to go back for the highlighting. Hope this helps, D.
Posted by on 02/14 at 06:33 PM
Diana, thank you for your informative response. I’ll take your advise and give my hair a rest for a couple of months and see where I am at that point. Thanks again!
Posted by on 02/15 at 05:57 AM
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