Café Gray

Playing the waiting game?

Going through “transitioning?” What are your tricks? Your treats? Once you get into it, it’s not much of a process at all. The dead of winter is a perfect time to start, especially if you’re in a climate where you wear hats, scarves, and other hair-hiders.  Here’s the strategy: In January, cut your hair short, wear all the hats you want all winter, hibernate if you like, and by spring, your hair will be a bit longer. Get a choppy, modern cut to see you through summer. By June, you will have 6 months of gray grow-in, you won’t be bothered with ends of a different color, and you’ll be able to tell if you like the “new” you. That’s the time to consider if you want to “adjust” it a bit with highlighting, lowlighting, glazing, or any other professional service. But you’ll know what you’re dealing with, and you’ll be well on your way to being a great gray!

Posted by Diana Jewell on 12/12 at 07:02 AM

Ok I found the picture...y’all look great!

Posted by Plinkette on 02/21 at 08:53 AM

Anyone use Roux Fanci-Full Rinse temporary hair color while they were transitioning? Does it really wash out without staining the hair?

Lori

Posted by Plinkette on 03/06 at 07:09 PM

LOL .... I just read your postabout Roux...I’m getting over bronchitis...and not comprehending what I am reading…

Lori

Posted by Plinkette on 03/06 at 07:14 PM

I use Roux Fanciful (fawn) daily on dry hair. I use a cotton pad and apply to the gray. It does not stain because it is a temporary color. I only use it on the gray hair that is visible. It takes the edge off the new growth and hennaed stained hair.

I do this for work so that coworkers aren’t starring at my new growth. ha I’ve never had a problem with it staining. Only with henna! I thought henna was temporary and it is not! Roux makes a Fanciful Mousse spray which might be easier to use. I think Sally’s Beauty Supply might carry Roux. Walgreens has Roux.

I continue to get monthly haircuts with an inch or two cut off. I had waist length hair previously. Now it is a bit below my shoulders. I’m not a short hair person so this fits my comfort level.

What keeps me going is that my hair was gray before the henna mistake!.  The Roux I use helps minimize the contrast between gray and old color. Just cover your hair in the rain!

Posted by Summer on 03/07 at 01:59 AM

Boy—you guys are so clever at hiding your roots!  It’s like you do what you can to get through. Seems co-workers motivate this, nobody wants to be stared at in the office. Or maybe, as Carol did, it’s for special occasions when you want to feel really good and root-free! 

Streaks & Tips is a little like spray paint. Yes, good for instant camouflage, but drying on a regular basis. Roux has been around forever and at least has some level of conditioning in it. You know, there are shades that can even brighten your gray (once it comes in)—shades like Ultra White Minx or True Steel. This is always a fun refresher course—until you wash your hair!

Summer—you should have a pretty healthy grow-out by now, no?  What, about 5-6 inches? You Roux it all the way down? Admire your dedication—and your creativity in finding a solution that works for YOU. You’ve got great stick-to-itivess. Stay out of the rain. . . very funny! LOL

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/07 at 05:53 AM

I love reading these inspiring stories. I’ve been graying (and coloring) since I turned 30, and I’ll be 48 this month. After a couple of hairdresser appointments scheduled a week later than the usual every three had me painting my roots with eyeshadow (!), I finally decided I’d had enough. I didn’t want to go through the long grow-out phase and decided to cut it as short as I could stand. Fearing my hairdresser wouldn’t want to cut my shoulder-length curly colored and highlighted hair (all that work!), I bought a nice wig and determined to shave my head if necessary. Fortunately, she did it-- and did a wonderful job. I love the short hair-- wow, all this free time in the mornings-- and the so-far “salt-and-pepper” color. I’m getting many compliments on the style and color, as well as remarks about my “bravery.” (Not sure about that-- I work with cancer patients, who epitomize this, and who have inspired my decision as well). I look forward to the continued evolution, love Diana’s book, and appreciate this site!  grin

Posted by Runner on 03/09 at 07:40 PM

Hi Runner—a big welcome to the Café! Your comments are great. You know, I finally cut my hair reeeeely short, after months of achieving a nice white all around the front (alas, not the back!), and I know so well that “freedom-feeling.” AND all the time saved in the mornings, after shampooing, and after swimming. It’s absolutely liberating.  Part of the fun of the adventure, because it’s something we probably wouldn’t have done if we hadn’t wanted a more consistent color. (Very funny about using eyeshadow! Eyeshadow????) Would love to see a pic of you!  And thanks for reminding us that there’s bravery. . . and then there’s real bravery!

You know, I put the Going Bald, Looking Great? posting in here because I was hoping to hear from more women who had faced and triumphed over chemo-induced loss of hair, and the sometimes surprising gray-growth that comes in, but so far we’ve only gotten one posting from a gal who has. Maybe your patients would be interested in sharing their stories? We’re all going through our own “journeys” here, whether by choice or chance, but cancer is undeniably the biggest journey a woman faces. Keep up the good work!  Best, D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/10 at 03:29 AM

Hi ladies & Diana,
I love reading all the great ideas on transitioning. I am so looking forward to doing that myself. I see that I need to start by lightening up my hair all over. Right now it’s darker than it’s been in years. I’ve also noticed that my new hair is actually a much brighter white color than before. This site is so inspirational and how funny that I happened along today when you mention being bald?

I’m a cancer survivor and currently on chemo that doesn’t make your hair fall out. I’ve been there before though and now wished I had decided to go gray then. I will definetly use that opportunity if it should arise in the future to stop coloring my hair. If I make it that long as I’m ready now to go gray now! 
Also, Diana, I noticed your last posting was at 4am. Not sleeping huh? Kelly

Posted by Kelly on 03/10 at 08:53 AM

Hi Kelly—welcome back!!  Ladies, this is the very same gal I mentioned just above who wrote in about chemo.  It IS such a coincidence you chose to visit the Café today, Kelly!  Your new growth is now a brighter white?  Gee, that’s terrific. So why wait?  Take those darker hairs a little lighter, get a great cut, and you’d be on your way! Maybe you’ll NEVER have to have a chemo again that induces hair loss. Don’t let that determine your hair fate!  Keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you!

About the time thing—the one above was posted at 6:29 AM. (Which was about right).  Where did the 4:00 AM time appear??  Awhile back, I noticed some strange times, and when I checked something or other, I found I was posting on Pacific Time, or Asian time, or something—but I thought I corrected that! Anyway, keep visiting us Kelly, and let us know what you decide to do.  D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/10 at 11:10 AM

Hi Ladies and Diana,

Other than Shira, I was wondering if anyone has used wigs to transition during the growing out period? If so, did you feel like you could pull it off or did it feel like you were wearing a hat or did it feel completely fake?

I wanted to mention this product, since I haven’t heard anyone talk about it.  I have been using Roux’s “Tween Time” Instant Touch-Up Stick.  It’s like a crayon that can be applied to the root area.  The tip has to be moistened before applying it. Comes in about 6 different shades.  Not the best solution, but it does tone down the gray root area so it at least blends somewhat, not perfectly, with the rest of my hair.  It’s getting very old
having to do this everyday. As I have about an inch of gray root right now, I don’t know how practical it will be to continue to apply it as the new growth becomes wider.

After hearing about “Roux Fanciful”, I think I’ll give the mousse a try. Diana, before I use this product, I just wanted to make absolutely sure that it is temporary and washes right out? I’ve learned the hard way with semi.

Just an obervation and wonder if anyone else has noticed this - how many times have you seen makeovers being done on TV on women with “silver” hair and when the makeover is completed, the woman no longer has the “silver” hair but is now either a blonde or a brunette?

Diana, this site is the best!  smile

Posted by Christine on 03/14 at 06:33 AM

Hi Christine --
Well, thank you!  And welcome aboard!  Let me try to answer just a few of your questions.  First, that crayon touch-up stick.  There’s something better, a liquid that comes in 12 real hair-color shades. It’s called ColorMark. Wait ‘til April—I have a special surprise for Members, and now you’re one!  But I don’t want to “scoop” it yet.  cheese

But, you know, all these root-hiders are really for shorter roots. It IS a lot of trouble to start painting away 2-3” roots. Once your roots get to that stage, it’s better to start cutting off the darker color at the ends.  Or if you don’t want to cut, switch to a whole-head blend-in product. Like a temporary, or a demi.

Yes, Roux Fanciful washes out.  It’s temporary, not a semi. Oh goodness, don’t use semi’s!! If you have any doubts at all, and it’s natural that you’re a bit gun-shy, try it on an area in the back of your head first.

I didn’t go the wig route while transitioning, but I did try one after I transitioned, just for fun.  All I can say is, I’m glad I didn’t have to wear it every day.  In fact, I only wore it once! It was too annoying—hot, itchy at the hairline, and it gave me a headache! I couldn’t wait to rip it off! Besides, it was artificial, so it looked really phony. Maybe others have had better experiences. But hairpieces—little “crown poufs” or clip in extensions—come in handy.

Oh, when will those “makeover” gurus learn. . .?  D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/14 at 08:05 AM

Diana,

Thanks for all the information! I have used the ColorMark but seem to like the crayon better. 

Please tell us that you have come up with a product that makes transitioning alot less obvious.  I really believe more women would jump on board if there were such a product. I know you can’t reveal it right now but I’ll stay tuned!

Posted by Christine on 03/14 at 09:15 AM

Oh, would that I were coming up with a magic product! Actually, maybe in the far far future, but right now I have all I can do to keep this site active and growing! No, my surprise is something else. . .but it’s not going to get you through transitioning in one easy snap!  Sorry.  confused

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/14 at 11:06 AM

Hello Diane and everyone! I’m a newbie! I’m so excited to have found this site. I decided to go “natural” after 37 years of coloring my hair. I think it all goes back when my brother and I used to jump in my parent’s bed and my Dad would give us a tweezer to pull out every gray hair we could find! At the time I think he was in his 30’s. Do you think it gave me a negative take on going gray?!?! So here I am, feeling somewhat liberated, a little scared but ready to go! I bought your book yesterday and can’t wait for it to arrive. I currently am 3 weeks since my last color (currently a redhead). Looking at my 3 week growth, it appears sort of a charcoal with sterling highlights grin...question? At high many inches will I be looking at what my current true color will be?

Posted by Shara on 03/17 at 12:58 PM

Whoops...sorry Diana...referred to you as Diane...typo mistake.

Posted by Shara on 03/17 at 01:10 PM

Hi Shara—Glad you found us, too!!  And I LOVE your enthusiasm!  But, my goodness, trying to tell your “true” color from 3 week’s growth is a leeetle bit like tweezing out your Dad’s gray hairs!  They didn’t have a chance!  Your new growth needs a chance to express itself.  It’s so hard to tell at first, especially when it’s in contrast to the color you’ve got going on.  In fact, in that “color environment,” it may actually look darker than it’s going to.  It’s really a funny optical process—as more white/silver comes in, your red will start to look faded. But right now, your red is making the white look drabber.  Make sense?

And, of course, here’s the bad news/good news thing—as anyone who has gone gray will tell you—you’re going to be a work in progress for a long time. I don’t mean just transitioning—I mean beyond that. Graying is dynamic, because the follicles are at different stages of running out of pigment. So, even after you’re gray all over, you’ll have some areas that look whiter, some that look more charcoal, some that look more silver. I personally love that—that’s the surprise of it all! I find that much more interesting than seeing a head of hair that’s all one color, and that’s it. How boring! (And how obvious that it’s not natural!)

You’ll get a good idea of the “true” color of your new gray after about 3” of growth, but don’t expect it to stop there.  It won’t.  So hang in there, and get set for a great COLOR adventure! While you’re at it, why not send in your progress shots, and be a Newbie on our pages? Best to you, D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/17 at 02:07 PM

Thankyou Diana for your quick response and encouragement. Yes, I am excited about going through THIS “change” and will post progress shots along my journey.
Best regards, Shara

Posted by Shara on 03/17 at 04:52 PM

Hi all! Great to see all the tips here - I’m getting the book, too. I’m 45, and got my first grays at 17. I’ve colored my hair for many years, but last Fall decided I was tired of the grow-out showing every 3 weeks. My natural color (for the first half of my life!) was a dark, dark brown - my NEW natural color is about 80% white. I’m really excited about being “gray” - I personally think it’s a stunning look!

My biggest concern is the transition period. Sounds like you either have to go super-short (not my best look) or tough it out. Are there no other compromises? I haven’t colored since November, and my roots are about 3 inches now. I use a spray-on powder color when I feel like it, or else I just go out looking “odd”, kind of like a horizontal Cruella De-vil!!!  I’m a fairly confident person, but this is a bit much some days.

My hair stylist just suggested a platinum foil to help blend in the new color with the old - anyone out there tried this? There’s just such a discrepancy right now between the 80% white and the dark brown. I’m not sure if the foil process will involve bleaching, and how that will work on dyed hair. My hair is very healthy and thick, so she says it shouldn’t damage it too much - it’ll just make the transition less obvious, so I can go short-er, rather than short-short.

I’m a bit nervous, so would really appreciate your suggestions!

Posted by justjoanna on 03/20 at 01:55 PM

Hi Justjoanna—Welcome to the Café! Join me in a cappuccino, and let’s talk. I have to laugh with your “Cruella de Ville” description!  Yup.  That’s about it. But, naturally, it doesn’t HAVE to be that way with the help of a good colorist.  I assume you’ve read about your FOUR—count ‘em—four choices under transitioning.  Only Choice 4 takes gutting it out.  A colorist’s objective (and yours is on the right track) is to soften the overall color to take down that contrast.  And yes, that means bleach.  Dark hair can’t go lighter without it.

As Beth Minardi says in the book—she assumes “most brunettes who have been graying for awhile have been using something on their hair by the time they come to see me.” If the hair is healthy and in good condition, that does not preclude using bleach.  But there’s bleach, and then there’s high-powered bleach.  So to start, she recommends using a NON-AMMONIA DEMI color, (a demi has low-volume peroxide) lighter than the shade you’ve been using, to cover and blend the gray. Next, she would soften the color of selected strands around the face. This process would continue for 3-4 visits, until your hair evolves into a softer brown with silvery strands around the face. Your hair will continue to gray and grow out, you should have periodic “trims,” (not short chops), and evenutally you’ll get there.

Good-bye, Cruella!  Hello, a look you can live with.  Why not discuss this with your colorist, and see what she says?  Keep us posted!  D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/20 at 03:00 PM

Hmmm...after I just wrote that my roots are 3 inches now, I just had to check it out. I got out the tape measure, and I’m only at 1 and a half inches...sigh. Apparently, it just LOOKS like 3 inches (that black/white effect I guess.)

Posted by justjoanna on 03/20 at 03:05 PM

Or wishful thinking!!!  wink

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/20 at 03:09 PM

Thank you all so much for taking the time to post.  I’m new, this is my first post in the cafe. I started going gray and coloring in my early 20’s & have been coloring for 30 yrs. I’m 54 now and decided to try to begin the graying process.  I have 6 wks of growth and got lowlights 2wks. ago.  The stripe is beginning to drive me crazy & I feel very self conscious.  It seems my reading all your posts maybe going with a color lighter than my dark brown/auburn would help with the transition.  What ideas do you have? I’m about 80/90% gray so my stripe is really beginning to show.  Being able to read these posts is so very supportive!
Thank you,
Karen

Posted by karen on 03/30 at 03:25 PM

Hi again—Just thought of one more place to check out in the Café—go to Here’s to a Great ‘08.  There’s some good chat there about the first scary steps. The transitioning period is NOT everybody’s favorite time, let’s be honest here. But there are all sorts of ways to get through it, dignity intact, as you’re finding out. Your idea of blending with a shade a little lighter than your dark brown/auburn hair is in line with “pro” thinking to soften the contrast.  Your grays will appear as subtle highlights.  But I wouldn’t do it two weeks after you’ve had lowlights put in. Wait a bit, if you can stand to. You’ve been coloring for 30 years. Your hair might need a little r&r;.  Just hang in there, and I know you’ll get lots of support here!  D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/30 at 08:13 PM

Hi Karen, this website is such a blessing!! I have found so much support, information, and encouragement to keep going through this phase of transition.  Its been 11 weeks since I last dyed my hair, and the skunk stripe is growing.  I did try highlights, but I was not prepared to be so blond, so that did not work for me, though the overall color does look lighter and the contrast between the white/silver growth and dark hair is not so marked.  I ended up going for a short pixie cut which should shorten the transition time.  You did not mention how long your hair is.  If you don’t mind it short, that may help, my stylist cut it so that I brush it forward, and that tends to cover the stripe a little, and it is not so prominent. Transition is hard, no doubt, but I guess if we focus on the end result, it is worth sticking it out.

Posted by pam40 on 03/30 at 11:47 PM

Thank you both so much.  My hair is chin length when straightened and about to my ears when left curly so I do have a little bit of length to work with.  Another thing that I think may help is that I live near the beach.  If I don’t color, my hair will fade quickly if I don’t wear a hat like I usually do when in the sun.  Then before the summer sun, I can get it cut - don’t want a skunk stripe and a white neck one. Can’t imagine what that would look like!!!

Posted by karen on 03/31 at 02:20 AM

Hi everyone! I’m brand new to this site. Diana, I read your book last year, I borrowed it from the library. I was so tired of going to the hairdresser’s to color my hair. I felt like it was too much maintenance, too expensive, and drying out my hair too much. So, after reading your book, I stopped the coloring and after two months got a super-short cut. A couple of months of growth later and all of the previous color was cut off. That wasn’t too painful for me for a couple of reasons. First, I don’t have a lot of gray, maybe 15% - and my dyed hair wasn’t too, too different from my natural color which is a dark blonde/light brown. So the roots weren’t a shocking contrast. And secondly, I used to always wear my hair pixie-short, so I knew that was a look I could carry off.

Now I’ve had my “virgin” color for a year and a half. I wear it in a chin length bob. The grays are increasing slowly and I want to allow them to grow in naturally. Has anyone else here done that? Seems as if most of the discussions are about coloring the hair until there’s lots of gray and then making the transition. My hair is very healthy, fine and still predominantly a dark blonde/light brown. The gray is sprinkled throughout - kind of looks like shiny highlights, but only from a distance!! I don’t want a drab stage, but perhaps there’s no avoiding it?

Because I wanted my own, updated copy to refer to, I ordered your book from this site last week. (Great, fast service, by the way.) I’m having some trouble locating good shampoos and conditioners with ceramides for my fine hair. Any brand name suggestions other than Kerastase Nutri-liss, which I can’t find? Also, is it too soon to use a violet-based shampoo like White Violet by L’Oreal? I do have well water, so I’m wondering if there’s some mineral build-up. But, because of my previous experience with damage from color, I’m leary of anything that might damage it now, since it’s so healthy. Funny, I just want to fast-forward the whole process!

Any advice? TIA!

Posted by Barb on 03/31 at 04:08 AM

Oops - Sorry, Diana, I just found your many pages of brand name suggestions in the book. I’ll check some of those out. I tend to avoid sulphate shampoos since I feel like they’re too harsh and drying for my natural curls…

By the way, Diana, you might want to check out the over-40 forum or the coloring your hair forum on http://www.naturallycurly.com.  There tends to be frequent talk about whether or when or how to go gray. Fun site.

Posted by Barb on 03/31 at 04:19 AM

Hey, Karen, I wanted to respond to your first post. I, too, am dealing with the adorable stripe. I haven’t colored since late November, and my grow-in is brilliant white, while my old colored hair is dark brown - mmm, yummy-licious - NOT!!

I wanted to let you know about a great product by Bumble & Bumble called Colored Spray Powder - I got it from my stylist. I refer to it as my “spray paint” but it works like a hairspray, comes in different colors, and washes completely out. I use the brown. Only downside is it also comes off on your pillowcase, but hey - at least it helps cover up the stripe!

I haven’t heard from anyone with dark hair and who is more than 50% gray who has tried bleaching/foiling in a platinum/silver on the colored part, to blend the dark hair with the white roots. I just don’t want to color my roots anymore, so don’t want to deal with a transition that involves coloring my “new natural” color (white!).

I’m getting the foils done next week, and will let y’all know how it works!

Posted by justjoanna on 03/31 at 08:37 AM

Omigoodness—so many things to talk about!  I gotta respond one at a time here.  Ok, Joanna, since you’re the one just above, you’re first.  I loved the yummy-licious!  NOT!  And thanks for letting us know about the b&b;Colored Spray Powder.  Yeah, powder rubs off.  Like blusher on your cheeks. But sometimes, it’s worth it, no?

Hey, you’ve heard from ME about bleaching/foiling dark hair.  Did you go look at the Silverizing story?  That remaining dark hair of mine turned blonde. It doesn’t come all the way up to white. Now, that’s going to create a softer effect to blend with your white roots, so you will have LESS contrast.  The thing about yellow though, you lose the “cool” silvery effect of your hair. Blue molecules are what give it that, bleach takes the blue out.  However, you don’t have a lot of icy white or silver yet anyway, maybe—what—2 inches or so? And if you’re just trying to keep the skunk stripe less noticeable, it’s certainly something to try.

Foiling is always good because, by definition, it doesn’t go near the roots. And highlighting will diffuse the contrast.  I understand your hesitation about blending the roots, but that’s where the “skunk” comes from. If you ever do consider blending them in, your best bet is a demi shade in a dark ash blonde.  Not an ash brown or your hair will turn black. You always have to go for a shade lighter than your normal color. But that’s just another way to do it.

Would LOVE to see pics of you as you go through this process!  D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/31 at 09:14 AM

OK—now Barb.  Welcome to the Café! Boy, sounds like you just whizzed through transitioning.  But as you say your hair is just about 15% white, uh, you’re still a work in progress. As more and more comes in, you may begin to feel a little blah (sorry to say)—that’s because the white is beginning to take over, but you’ve still got the sandy dark blonde/light brown thing going on. Imagine mixing sugar with sand. It dilutes the shade. Sooner or later, when the whites really start taking over, the hair suddenly “springs back” to life. But right now, they’re sort of in a power struggle with your natural color.  Just be glad those whites of yours are sparkling—nature’s own “highlights.” If you keep that sparkle, I don’t think you’ll ever feel drab. Keep moisturizing well, keep “feeding” your head, and your hair will continue to stay healthy.

It may be too early to try a “blue shampoo,” but go ahead. It tends to “crisp up” the color a little. (NO, it doesn’t turn it blue!) Don’t worry about these—they’re fine to use. But only use them once a month or so.  They can be drying. Don’t even bother getting the coordinating conditioner—they’re not worth it. Just use your normal conditioner on your hair.  It won’t un-do the effect.  Since you have lots of minerals in your water, though, I might suggest you try a good clarifying shampoo first. One that really gets out the gunk.  Again, not to use on a regular basis, but you might notice a difference in the sparkle and shine of your hair.  Maybe even in the color—see the “green meanies” section of the book, or even here on the site under FAQ’s or Care and Treatment.

PS—Thanks for getting your very OWN copy of the book!  smile And thanks for the link to naturallycurly.com. I hope you go there and blog in about our site, too. (It’s a little presumptuous, coming from me.) But, as you know, the book has a whole section in it about curly hair/gray hair, so it could be helpful to these gals.  And one of these days, on this site, I think we’ll have to feature some of our best curlyheads. I’ve had some requests already.  D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/31 at 09:44 AM

Diana, do you know if anyone in the St. Louis, Mo area does the Silverizing? If not, how about in Atlanta?

On the hard water note, if you have hard water or use a lot of products, once a month or so mix one table spoon of baking soda to a cup of warm water. After you’ve wet your hair in the shower, pour it on and work it through and then apply shampoo while it is still in the hair and rinse. It will remove all kind of build up and doesn’t hurt the hair.

Lori

Posted by Plinkette on 03/31 at 02:54 PM

Diana - I did put a post about this website in the over-4o column on naturallycurly.com!  In the first response, someone said that if she could have beautiful gray hair like the ladies on this site, she’d stop dyeing today! I suspect there will be some lurkers around!

Posted by Barb on 04/01 at 02:53 AM

Thanks, Barb!!  You know, isn’t that always the excuse?  “If mine would be like yours. . .” I always say—how do you know it won’t be? You never know unless you try it! Although there can be any number of reasons why women don’t make the leap, I think fear enters into it, too. As everyone here knows—it takes a little guts to do this.

Yes, we have lovely lurkers. They’re always welcome.  Oh, and for those of you who think this sounds sinister, it’s not.  In web-talk, lurkers are really visitors to the site who are “just looking, thanks.” cool smile

Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/01 at 05:48 AM

One more day down!  I’m trying to tell people that I’m letting my gray grow out in hopes it will keep me accountable and that maybe someone will support me out in the real world.

What does anyone think about the possibility that as I get out in the sun (with sunscreen) that it would help my color fade out more quickly?  Also, how long after lowlights should I wait to try for just a very few highlights to get it closer to my roots?

Thanks

Posted by karen on 04/01 at 10:11 AM

Hi Karen!  I am Susan, 42 and dyeing my hair since I was 23/4.  I went cold turkey about 7 years ago, but the stud muffin thought I was too young yet (read he was too young!!) but I am going cold turkey again; and like you, I have been telling people what I am doing to give me courage...it’s amusing though, I think I have an idea what it must be like to have impressive boobs; because people talk to my stripe not to me!!  I keep wanting to say; hey; the face is down here!!!  I am sending some photos to Diana to document my ‘progress’.  Each hair cut I go a little shorter, and that seems to minimize how much stripe is showing.  The color keeps fading too.  The next hair cut should be quite significant as I am pretty much half & half right now.  about 2 inches white; 2 inches dyed.  I really haven’t bothered too much with concealing it because I just don’t have the time, and I work in a nursing home, and they just want someone to be nice to them, they don’t care what my hair looks like.  I bet if I was in a more “professional” enviroment, I would be putting a lot more effort into concealing…

Posted by suzy2u on 04/01 at 11:15 AM

Thanks for answering so quickly.  I feel like if I just address it with people I know, they won’t stare and wonder what to say.  I told my brother last night and he just didn’t speak - he’s 3 yrs. younger than me and has been gray for about 25 yrs.  I work at a church so come in contact with lots of people every week.  That’s why I am addressing it up front.  I’m thinking about just letting it fade with regular trims.  Not sure if I’ll go completely short yet.....actually not sure at all what I’ll do yet.

Posted by karen on 04/01 at 11:25 AM

Hey Karen and Susan - I’m right there with you! My name’s Joanna, I’m 46 and going from brunette (former natural color) to white (new natural color!). Don’t you feel like you’re in AA or something with that kind of introduction - “Hi, my name’s Joanna, and I’m going gray.” Ha!

It seems like we feel way more self-conscious about our hair color than about things like wearing braces or being overweight. I keep telling myself I just need to “get over it already” but it is hard, especially if you go to the shopping mall where people seem so put together.

But that’s the purpose of this cafe’, right? To kind of hold each other’s hand through the transition process. I’m convinced we’re going to look stunning on the other side - I’ve been noticing SO many gorgeous gray-haired ladies around here, and I always complement them on their hair.  grin

Slowly but surely, we’re gonna make it through this! Which, in the big scheme of things, isn’t all that big of a deal, really.

Posted by justjoanna on 04/01 at 02:24 PM

Oh, Justjoanna—LOL about AA!  LOL If we have our “reunion,” that’s what we’re gonna have to do—all go around the room and introduce ourselves like that! Oh, by then we’ll be a “recovering” gray, because we will have gotten through to the other side!  Your attitude is so right—there ARE worse things.  You brought up braces—hey, what about acne?  But, seriously, as women we know there are truly lots worse things.  All I can say to everybody is keep holding hands here—and TRY to enjoy the journey.  Use this time to think about other things—like revamping your makeup or your colors. Be creative, investigate! Don’t keep looking at your roots! Be your normal bright, shiny selves—because that’s who people think you are. If a stranger stares at your roots, let them! You won’t see them again, anyway.  It’s friends that count—true, good friends who will support you through this. And if they think you’re crazy—wait ‘til they see the NEW You!! D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/01 at 03:02 PM

It’s strange that you just posted this Diana.  Earlier this afternoon I emailed my high school friends who I get together with regularly to tell them of my decision and get their support.  You’re right, we won’t see the strangers anymore.  Maybe for work, I’ll wear a badge that says, “No, I haven’t forgotten, it’s a choice:”

There are lots of things worse, one of the reasons I decided to start now is that my Dad was diagnosed in Oct. with terminal cancer.  I’m not sure how much longer I’ll actually have the time or $$ to color because of the high gas prices and I travel 3.5 hours one way every 3 weeks to see him.  However, onward and upward - he’s not supposed to still be here and is able to drive short distances, go to church and even with a feeding tube can eat small amounts now.  My gray hair is nothing!!  It’s just really hard to remember that when looking in a mirror.

Everyone here, thanks for your encouragement.  We can all get through this together.  Count me in on the “reunion”.

Posted by karen on 04/01 at 03:13 PM

YEAH!!! Just received notice that my book is due to arrive on Friday.  Can’t wait!

Posted by karen on 04/02 at 03:24 AM

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