Café Gray

Silence is not Golden

It’s not even silver! Have you noticed? Some of our dearest silver sisters are always there for you, offering advice, answering questions, sharing their hair woes and triumphs. Other members choose to remain mum. And that’s fine, if you’re browsing or lurking. But if you’ve joined the silver sisterhood as a Newbie or Gallery Girl, it’s nice to “give back.” To offer encouragement to someone else. To chat in “Let’s Hear it for the Newbies.” Ask a question in “Playing the Waiting Game?” Share your concerns in “Friends & Family.” The more you chat, the more support you’ll get. Because forming a community of great grays who support and help each other is very important to me, I’d like to ask all of you who have submitted pictures recently to join in this vibrant and exciting sisterhood. Because that is truly what this site is all about.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 10/15 at 02:42 PM

yea we like to yak and yak and yak… cool smile
louann

Posted by lainla3 on 10/20 at 05:41 AM

Just found your website yesterday, I have been back several times...I ordered the book today and I look forward to the process…

I have been going grey since I was 16.  I have been coloring my hair for the last 30 years.

I see beautiful women on the street with gorgeous grey hair and have been thinking, wonder if mine would look that good.  I have/had naturally very dark hair and my gray is probably 70%. When it grows in, it is white.  My “halo” appears about 2 weeks after coloring.  I guess I am blessed with fast growing hair but it is hell on the coloring and I HATE to do it. I have hated it for years… My husband is supportive and I think I am ready to do this. 

Since my hair is colored dark brown, I think the first step is to go to a professional and lighten it up so the contrast will not be so stark.  I am afraid of a short cut, as I am not a skinny girl.  I am afraid of the transition and know the skunk look will be difficult…

All the pictures here are inspiring.  I do believe that I am ready.....  Ready, set, go!!!  It has been three weeks since my last color and the skunk line is definitely starting!! 

I look forward to being an active member of the group!!  Beautiful grey, here I come....

Sabina

Posted by sabina on 10/26 at 07:21 PM

Hi Sabina—Welcome! So glad you found us, and thanks for ordering the book. cheese I’m sure you’re just starting to explore this site, but you’ll find LOTS of chat topics on the right. And, believe me, they are all ACTIVE. So the best place to post as you begin to go through transitioning is “Playing the Waiting Game?” If you send in your pics as you go along, post under “Let’s Hear it for the Newbies.”

Not that we have hard and fast rules, it’s just that people tend to gravitate to chats in their topic of interest. Most everybody gets notifications of posts, but only in chats they’ve already posted in. (And you can see, only one other person has posted here.) So that’s why you’ll get max attention and support in a chat dedicated to whatever you want to talk about.

Sounds like you’re on your WAY! You’ll find a further explanation of how you can use a “pro” to help ease you into it in the book, but you’re right to consult one. Especially if you don’t like the contrast of that skunk stripe, and you don’t feel short hair is right for you. Fortunately, it sounds like you’re going to have a fast grow-out. So keep that halo shining!! As you say—ready, set, GO! It’s really an exciting adventure, and you’ll have your Silver Sisters for support here!

Posted by Diana Jewell on 10/27 at 05:03 AM

hey where did everyone go????
i am off to a meditation series at my church tonight!! i guess i will learn how to keep quiet LOL
louann

Posted by lainla3 on 10/29 at 05:45 PM

Welcome Sabina!  I’ve been a newbie for about 5 1/2 months.  I too was very dark brown, and the first thing I did was get highlights.  Instead of highlighting big chunks of hair, she highlighted very small pieces, to better mimic the gray.  I hated it at first, but after using the “bluing” shampoo that cuts the brassiness, I’m very happy with it, and am so glad I did it.  It really helped to minimize the skunk stripe. 

I also HATED dying my hair, and needed to do it every 2 weeks (but would usually use mascara to cover the roots for at least a week or two more because I loathed it so much).  With all that, I really thought my hair would be growing faster than it is.  After 5 1/2 months, my roots are about 3 inches long.  Ugh.  “A watched pot never boils”.  I’m so anxious to just be done, but with longer hair, the process takes a bit longer. 

But I’m really doing well with the journey.  It’s very exciting to see the changes along the way.  And as a lot of our silver sisters have stated, we sure are learning patience.

So welcome!  Know that you are not alone by any means.

Posted by RunnerGal on 10/30 at 10:10 AM

i have been lucky enough to see runner gal in person and her hair looks great!
louann

Posted by lainla3 on 10/30 at 10:39 AM

Hi, I’m new here I registered yesterday 10.30. I love this site.  I sent 1 photo kind of a before and I will send more as time goes on.  My hair is a medium to dark redish brown with a nice silver line comming in. I am thinking of having silver extentions added for part of this process mainly because I’m sure my hair will not be able to be lifted to a lighe enough shade to do the highlights, like RunnerGal I also have long hair any ideas or comments anyone?

Posted by .925 on 10/31 at 01:18 PM

Thanks for the nice welcome.  I had a good hair cut and highlights on Wednesday.  Love it so far.  I don’t know if people are more shocked by the blond highlights or the short cut!!  Short is much better than I imagined.  I was scared to do it, but did anyway.  I cut off alot of hair, probably 12 inches.  My signature braided pony tail is no more....  Looking forward to the natural look!!

Posted by sabina on 10/31 at 08:14 PM

Hi. I’m new also. I’m in the process of making a decision to stop coloring or not. AM 57 & have been coloring for 15 years, the last 10 of those to cover gray.Have been told by hairdresser that I’m over 50% gray. Everyone I know excpet spouse is trying to discourage me from doing this. Am reading the book today. I think I need to just get the nerve to jump in and do it. Fears? Oh yeah. Will my look be “washed out” and dull? I already have very short hair so that won’t be an issue. Guess I’m just looking for some encourage & support,which looks like you guys have all over the place. Thanks for listening.

Posted by redgirl on 11/02 at 07:09 AM

i vascillated (sp?) for at least a year...and was shot down by all except the husband...i too wear my hair short so i find the whole process has been fairly painless...what really got to me was the curiousity factor...i just want to see what is hidden...the beauty of the slow process is the fact that all those “naysayers’ have time to watch the grow out and get used to the idea…
anyway you have landed in “oz” and welcome to the silver side of things!!!
louann!! cool smile

Posted by lainla3 on 11/02 at 08:10 AM

Hi Redgirl, and welcome! If you’ve got the book, you’ll see there are a lot of pages devoted to the two top “fears” of looking washed out and duller. There are ways to combat that, and some of them have to do with getting your skin right, then getting your makeup right.  You’ll see. . .

Letting your silver shine IS a big leap, and it is scary. But those of us who are on the “other side” wouldn’t be any other way, and even some of us going through it have found it either painless—or fascinating. Louann is an example, above.

I wish you courage—and also hope you’ll consider sending your pic in to be part of our Newbies Class. You’ll get all kinds of support and encouragement!

Posted by Diana Jewell on 11/02 at 03:34 PM

Just finished the book. Lots to learn, but I guess it’s like going through menopause. You can read up on the subject but everyone goes through it differently. Seeing all the beautiful pictues in the book and on this web site is helping me make up my mind. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

Posted by redgirl on 11/02 at 03:49 PM

you’ll do great as long as it is YOUR OWN decision!!!
that much i do know ...once i decided then BAM i wanted it NOW !! LOL
but patience is a much learned virtue!!
menopause..well that too has been pretty painless...some of the stories i hear from friends are wild! other than sleepless nights it ain’t tooo bad!!
ahhh the aging process...thank god i’m alive to go thru it!!!
enjoy it all!!
louann

Posted by lainla3 on 11/02 at 04:13 PM

Love all the updated transitioning photos (Wendy, Linda, Dara, and Lois).  It’s always fun logging on and seeing those smile

Welcome Redgirl! 

Thanks, Diana, for making this all happen.  I spent the first 5 months without y’all (not knowing this group existed).  It’s so much more fun this way smile

Karen M. in Florida

Posted by SSaS on 11/02 at 04:42 PM

Hi there, I enjoy seeing all of the beautiful women on this site.  I decided to go sans color fifteen weeks ago, July 25th and I’ve got about 1 1/2 inches of growth. 

It was not really my choice to be a Silent Sister all of this time but there have been many glitches both natural, Hurricane Ike, and technology wise such as a computer virus just to name a few.  Add all of this to the fact that I’m techno-challenged, as my husband and sons call it, and you can understand my delay and why I havn’t posted a picture.

I went cold turkey until my birthday in September and thought I’d try a wash away color.  I’m afraid that all I did was add 8 more weeks to my grow out as now I have a tri color going on. My husband is so sweet, he says it reminds him of his favorite guitar that the color of it is called “Sunburst”.  This goes from a light color in the center of the guitar and gets darker as it goes to the outer edges. 

Diane, you have all kinds of silver color types listed on this site and in your book.  “Sunburst” is my color durring transition. LOL

Durring this process you all have not been silent in your support so I thank you for helping me through this process and thank you Diane for helping us stay on track with all you do to keep this site going.

Marisa in Texas

Posted by Marisa on 11/04 at 09:06 AM

Marisa in Texas,

I’m glad you came thru Ike ok, we did too, I’m in Sugar Land, Where in TX are you? Are you going to the Texas Silver Sister’s Event?!? Let’s all get together! I hope to see you there.

Judy

Posted by .925 on 11/04 at 09:44 AM

RedGirl,

You rock..........so brave!!

Posted by .925 on 11/04 at 09:46 AM

Hi Marisa in Texas, and welcome! Oh, I know about being tech-challenged, but why don’t you get those who tease you in the family to help you send in a picture for Newbies?  Or at least size a pic so you can be in the Members Album, and include your bio?  Put ‘em to work, I say! LOL

I’m concerned that your “wash away” color didn’t wash away. Hope you just used a shampoo-in, shampoo-out rinse. Nothing more permanent than that. It should fade, and not add another 8 weeks to the process unless it was a demi or a semi.

So glad you’re not a Silent Sister anymore!  Keep the posts coming.  You might want to try posting under “Playing the Waiting Game” since lots of gals look there for transitioning support.  And there’s always the “Let’s Hear it for the Newbies” chat.  It’s even better tho’ when we can see your pic.

Good question—have you thought about going to the Texas Silver Sisters event?? It’s coming up SOON. Go check out the Events Page under the Great Grays tab!

Posted by Diana Jewell on 11/04 at 10:09 AM

Judy,

Life is SWEET here in SL.  This is amazing!  big surprise I’m in First Colony.  We finally got the insurance adjuster out and can start getting estimates on the roof and someone out to do the fence but I’m not complaining.  Zippy our dog IS complaining, she misses sitting in the sun.

Sadly I won’t be able to go to Dallas but maybe we should have a mini pre-event of our own.  Since you’re still new in the process all you have to do is stand near me and you’ll look awsome. LOL

Is there anyone else from our area?

Marisa

Posted by Marisa on 11/04 at 10:19 AM

Diane,

My hubby will hopefully be able to help me get things rolling and post a pic later this week. 

The color IS faded and my white lookes stained.  I used Natural Instincts, it is supposed to wash out in 28 washes and it could be that I just havn’t washed it enough since I only wash it about twice a week.  My scalp is not oily and my hair is dry so I don’t want to dry it out more.  Besides, my hair is very thick, course, and curly so the less I need to style it the better. 

From the root my natural hair is salt and pepper (actually very dark brown) for half an inch, then one inch of stained white, then about 2 to 3 inches of my old color transitioning from an oxidised medium golden brown (looks red/orangy in the sunlight)to darkish brown.  “SUNBURST”!

I’m okay with it.  I just walk around like I’m on top of the word and hopefully people will notice my good attitude before they notice the top of my head.  The only problem is that I’m only 5’2”, Ha!

I see so many women with beautiful natural silver and they are my inspiration.  I tell them this whenever I can.

So, Diane and all of you out there.  You’re gorgeous and I can’t wait till I can join you.

Marisa

Posted by Marisa on 11/04 at 10:58 AM

Yet another Daily Mail article about going grey, this time a columnist apparently breaks the ‘last taboo’ by admitting to grey roots. Please!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1088823/LIZ-JONES-Cellulite-Breast-surgery-Going-sex-Our-style-guru-confessed-Now-breaks-taboo-Grey-roots.html

Posted by Sharon on 11/24 at 04:13 AM

shut eye Sharon—you can only imagine my reaction to THAT article!  I couldn’t stop myself—I had to reply. I don’t know if they will post it or not, but really, that shame-and-guilt trip was really too much. 

Come on, you guys, let’s not stand for this. Go to the link, and POST some comments.  This kind of thinking has got to stop. angry

Posted by Diana Jewell on 11/24 at 07:20 AM

Ok, I’ve read the article and put in a comment.  Oh it makes me so mad!  I could only see three comments, and all of them disagreed with the author.  I hope she’s overwhelmed with people with the opposite view!!  Maybe her eyes will be opened!

Posted by RunnerGal on 11/24 at 09:18 AM

RunnerGal and Diana, you can see lots more comments to this article by clicking ‘view all’. There are over 100 comments. I haven’t finished reading them all but so far the majority I’ve seen disagree with the writer. I left a comment myself earlier today but using a pseudonym.

Posted by Sharon on 11/24 at 09:39 AM

Thanks, Sharon—I did scroll all 100+ comments. Obviously, Liz is not confident enough to either “go natural” OR include mention of a website that might help her and other women.  confused

I did enjoy reading some of the other comments, though.  Did yours get posted? Did yours, RunnerGal?

Posted by Diana Jewell on 11/24 at 09:56 AM

You ladies are helping me stretch my boundries.  I submitted a comment also.  I should have also suggested to her that time spent building others up is so much more enjoyable and fulfilling than finding faults and using them against them.

I just posted as M from Houston.  It says that it takes a while for posts to show up and to be patient.  Ha! We certainly know what patience is. grin

Marisa

Posted by Marisa on 11/24 at 10:29 AM

Diana, I haven’t seen my comment on there yet.  But some of those comments are unbelieveable!

Posted by RunnerGal on 11/24 at 02:28 PM

Hi Diana, yes my comment appeared but censored so as to remove the link to GGLG. Hmmmmmmm......

Posted by Sharon on 11/24 at 03:51 PM

Figures. No it doesn’t, actually. If you’re really running a service column for women and you delete something that can help them, well, that’s just bad journalism.

I’m glad blogs and other sites here in the US aren’t that paranoid.

Well, won’t be wasting any more time with poor Liz. Looks like she just wants to talk about herself and her views, which are really rather archaic. As is her hair color. Meowwwww. tongue laugh

Posted by Diana Jewell on 11/24 at 07:25 PM

Wow, this lady has issues! I suppose absolutely nothing is worse than gray hair to her. And her hair color. Oh my.

I scanned some of the comments and happily found that many did not agree with her. In fact, it seemed as if the majority had some bone to pick with her.

I wonder if this woman has children - and more specifically, daughters? What a poor perception of beauty she must be passing on. Okay. My dramatic self is surfacing.

Thanks, Diana, for being a voice for us and also giving us a voice. You’ve helped pave the way so we can be free of these types of perceptions!

So free of hair dye and loving it more all of the time!!!

Posted by greeneyes on 11/25 at 07:22 AM

One of the posts suggested googling Yasmina Rossi and/or Carmen to see their silver hair.  I’ve never heard of either one of these ladies (yes, I live a sheltered life) smile I got way more than I bargained for when I googled Carmen shock - let’s just say that I’m glad the boys were in another room. red face

But, Yasmina, surprised she’s gorgeous excaim I want to be her when I grow up.

Posted by Marisa on 11/25 at 08:16 AM

Hi, I’m new here.  I found this site last week, the day before Thanksgiving.  I had an appointment to get my roots done and it was like I got a shot of confidence, like I suddenly woke up or jumped out of line and saw things differently.  Today about a quarter-inch of my roots are gray.  Normally I would be sweating this ~ seriously.  I’d want to hide and I would feel terrible....but instead I feel so excited!  I’m not looking forward to the transition, but I’m so ready for the end result.  After seeing all the picture of the brave women on this site, I just know its going to be beautiful.  Thank you so much for being here!

Posted by sunnyliljude on 12/02 at 08:35 AM

Sunnyliljude,

Welcome!!!  So glad you found us.  Good for you on making the decision to go natural.  This site is really awesome, and you can become as involved as you want to be!  My husband calls it my support group.  Take a look at the Transition tab, and think about sending in some before photos.  It’s a great way to stay accountable, and we all LOVE to see new photos!!  Everyone on this site will be your biggest cheerleaders.

So welcome again!

Posted by RunnerGal on 12/02 at 08:57 AM

Good for you Sunnyliljude! So glad you found this site and are already on the path of transitioning!

Posted by greeneyes on 12/02 at 09:11 AM

I’d like to add my welcome, too, Sunnyliljude.  You’re on your way to a glorious gray.  Or natural. Or silver. I second RunnerGal’s suggestion of sending in pics. The great support here really helps speed you through transitioning.  Just go to the Great Grays tab, and click on Three Reasons to Send Us Your Picture on the right navigation column.  That will tell you all you need to know about sending in a pic. Hope to “see” you soon! cheese

Posted by Diana Jewell on 12/02 at 09:15 AM

Welcome, Sunnyliljude, cute name.  Glad you’re joining us.  The ladies here make transitioning a whole lot easier.  Can’t wait to see your pics.

Posted by Marisa on 12/02 at 09:32 AM

Thanks for the welcome.  Okay, I just sent in my picture.  You can’t really see any gray, so I guess it’s a good “before” shot.

Posted by sunnyliljude on 12/02 at 09:35 AM

oh boy i can hardly wait!!!!!
louann wink

Posted by lainla3 on 12/02 at 11:54 AM

Hey all!  I’m going in for highlights tonight.  Not to the roots (which I am truly loving!!) but just the portion of hair that still has color. 

I have learned that my roots are not drab like I always thought they would be.  No sireee, they are like sparkley white diamonds peeking through my colored hair.  I’m so excited about this new discovery and just wish my hair would grow faster!  It’s going to be beautiful.

Posted by sunnyliljude on 12/10 at 11:00 AM

Yay Sunnyliljude—sounds like a plan!  Next, go mine those sparkly white diamonds!!  And don’t forget—send in your pic after highlights.  We wanna see! LOL

Posted by Diana Jewell on 12/10 at 11:07 AM

Page 1 of 2 pages  1 2 >

Please Login or Register to leave a comment.

Next entry: Home Sweet Home

Previous entry: Silver & The City

Back to Cafe Gray

recent entries

First Time User?

Click here to register (current members please login). A Member Registration screen will come up, and you can fill in the fields you see. Be sure to click “I agree to the terms of service,” then hit submit.

In a few short moments, you will receive an email thanking you for your new member registration, and asking you to click on a link to activate it.

Now you can re-join Café Gray. Login, and leave a comment to any posting you like. We’ll all find out the products we like best, the problems we’re having, the triumphs we’ve felt. You’re a Member! Tip: If you don't want to login each time you come to the Café, simply never log out.