Our cover girl, Chazz, likes to tell me stories of the women from her gym. As you can imagine, her snow-white hair causes quite a stir. So women are always coming up to her asking how she got that way. What are her tips? Her hair was naturally dark (it had been tons of other shades), but when she made the decision to go “natural,” she had a lot of gray and a lot of dark hair. She did what you can read about in Transitioning. Used a lighter shade on her hair that didn’t touch (or bleach) the natural dark color, but did tint the grays. She said it just looked like she had highlights. As more and more gray came in, she stopped using the lighter color altogether. Chazz thinks most women are really afraid of transitioning. That’s one. There are other “fear factors,” too. Like being afraid you’ll just pale out all over. Being afraid you’ll look older. Being afraid it won’t come in well. I’d like to hear what you’re afraid of. What are your worst fears about going gray? I think this is something we should all talk about.
Posted by on 12/06 at 04:03 PM
Also thanks,Greeneyes.
This morning i am going to let this site see to a friend.She is also struggling with to dye or not to dye...She is also the one who said: you never gonna make this! Maybe i can bring her to other thoughts.Otherwise, so what.I keep going on… 
Posted by on 09/22 at 12:34 AM
Thanks Greeneyes,i hope that my hair grows fast! Today i showed a friend ,who is also struggling with to dye or not to dye....Hope i have convinced her to go gray.When not; i will stay to my decision.
Posted by on 09/22 at 08:26 AM
Sorry, i had a problem with the mail posting; i see two of the same messages
Posted by on 09/22 at 08:30 AM
Hi Catweezle
How’s it going? Did you convince your friend? I asked two of my friends and one said no way, not till I’m 60. I think she would look beter with some silver coming through, but she thinks she will look old. My other friend let a few silvers come through at the front of her hair but then she took fright and dyed it again. I am nearly 6 months into the process and I like the colour that is coming through, but I wish it would grow faster! I’ll post another photo after my next haircut next week. Did you send a photo to this site too?
Posted by on 10/16 at 02:51 AM
Hey - Responding to Diana’s inquiry of what we may fear in going gray. My fear is, I guess, is not being accepted. Most people that I am around either have not gone gray OR a more likely story that most continue to color (either all over color or heavy highlights). I am 49 and I guess am in a place with my life that I am trying to let go of some things. I lost my dad several years ago. At the same time (did not know it at the time) I had started going thru the change - menopause. In the last 2 years our 2 children have gotten married - so we are in the empty nest years. So I guess what I am trying to do is at this stage in my life is to accept me for me - gray hair and all. I am on vacation this next week!! My husband and I are going out of town for a few days - looking forward to that. I know that I am rambling on but would like to say that as women I think that we are too hard on ourselves and sometimes other women. We need to just accept others and ourselves more easily. Hope all have a great weekend.
Posted by on 10/17 at 01:13 PM
Hi Grayme...I agree with all that you’re saying. I have been thinking that I just don’t owe it to the world anymore to have hair that they like....it’s time to be free to do what I like. And, if I don’t like the gray, or white that I expect I will be, I can always go back. But I will never know if I don’t try. Have a great vacation!!
Posted by on 10/17 at 04:05 PM
Well, that’s the whole thing, grayme and breakingfree—this is something we are doing for ourselves. It’s like a commitment to ourselves. I was thinking about that as I was writing an article today. People really can’t talk us out of it. That doesn’t mean we won’t listen, especially if they are close to us, and we may be somewhat influenced. But, in the end, we’re the ones who are going to decide if we want to go gray or not. It’s a wonderful journey to self-acceptance, and like you say, grayme, it’s also a lesson in accepting others for who they are, no matter what “facade” they put up. That’s why a lot more comes from this than just a change in haircolor! We learn a lot about ourselves and others.
Posted by on 10/17 at 05:01 PM
Hi Grayme
Did you have a nice vacation?
I know exactly what you mean, I’m 48 and our kids are grown up too (late teens, early 20s). The accepting phase is challenging, I haven’t got it mastered yet. Also many of my friends started their families in their late 30s and early 40s so they have young children but I feel older somehow cos, mine are 6 feet tall and fix their own snacks 
But, as for the grey hair thing, for me, it looks better (or it will when it’s finished). It’s healthier, it costs less and it’s trendsetting.
Regarding the family thing, sometimes I still have to convice myself sometimes that I can accept an evening invitation without arranging a babysitter 
Hey and I am taking up a new hobby and next Spring we plan to convert part of the garden to grow veg - haha yes me doing stuff with mud!
Tell us how your vacation went and I’d be interested to hear from anyone who is doing the empty nest thing.
Posted by on 10/24 at 01:54 AM
Hey Silverlake—go check out the Wild Gray Women postings. I think that’s where people were talking about being “full-timers”—traveling, etc. after the kids have flown the coop. And in Newbies Graduates Gallery, Deb talks about what she’s doing now as an empty nester. Maybe, if there’s interest, we should start a blog about this in the Café.
Posted by on 10/24 at 04:24 AM
Silverlake, We are back from our vacation to the Smokey Mountains in Pigeon Forge & Gatlinburg, TN. The weather was simply great - we even stayed an extra day. It was a very relaxing time - we rode around alot in the mountains - shopped - and went to a comedy show. It was good to get back home, though. Our dog was very glad to see us! (I still call her a stray - she took up with us when we were building our home almost 10 years ago.) - Hope all have a great weekend.
Posted by on 10/24 at 01:06 PM
Sounds like a lovely vacation and glad you had a great time, the internet is a marvellous modern invention,I just googled the location for images - how lovely!
Posted by on 10/27 at 03:11 AM
Hi Catweezle
I just saw your newbie pics- well done, I know how you feel, everyone in the UK in their 30s and 40s dyes their hair also.
Keep on silvering!
Posted by on 10/27 at 03:12 AM
Hi Silverlake;the pics you saw are from a while ago.December 19 i have an cutting-appointment,and i think(hope!)a lot of dye comes off...For myself i like short,but not boy-short.And i have good and bad days,sometimes i have to pull myself away from the bottles of dye...But for the rest i am very exciting who its gonna look like! My friend has mixed feelings....i dont know what she will decide.
I think your bob-line looks fabulous!
Posted by on 10/27 at 03:45 AM
You both look great!! it has actually gone by pretty fast this whole transition thing...so far...i am going to check out the site for feathered pixies ...i have worn my hair short for quite awhile but i am always willing to experimentwith a new short style...although no matter what i do it always ends up pretty much the same!!
as far as your friend with the mixed feelings ..well i find that the whole time thing really works in our favor...gives everyone a chance to “adjust”...including my kids who had an opinion for sure!! now they are a bit defensive if someone says gray hair is aging ha ha...go figure…
we had a bit of the empty nest for a few weeks in the summer when our youngest went to hamburg germany for 3 weeks on an exchange (his partner was just here a few weeks ago for 3 weeks...loved her) really found that stress level was down to about nothing...jsut for the convenience of not having to worry about who what where and mostly WHY??
with 3 kids it is never really quite empty what with the available washer /dryer and the meals thrown in here and there… found out after all these years we still kinda like each other!!
louann
Posted by on 10/27 at 12:53 PM
Hi lainla3
Know what you mean about th empty nesting. Food stays in the fridge for more than 24 hours after I bought it, the dryer is curiously silent and there is room for my shoes in the cupboard, hey but they all descend every now and then and it gets to be noisy and fun!
The short haircuts I really liked were on this site:
http://www.short-hairstyles.com
Happy choosing!
Thanks Catweezle for the compliment - it is much shorter than I usually go and it only takes about 5 min to blow dry. Send us some more pics after your hair cut in December please!
Posted by on 10/27 at 01:37 PM
I will.
Posted by on 10/28 at 12:28 AM
checked out the short hair website...lots of fun!! actually printed a few out!
happy halloween
louann
Posted by on 10/31 at 09:14 AM
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