Thank you Diana still think it might be time to re-think the hairstyle though!!

I like the Demi Moore comment - and having a younger husband certainly does work for me! 

Posted by purpleygirl on 09/12 at 11:01 AM

my husband and most of his family gray rally late...his dad is 91 and really his gray hair started when he was in his 80’s…
i always thought i would color mine until my husband “caught up” with me but decided forget it...i can’t wait that long!!! (there is that whole patience thing again!!)
louann

Posted by lainla3 on 09/12 at 03:42 PM

Purpley - Rethinking is fine, if it is what you want.  My DH is significantly older and we have gotten our fair share of rude comments.  The worst is when he is mistaken for the grandfather of our children.  I figure there are rude and stupid people all throughout this world, and I refuse to let them dictate how I feel about myself or my relationships.  (okay that is how I feel on a confident day). 

anyway, keeping yourself on your own set course is key.  best of luck.

Posted by MsMika on 09/12 at 09:06 PM

MsMika - wise words - thank you - I’m not feeling so bad about it today.  When my 15 year old son was a baby (I was in my early 40s and already quite grey at the time) I was asked if he was my grandson but that was a bit more understandable!!!

Unfortunately the comment was made on a day when i had other very serious issues going on at work and was feeling very anxious and in a very vulnerable state.

Today is better.

Posted by purpleygirl on 09/13 at 01:10 AM

Glad to hear it, Purpley.  That is what this place is for - to be heard & validated, and supported to get to a better place.  Have a great day.
M

Posted by MsMika on 09/13 at 08:08 AM

MsMika I am so pleased to have found this site.  I am based in the UK but I guess most of you lovely posters are in the US.  All my friends dye their hair and I do feel like I am making a one woman stand!!  My hairdresser (who has seen me brunette and red) loves my natural look and has told me that I must stay with the grey as she thinks it suits me very well.  Must be to do with being a ‘winter’ colouring (and probably why the red just didn’t work with me!).  Anyway it’s great to find some like minded people.  My brother in law who lives in the States has just bought the book for me so I am hoping for some new ideas - particularly with make up.

Posted by purpleygirl on 09/13 at 01:47 PM

hi purpleygirl...welcome to the best yak shop in town!!!
i feel like we can all get in “ruts” so for me this has been a great experience..so far the geow out line isn’t tooo bad since i am blessed with a thick head of hair and the way it sits you can’t really see the part line…
what i am hoping is that by the time it starts to bug me..i can cut it off...my hair is short already…
i saw some pics of myself taken at a wedding 2 weeks ago 3 weeks ago and with the sunlight...my hair really takes on that ORANGE hue...it looks down right unhealthy…
and i have a great colorist...who is very supportive of this decision…
good luck and have you sent in some pics yet?? i will have my husband update asap
louann

Posted by lainla3 on 09/13 at 01:58 PM

Purpleygirl - I know what you mean about the differences in regions.  I was in the Netherlands visiting family earlier this summer and my first thought was ‘oh no - I’m going to have to defend my hair EVEN MORE there’.  My family teased me mercilessly - especially b/c I am the youngest and the only one with so much gray.  Well all the other women in the family dye their hair -so what do you expect!  But the Dutch seem to really dye like crazy, they don’t really mind how unnatural it looks, because they really aren’t going for the natural look. 

glad you at least have the support of your stylist & your hubby.

Posted by MsMika on 09/13 at 02:08 PM

The best:  I get compliments all the time; mostly from young people which is surprising.  When I was a young woman, gray haired women wore “tint” (usually frivolous fawn) and their hair was “fixed” every week;

The worst:  Always being asked if I want to use my senior citizen discount… sigh.  But yes, I do.

I miss being “carded” ... ha ha ha....

Posted by Lynn on 09/30 at 01:58 PM

My best: Being told by someone that my hair looked great when it was gray.

The worst: She told me after I colored my hair black!

Truly the most worst was having three different people (one one week no less) ask me:
1. If I was Sister-in-law’s mother (she’s a couple of years older and gray too).
2. If I was my mother-in-law’s sister (she’s the SIL’s mother and 65, also gray).
3. If my husband was my son (no wonder they were looking at me funny when I was picking a piece of lint off of him). My husband is 4 months younger and beginning to gray.

Another positive: My husband, son, SIL, and complete strangers have encouraged me to get back the gray. I really, really, really miss it.

Posted by Silverhair on 10/15 at 05:42 PM

Mary,

My Sister-in-Law was growing her hair out at the same time I was and my brother talked and talked about how wonderful his wife looked, but they went on a trip to her country (Macedonia) and her family convinced her that she needed to color her hair...so she did and my brother told me (confidentially) that her hair was not a pretty gray.  And it made me doubt what everyone was telling me… but you know what?  You can’t please everyone, so if you miss it.. then do it again… come back to the “light” side with us.

Posted by Lynn on 10/15 at 06:56 PM

Lynn,

Thanks for the welcome back! It feels good to be going to the “light” side once again, even if it means having to go through the awful growing-in period. At least, I know now that it will be the last time.

I shared with my SIL that I was going to stop coloring (got lots of encouragement by her, she not only went gray, but also grew it long, no frumpy grandma look for her). I asked her why she went gray, she shared the following:

1. Don’t have time to keep up with the color.
2. This is what G-d gave her and she’s happy with it.
3. Too expensive to keep coloring, even if it is do-it-yourself. Which is messy, stinky, and time-consuming (#1).
4. Sometimes you get the color wrong (too dark).

I’m so glad that this website is here and that there are so many more of us than I could possible imagine (and I have a BIG imagination).

Posted by Silverhair on 10/16 at 02:37 AM

i really believe there are more of us than we know!!!
louann

Posted by lainla3 on 10/16 at 04:58 AM

The best:  I just had a great time this week talking with a like minded woman I met in a store.  We were discussing the clothes as we were both interested in the same shirt - and talking about the colours that go with our grey hair and skin tone.  Great sisterhood!!

I saw a very glamorous looking woman today who had grey hair - there’s no reason why it should be granny looking I’ve just grown mine a bit and I am soooo happy with it.

Posted by purpleygirl on 10/16 at 08:10 AM

You know purpleygirl, I was just at the library and I saw a fabulous looking woman with gray hair too. I wanted to say to her that she looked great but I was driving away. When I used to be gray, I would go out of my way to tell women with gray hair how great it looked. Of course, it helped that I was gray also! Somehow it doesn’t seem as sincere when someone says those words but they have pigmented hair.

I also realized, in Diana’s book, she talks about how you know gray hair isn’t for you if you look at pigmented hair with envy. I guess that is how I know that gray hair is for me, when I look at other gray hair with envy!

Posted by Silverhair on 10/16 at 08:31 AM

Hi mary and purpleygirl, I have never posted in this particular blog so this is the first I’ve read your comments. Do either of you have pics up on the site?  You know how we love pictures!! Are you both transitioning? I’m sorry if you’ve posted that somewhere and you’ve already answered. I always like to know too, if you have chosen to let it grow out or have it cut off.  I’ve been trying to post in more areas and glad I found you. My granddaughter would love your name, purpleygirl, she loves that color.

Hey, Louann, you get around don’t you? Can’t wait to meet you, I have a feeling our faces will be sore from laughting
before the lunch is over.

Posted by sallee on 10/16 at 02:05 PM

Hi sallee, I don’t have any pictures on the site yet but will do when I get around to it.  I went over to the light side about 5 years ago having been brunette and red. It was quite short at the time so the colour grew out really easily.  I’m really happy with my God given highlights and love to see grey hair on other people (men and women).  Think George Clooney and Richard Gere

How old is your granddaughter? - she sounds like a girl who will go far in life!!

Posted by purpleygirl on 10/16 at 02:20 PM

Before I found Diana’s site I never really thought about my hair and having let it go “to the light side” as you say. I love this site and so glad I found it after reading an article that mentioned Diana, her book and this site. I cut all mine off when I decided to go natural. Would have never been able to just grow it out. After it was all natural, I’ve just felt free about my hair, although I’ve just learned to embrace the wavy, curliness of it. I just kind of go with it instead of trying to fight it. Lots easier. I love my hair natural and it’s still changing.

My granddaughter is almost 5. Funny story about purple. When started talking purple came out perkle and even though she learned to say purple we all still say perkle. One of those family things.

I look forward to seeing your pictures.

Posted by sallee on 10/16 at 02:39 PM

sallee, I know what you mean about embracing the wave/curl.  I spent years - and a lot of money - straightening my hair when I was younger.  It is very freeing to ‘go with the flow’ and embrace the curl and very much easier on holidays etc.

Your granddaughter sounds adorable.

Posted by purpleygirl on 10/16 at 03:49 PM

Hi Sallee and Purpleygirl,

I’ve submitted my pictures to Diana and will be joining the Newbies of 08. Although I don’t know if I would be considered a newbie since this is the second time I’ve come over to the “light” side. However, I fully plan on staying on the “light” side this time. Does it matter, do you think, that I’ve no choice really, since I’m allergic to hair dye now?

This will by my second time going au natural. I do not look forward to the growing in period at all. The last time I did what Elizabeth did and got all of the dyed parts cut off. I had 1/2 inch of growth over my entire head!

I, then had my husband take the clippers and clip off the dyed part the hairstylist missed on the side. I cried! I could cry now thinking “What in the world was I thinking when I dyed it black again!?!” Now I’ve got to repeat that grow out period! I don’t know if I will “cut it down to the wood” again (as Elizabeth says). But knowing myself I probably will because I really miss all those gray hairs.

I had a lot of people comment (mostly nice) on my LTH (Little Tiny Haircut), it was wonderfully liberating. I am already seeing little glimmers of silver and I last dyed my hair last Sunday. Luckily, my hair grows fast!

Do either of you or anyone else have hair that grows fast?

Mary

Posted by Silverhair on 10/16 at 04:51 PM

Hi Mary, I do have hair that grows pretty fast, lucky that way. I’m in a grow period right now. I’ve had all lengths of hair from extremely short to pretty long. I’m amazed how many of the silver sisters on the site have had allergic reactions to the dye, but I think most are happy now they did. Can’t wait to see your pics.

Posted by sallee on 10/16 at 05:04 PM

Wow Sallee, I went over to look at your picture. That is some gorgeous hair you have. How long did it take you to grow it? What do you use on it or do to it to keep it looking so wonderful?

Mary, who is looking for ideas for her own head of hair.

Posted by Silverhair on 10/16 at 05:10 PM

Hi Diana,

I did respond to your email. I will resend it right now (at 9:17 am on October 17).

Please let me know if you get the email.

Thanks, Mary

Posted by Silverhair on 10/17 at 05:18 AM

Hi Mary, thanks for the compliment. I don’t really remember how long it took to get there. Maybe two years. It grew out of a short cut I had that wasn’t driving me crazy, so I just let it grow. I don’t do anything special to it. I’ve learned not to wash it everyday, makes it easier to work with, especially now with all the wave and curl its developed. I do use a shine serum on it sometimes, but that’s about it. I’m thinking in another two years it will be as long as it was in the pic with my granddaughter. I had it layered the very last time I had it cut and that seems to suit my hair better then all one length. It’s longer in the back and cut to frame around my face so I can wear it up if I want, which I do a lot. Hope your pics get up so we can see.

Posted by sallee on 10/17 at 07:53 AM

This is not a horrible “worst” but I decided to grow my hair out once I saw Sallee’s beautiful hair ... Well I keep seeing all these advertisements for extensions and I thought that I would shop for extensions and maybe see just how much I would love long hair.  Well, I was told that red and gray hair are impossible to match and they don’t make extensions for gray hair.  Now they do make the clips for gray hair and my match was number 56… and you can buy wigs but no extensions.  Phooey!

Posted by Lynn on 10/17 at 06:51 PM

I went to Italy on vacation 2 weeks ago-- started in Rome, then a bike trip in Sicily. My transitioning is complete and my hair is growing nicely (and I’ve loved it) but… I have never felt so frumpy in my life as I did in Italy. The women are all wearing heels, tight jeans, stylish clothes and NOONE has grey hair except old, old ladies so I got stares and stares… not helped by the fact that I was there for a bicycle trip and had not brought said fancy clothing. Was close to coloring with a box anywhere, anytime. But, home again, I’m feeling much better. If I go to Italy again with grey hair, I’ll at least have the boots and jeans....Anyone else have an experience like this?

Jennifer

Posted by Runner on 11/29 at 07:40 PM

I am pea green with jealousy… not that you felt frumpy ... but to be in Italy!!!  Wow.  However, my sister in law is from Macedonia and she was letting her gray grow out and when she went home, her family threw a fit and bought her some dye and insisted that she cover her gray.  She had to start all over again when she came back to the states. 

Congratulations for not giving in.

Posted by Lynn on 11/30 at 11:25 AM

I had a ‘best’ day recently.  A young store assistant commented on my hair.  She said ‘I love your hair, I know it’s natural but it looks lovely and it really suits you’.  What a sweetie. 

Posted by purpleygirl on 11/30 at 01:08 PM

Best: 
No expense
No mess
No skunk streaks
Time savings
No smell
No chemicals on my hair
Knowing my natural look
Hearing people’s comments; one lady at a bead show was staring at me, then asked me to forgive her, but she was looking at my hair trying to figure out how I got it colored this way.  I told her God did it.  I’ve had many many other positive comments besides that one, too.
My hair looks natural now, with all kinds of tones and colors; before it was all one unnatural color.  This ROX!
Having people tell me I don’t look old enough to be gray.
Being with my mom and sister, all of which are gray; we are all natural now and look really cool!!
Knowing I’ll never get carded again
Getting offered senior discount (I never take it because they’d likely ask for my license and I’d be busted)
Looking in the mirror and loving what I see (that’s number ONE!)

Worst:
Being offered senior citizen discount when I know I don’t qualify (I know I put in BEST, too, but it depends on how it hits me)
People say “you must be smoking crack” because I went gray.  Only one was that rude, but her unnatural color looks like straw covered in dog poop, so THERE. 

I love love love love my gray hair!  It’s ME!!!

Posted by rocksister on 12/23 at 08:13 AM