Playing the waiting game?
Going through “transitioning?” What are your tricks? Your treats? Once you get into it, it’s not much of a process at all. The dead of winter is a perfect time to start, especially if you’re in a climate where you wear hats, scarves, and other hair-hiders. Here’s the strategy: In January, cut your hair short, wear all the hats you want all winter, hibernate if you like, and by spring, your hair will be a bit longer. Get a choppy, modern cut to see you through summer. By June, you will have 6 months of gray grow-in, you won’t be bothered with ends of a different color, and you’ll be able to tell if you like the “new” you. That’s the time to consider if you want to “adjust” it a bit with highlighting, lowlighting, glazing, or any other professional service. But you’ll know what you’re dealing with, and you’ll be well on your way to being a great gray!
Posted by Diana Jewell on 12/12 at 07:02 AM
Oh my.... ladies, thanks for the laughs!!! The more I read, the funnier it became. Suzy2u, people talking to your stripe...Joanna, I loved your AA comment...and Karen, the badge idea! Why is it we feel we need to explain ourselves? Don’t know, but I feel it too...wanting people to know I am not being lazy about coloring and that it is a choice I am making. :o) Anyhow, I woke up feeling the blahs (not concerning hair - hadn’t looked in the mirror yet!)....but reading your comments cheered me up.
We really can be dramatic, can’t we? And we certainly are passionate about our choice of hair color. It’s a funny thing. I’m glad we have some bright moments while going through transitioning, which can feel slow and ugly at times.
Thoughts and prayer, Karen, for your dad. Best wishes…
Thanks again, Ladies....you brightened my day.
Posted by greeneyes on 04/02 at 07:47 AM
I had an appt. with my stylist today and she did pretty much everything that you all have recommended without my suggestions. She trimmed off about an inch or so, left the style basically in a shorter bob, but zig-zagged the part. She did’t discourage me or tell me horrow stories of other clients. In about 2 wks. I will go back for a very small amount of highlights to help blend and then get it cut a little more. My book gets here tomorrow so I’m getting excited!!! I told her about this site so she can tell other clients going through this.
Have a great day!
Posted by karen on 04/03 at 10:59 AM
Oh that’s great, Karen. Sounds like she knows what she’s doing. And thanks for the word of mouth. I like to think you’re all part of the “Gray Brigade”—getting the word out there. It’s funny, you never know when the opportunity will arise to help other women who are “wondering.” 
Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/03 at 01:33 PM
Im 47 and hadnt much grey, till about 2 yrs back--still less than 15% but i panicked and started coloring in late 06; had about 5 sessions, and stopped. my hair is long and was brown black and since my genes are Indian, my skin’s a mid brown. this site is most inspiring but never having been much for salons or makeup im confused about the possible alternatives.
it’s mostly visible round the hairlines. like a dusting of a white powder that’s creeping up as the white roots emerge and new little stragglies accompany them.
Im wearing it up, as i dont know what else to do for now, (kind of like minerva mcgonagle in harry porter!) and hoping that i’ll figure out what to do as far as a cut for im terrified of having my hair cut short and becoming uncontrollable because it’s usually flyaway and keeping it long made it somewhat more manageable
Do you think the white pwder inching up from a few areas round the temples effect wd be really bad? the last colorist said it was better to let it grow in whilst there was relatively little grey, but it doesnt look uniform. my hair folk have not been very progrey at all.
they all said it was ok for men but not women. So i had to go cold turkey.
thanks
W
Posted by wrldpease on 04/04 at 07:34 AM
Hi, W—Welcome to the Café! What can I say—that “white powder” is roots, pure and simple. I wore my hair pulled back while it was growing in, just to let them show more! But you’ve got a lot of contrast going on, and you can either blend in these roots with a temporary or demi product in a shade lighter than your hair (so it looks like highlights), go for real highlights (foiling), or just tough it out.
There are lots of suggestions on this site, both under Transitioning, and also here at the Café, from readers who have found lots of inventive ways to “deal” with roots. It’s never easy to transition, but since you have less than 15% gray, it might be too early for you. Why go through it if, in the end, it’s still only going to look like you have a few “stragglers?” I’d advise you to just let it go for now, and maybe just change your hairstyle. I don’t necessarily mean cut it short—but what about trying bangs, bringing hair forward from the crown to hide that powdery hairline? Oh, and about that “ok for men” thing—Arrrrrrrrgggh! 
Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/04 at 07:55 AM
Hi everyone,
Loved all these comments...I work in a professional environment and have really been amused by people talking to my scalp. Then they realize they’re doing it and try to get back to my face. Reminds me of when I’ve had cold sores and people would be talking to my lip.
When I first stopped colouring (end of August) I was using the crayon sometimes, mascara once in a while, and then got some hilights and lowlights at the six week point to “break-up” the dyed colour (so, yes, bleach foil hilights, and the low-lights were a colour wash--I was adamant that my stylist not use permanent colour). I did this only once because the lowlights didn’t last long. The next time I just got a trim and I now go about every 10 weeks for a trim and that’s it. I found that the first 12 weeks or so were the worst because you really did feel like people thought you just hadn’t gotten around to touching up your roots. After that point, there’s enough that anyone would ‘get’ that you’re growing it out on purpose. I really feel that it’s important to get regular trims and to have fun with make-up and clothes. I find that it makes me feel more pulled together--makes up a bit for the two-toned hair. I really was in quite a make-up rut and am now having fun again with lip sticks and even eye shadows, which I hadn’t used for years!
I think, for me, just trying to be patient and accept that there is an awkward phase helps. I’m fascinated by the natural colour and can’t wait to see more of it.
All the best to all you sisters in transition!
Posted by newbie2 on 04/04 at 09:23 AM
Hey Newbie2—great attitude and great advice! Just play! Start doing things for the “new” you, and you’ll give people something different to stare at! 
Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/04 at 10:09 AM
Newbie2, the transition has its rough spots but you may later on be surprised to learn that a lot of folks will be silently watching you and once they ‘get it’ will admire you for having the strength of character to go through the process without giving up and hiding under a paper bag for months.
There’s light at the end of the tunnel....oh sorry.....it’s your shiny sparkling silvers peeking through.
Posted by morningstar on 04/04 at 03:44 PM
Diana - I have a question for you. I understand that hair turns gray as the tyrosine is depleted and cells stop producing melanin, and without melanin the hair appears gray. But does that reduction in tyrosine/melanin affect hair that is already showing a color (ie:light brown) or does that only affect new hairs that are growing in? In other words, can a long strand of hair that is brown one day, become gray another day due to reduction of melanin to that hair’s follicle? Or do all of the gray hairs start off short? Am I making any sense?? TIA!!
Posted by Barb on 04/07 at 07:09 AM
You’re making perfect sense—and a good question. Gray hairs do not sprout from new follicles. You can’t “grow” any new follicles. You have what you have and that’s it. So, you’ve got a brown hair growing out of a follicle. One of these days, the melanin supply is going to stop to that follicle. You’re outta “juice.” So, as the hair continues to grow, it’s going to push out of that follicle without pigment. ie—it’s going to be white. That’s “roots.” The whole shaft won’t turn white, since it grew when it had a supply of pigment. Only the new growth coming out will be white. That’s what transitioning’s all about.
Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/07 at 08:12 AM
Thanks, Diana! And here I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with “roots” since I don’t have any artificial color in my hair. I guess I just kind of figured my hair would fade to gray in time… 
Posted by Barb on 04/07 at 08:32 AM
I received my new book on Fri., just in time to take it out of town - I love it!! Need to go back and really read it and not skim over it now. I also received my Color Mark in the mail today (ash blonde) and love it. It may not be perfect, but I needed to go somewhere tonight and tried it and it does make a difference.
Karen
Posted by karen on 04/07 at 06:07 PM
Hi Karen—so glad you got everything! And glad the ColorMark got you through. You might want to experiment with a different shade—like Strawberry Blonde or Light Auburn, since your hair seems to have a lot of red in it. Hard to tell—because as the red color fades, you may have picked just the right shade. That’s all part of being a work in progress. But, hey, if your hair wasn’t screaming “look at my white roots,” that’s the important thing! Now you’ve got just another little trick up your sleeve! 
Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/07 at 07:28 PM
I was at the grocery store yesterday and noticed the cashier looking at my roots, I told her I had ditched the dye and was letting it growing in gray. She said I was just thinking how pretty your gray roots were and that you should let it all go gray! What a positive comment for a change, and this girl was in her 20s!
Lori
Posted by Plinkette on 04/08 at 07:47 AM
Thank you Carol...Im pleasently surprised that it is more salt than peper than I thought it would be. I thought it would be darker that it is. I love Paula Deens’ hair and i hope someday to have that color!
I have a tribute photo album to “Silver Belles” on my my space page.She of course one of them as she is Sliver Southern Belle!
Lori
Posted by Plinkette on 04/08 at 08:19 AM
Where is the ‘newbies’ page? Would love to see the photos referred to…
and maybe send one in--
This site is incredible(y good)..it is funny that once i started looking for support for avoiding hair salon ‘black’mail (it’s one thing to want to go, another to run there panicking because roots show, and to cough up the extreme $$ involved twice a month or so and put up with often inane chatter which includes suspicious unwillingness to even help anyone go gray--’Ok for George but not women?! ‘)
i saw so many women out and about who’re gloriously natural with their grey.
it’s about choice..
pls send url for newbies
thanks
W
Posted by wrldpease on 04/08 at 09:10 AM
Hi W,
http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/newbies/
Posted by newbie2 on 04/08 at 09:14 AM
wrldpease:
It was a combination of an article in Oprah and my hairdresser’s suggestion that I start coming in every two weeks for her “program for mature hair” that pushed me to stop colouring.
It has been so liberating to lose the root panic! Soon when the wind blows I’ll be delighted at what is underneath instead of cringing at the thought.
Posted by newbie2 on 04/08 at 09:17 AM
BTW, for those who didn’t see this article, it’s still on Oprah’s website. Great photos of women who look fantastic with their varying shades of grey!
http://www2.oprah.com/beauty/hair/hair_omag_200710_gray.jhtml
Posted by newbie2 on 04/08 at 09:23 AM
Oh, Newbie2—I’m still cringing over the “program for mature hair!”
Where do salons GET this attitude?!? Well, if it took that “push,” I’m glad it did, and you will be too! D.
Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/08 at 12:20 PM
I got my color mark on Tuesday! I haven’t tried it yet. Probably will try it Saturday as it is my birthday and we’ll be going out.
Has anyone tried their’s yet?
Posted by Plinkette on 04/10 at 08:36 AM
Hi Lori --
Just above a few posts, Karen posted that she tried it. Said it made a difference, although “not perfect.” Don’t know if she was referring to the shade selection or not. Hey—HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Anybody else try theirs yet? Do post!
Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/10 at 08:43 AM
Thanks for the BD wish. It’s been raining here for days and I haven’t even ventured out anywhere to try it. I don’t think spring will ever arrive here in the St. Louis area!
:(
Lori
Posted by Plinkette on 04/10 at 08:49 AM
YES it will! It’s the first gorgeous day in NY today—70º I think. I sunbathed. Actually got a little flash of red down my arms. I know, bad. . . boo. . . but I love it! You’re sending us your rain tomorrow, though. . . and for the weekend. Gee, thanks! D. 
Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/10 at 10:27 AM
I used to lay out in the sun 2 hours a day when I was in my teens. I lived for it. I’d get a book and get up on the roof of our house! I had a small skin cancer removed from my upper left arm when I was 39. Now I wear sun block religiously. I’m really surprised I don’t look like a prune now. Though whenever I’m having a bad day I still get the urger to just go lay in the sun! That report a few years ago that came out saying laying in the sun could be addictive was proof of what I already knew! LOL....
Lori
Posted by Plinkette on 04/10 at 11:58 AM
Lori,
I loved how the ColorMark worked. I think my problem when I tried it was in the way I applied it. I’m not very talented in doing anything with my hair. I ordered a shade too light but that was my fault. It still covered up the gray and lasted until I washed my hair. Plan to use it this weekend when I see out of town family. Now if I could lose 20 lbs. before Sat. it would be even better!
Karen
Posted by karen on 04/10 at 04:08 PM
I tried my ColorMark today and it worked really well at covering the gray. I probably ordered one shade too dark, though it still looked fine.
It seems to be a really good product!
It was really strange to hide the gray. I kinda missed seeing it. :o)
Posted by greeneyes on 04/10 at 05:35 PM
Hey, Greeneyes—betcha never thought you’d say THAT!
Glad you guys like it. D.
Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/10 at 07:43 PM
That’s the truth, Diana!
It really is amazing how our mindset affects every area of our lives. When I was dyeing my hair, I was disgusted by seeing those “ugly” white roots. Now that I am going natural, I am cheering them on! In fact, at times, I wish I had more white than I seem to have. But I have decided I will embrace whatever color I have, knowing it will be ever-changing as time passes.
Yesterday, after I applied the ColorMark, I felt like I was betraying my white “friends.” Here they were just getting used to fresh air and I covered them yet again. :o) I will let them shine today, though.
All that craziness to say this...I have really changed my mind about gray, white, silver, etc...colored hair. And I belive our choices really will affect how others think about it too. I believe my 20 year old daughter will feel she has more choices than I felt like I had when I decided to color my hair. It’s a good thing!
Posted by greeneyes on 04/11 at 07:30 AM
Hi everybody,
I did it! Yesterday, after five months of haircuts, I got the last of my dyed hair cut off. I am so happy to be done with that process. I am also very happy with my hair. A few tips for newbies:
Do get your hair cut as short as you can stand, even before you stop dyeing it.
Treat your new growth royally. Moisturize it. Avoid hot hairdryers and too much sun.
Take vitamins especially formulated for hair and skin.
Enjoy buying new hats, earrings, clothes that match your new coloring.
Visit this site whenever you start feeling panicky.
Posted by katydot on 04/12 at 04:17 PM
Yay Katydot—good for you!! You’re through—you did it! A little graduation music, please. Of course, now we want to see a picture. And I hope you’ll still come back and visit this site—to chat and share your tips. Or talk about your new “adventures” as a silver fox. This is a true community of friends. D.
Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/12 at 04:51 PM
Hello Katydot!
Appreciate the good advice. I see my colorist/stylist this Tuesday with 7 weeks since last red dye color and I am getting ready to formulate my plan with her. I picked a style that will cut about 6 inches off hoping to get me started in the right direction. I think that’s the most i can go first haircut. Who knows though..once I get there, I might just opt for more!
Posted by Shara on 04/12 at 07:29 PM
Hi all,
Well, I am eight months into growing my colour out and am going to my stylist Friday to see about getting all the dyed colour cut off. I think this will mean a layered cut quite a bit shorter than I’m used to, but I’m dying (pun intended) to see my natural hair colour all over.
Like you, Shara, I wasn’t ready to do much more than a trim until now, so be patient with yourself; you’ll know if and when you’re ready for a bigger chop!
Posted by newbie2 on 04/13 at 06:30 AM
Thanks newbie2 for your thoughts. Let us know how it goes with your stylist and maybe send a photo to Diana.
Posted by Shara on 04/13 at 07:18 AM
Hi Shara,
I am now in the newbie section so you can see how I look currently, and I will definitely send a pic in to Diana when I get “the cut”.
Lisa
Posted by newbie2 on 04/13 at 07:23 AM
Hello to all,
I am so glad and excited to read your comments. I am doing it!
No more wishing to do it: this time, it’s happening!
I am 34, greying since age 9. Natural black hair and my six week-old roots are revealing I have white hair (99,9% white) only on a 6 inch strip on top of my head. My hair is mid-back length. So...what to do? The buzz-cut?...I am seriously considering it. I guess I should send pictures to the newbies section first…
My hair being jet black I am scared of the skunk look due to how my white hair is located...I have looked for pictures of woman with natural white hair patches and found none…
Thanks to all and excuse the poor quality of my English, it is my second language
Posted by gardenmimine on 04/15 at 12:14 PM
gardenmimine,
I’m no expert but my opinion is that once you transition a 6” swath of white on top will be absolutely beautiful. If mine had ever come in in a stripe, I don’t think I would have colored. If you watch “What Not to Wear” look at Stacey’s hair - it is more narrow than your’s but her stripe is stunning.
karen
Posted by karen on 04/15 at 01:12 PM
Hi Gardenmimine—Welcome to the Café! You sound like a “preemie” for sure, since you were graying since the age of 9. There’s a section here for preemies, too. But let me try to understand—you say you ONLY have a 6” white streak on the top of your head. Any signs of gray anyplace else? Your temples? Your hairline? Little stragglers anywhere? If not, what you could have is vitiligo. You can read about it in the book, but to boil it down—vitiligo is a white streak caused by depigmentation of the skin. Skin is on your scalp, too, obviously, and eventually hair follicles succumb to the same depigmentation.
I had a friend in high school who had a fabulous white streak in the front of her dark hair, but she was NOT “going gray.” If this is what you have, and I stress IF, you will always have the “skunk stripe”—even when the white streak goes down the full length of your hair. Even if you do the buzz cut—your white streak will only be THERE.
Your best bet might be to go to a dermatologist (since vitiligo is a skin condition, characterized first by milky-white patches on the skin.) Just to make sure.
I’m glad you’re excited about jumping in, and I love your determination, but I wouldn’t want you to be disappointed with the results. Now, if you show signs of graying elsewhere, you may just have a fabulous white “streak,” but other parts of your hair will come in at various shades of gray or silver, due both to the level of pigment still in the follicle, and also in contrast to your jet black hair. It may look silver or gray, but it’s picking up some reflection from the black. So you’ll have an uneven look, naturally “highlighted” by your fabulous white streak. That’s not unusual—in fact, it’s part of the way gray hair “evolves,” part of its fascination.
Let’s just make sure that all your gray isn’t confined to one 6” streak! And, please, do send in those pics! D.
Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/15 at 01:31 PM
Thanks for your concern
I do have a few other whites here and there so it is not vitiligo. It is, like you so nicely say it, a fabulous white streak. I will put some lipstick on and send pictures.
Thanks again, you are so nice.
The fabulous just about to get more fabulous
GardenMimine
Posted by gardenmimine on 04/15 at 01:44 PM
Hi! Well I had a rude awakening Friday morning....we felt the earthquake! that was unnerving enough, but the aftershock later in the morning was even more unnerving. I felt it more and heard everything rattling! Anyone else feel it?
I went to my local milk Store a local dairy store here,, and the lady working had the most gourgious silver hair. She appeared to be in her mid to late 40’s. I gaven her the web address for this iste and told her about it. She wrote it all down. She said when she went gray she just cut her hair super short. She is a very atteactive petite women so she probably looked great. Her hair is shoulder length now.
Itook some more pictures of my roots I’ll get them to Diana to add to the Newbie site with my other pics.
Posted by Plinkette on 04/20 at 06:42 PM
Page 3 of 9 pages « First < 1 2 3 4 5 > Last »
Back to Cafe Gray