Playing the waiting game?
Going through “transitioning?” What are your tricks? Your treats? Once you get into it, it’s not much of a process at all. The dead of winter is a perfect time to start, especially if you’re in a climate where you wear hats, scarves, and other hair-hiders. Here’s the strategy: In January, cut your hair short, wear all the hats you want all winter, hibernate if you like, and by spring, your hair will be a bit longer. Get a choppy, modern cut to see you through summer. By June, you will have 6 months of gray grow-in, you won’t be bothered with ends of a different color, and you’ll be able to tell if you like the “new” you. That’s the time to consider if you want to “adjust” it a bit with highlighting, lowlighting, glazing, or any other professional service. But you’ll know what you’re dealing with, and you’ll be well on your way to being a great gray!
Posted by Diana Jewell on 12/12 at 07:02 AM
thanks..i go for the easy...i have been blessed with hair that falls into place nicely...let’s see how the salt and pepper do now..since ther is a difference in texture for sure!!
how is the dust going in the kitchen?? any falling on the top of your silvery head??
vegas this last weekend had lots of “grays” some looked great some not so great...but that’s vegas for sure..and then mixed with all that smoke… 
...even though “what happens in vegas stays in vegas!!"… was just great being with old pals and doing all that laughing!!
louann
Posted by lainla3 on 10/28 at 10:35 AM
I promised myself I would go back to my gray hair when I got to my ‘goal weight’. Well I’m there and now I’m nervous. I colored my hair, myself, two years ago and I liked it. Lately, I have felt that the color is too harsh for my face; even though I have a young face. My hair is short but I feel very vain about letting the gray grow in. I work full time and I cannot walk around in hats all day. Can I get a little support from my sisters here?
Posted by graytgrey on 11/05 at 10:26 AM
heatherbowes- Yes! You CAN get a little support here. In fact, I dare say you can get a lot! :o)
Congratulations on reaching your goal weight! And now, congrats on getting ready to journey back to your natural colors. Send in your photos and join the newbies, and get ready for all of the support you will need.
Posted by greeneyes on 11/05 at 10:46 AM
thank you g. I do appreciate this. I will get photos going and send them in. h
Posted by graytgrey on 11/05 at 10:51 AM
Hi Heather,
When I decided to stop coloring, it was very scary. I also have a young face and it’s scary to think you can go from comments like, “are you a student here” (I’m 37) to “hello Maam, can you help me?”. What motivated me was seeing what my hair actually looked like, since I had been coloring for 11 years. Once I told my friends and family I felt much better. They were very supportive. Also, knowing that if I decided I didn’t like it that I could go back to dye was a nice safety net. I am now 10 months without dye and you can see a lot in the crown area and a little on the sides. I am more comfortable with it than I expected and I actually don’t think about it half as much as I did when I was making the initial decision. And so far, no “maam” comments. 
I think you need to make up your own mind as to if and when you want to do it. You shouldn’t feel pressured either way. It’s kind of like changing your diet or starting an exercise routine. Whatever you choose as long as you are happy.
Posted by ladygrey on 11/05 at 10:53 AM
Hi L. Thank you for the support. I don’t feel pressured. I promised myself, no one else. I’m 52, not 37; but I have had grays since I was in my teens. It wasn’t a big deal but when I became ill 4 years ago I needed to change SOMETHING; have control over SOMETHING! What I chose was to color my gray hair. Ugh. I have been telling friends and they are supportive; I’m feeling self conscious about it. Did you?
Posted by graytgrey on 11/05 at 10:59 AM
Hi Heather,
I’m glad you don’t feel pressured. 
I also understand the need to control something...I felt that after I separated from my first husband and changed my diet and exercise and lost 40 pounds.
I did feel very self conscious at first (with not dyeing) and was sure everyone was looking at my head...lol...but that’s faded and it’s really not such a big deal, and I am not thinking about it in a stressful way, but when I do catch myself in the mirror it’s interesting to see the changes, but the important thing is, I’m still me...no matter what my hair looks like.
Posted by ladygrey on 11/05 at 11:12 AM
hi heather
you have to WANT this for yourself...when i first made the decision i had friends and family who were almost mad at me!! why would you do this you are going to look sooo old..bla bla...it really made me even MORE determined to say “oh really??? what are you so afraid of??”...i figured out that really they just don’t want to go there and so that was their initial reaction...the whole transition process gives everyone time to get used to the idea and besides my neices (who are in my age bracket ..i am 53) all reactions have been so positive...even to the point where my co worker is doing the same thing!!! she is tired of the dye also.... i think the whole change thing is sooo much fun!! new make up new wardrobe...etc etc..hang in there but i can not say it enough YOU have to want it no matter what...(you already know you can go back to the dye !!)
oh and by the way ....welcome!!! 
louann
Posted by lainla3 on 11/05 at 11:34 AM
Welcome, Heather! You’ve come to the right place for support, that’s for sure. Want to address two points you made—
First, feeling vain about letting the gray grow in. Vain is good. We’re all a little vain, or we wouldn’t continue to keep up “appearances.” I was talking to Carmine Minardi today (co-owner of the Minardi Salon in NYC, who was such a help with all the styles in my book.) He said “The decision to go gray is a decision for elegance. Women who go gray without keeping themselves up, staying fit, looking good, are the ones who have made the decision to let themselves go.” Well, that’s not US! Not any of us.
Secondly, nooooo you can’t walk abound with a hat at work. But there are so many tricks of the trade. Trying a zigzag part. Using a root cover up (good for the first 6 weeks or so.) Some women, unfortunately, have stained their hair with some root cover-ups. But a good one, like ColorMark, available in true salon shades, WASHES OUT. Layers in the hair work to confuse the eye. And finally, headbands can hide as much or as little of your roots as you want. Go check some out in the Fashion Finds section ("Your hair can be your greatest accessory.") I also found, after about 3 months or so, sweeping my hair back at the sides was a great way to showcase the silvers coming in around my face. You can see a pic of that look in Transitioning, Choice 4. I no longer cared what the back of my hair was doing, as long as the front looked ok. If your hair is not long enough to do this, you can stick in little side combs, clamps, or barrettes. It’s kind of fun to switch your hairstyle around, anyway. Part of the “new you” you’ll become.
If you feel your current hair color is too harsh around your face, you can always work in highlights, too, to soften the look and get you easily through transition.
So you WILL get through this “graycefully.” Especially with shorter hair. We would love to see your pics! 
Posted by Diana Jewell on 11/05 at 11:45 AM
thank you all for your comments; great, just great. i feel so much more supported now. i don’t feel as afraid. i love the info about ‘vanity’ Diana. i also like the feeling of knowing i will get through this gracefully because i have short hair. that was so encouraging!!
thank you also to louann and ladygray. excellent and encouraging comments. i thank you all for your help. i guess i will get started; or shall i say i will get ‘finished’ with dying!!! heather
Posted by graytgrey on 11/05 at 02:49 PM
hip hip hooooo ray.....
louann
Posted by lainla3 on 11/05 at 06:19 PM
ok girls, I just told a friend today that I was growing my gray hair back in and she had a mild fit. I was so surprised. My head went to the comments I’ve read from some of you regarding how your family/friends freaked. Whoa, I did not expect that. My friend thought I would look 30 years older with my gray hair; insisting on taking a picture now and then when it is grown in so I can see the difference. I just was shocked. So, of course, I am nervous again. Geesh!!! Heather
Posted by graytgrey on 11/06 at 04:16 PM
Oh my. I always get such a kick out of comments like...You will look 30 years older! :o) What kind of thinking is that? But obviously I am also a dramatic soul, so I think some people just go into complete shock over the idea of gray hair, and bless their hearts, they just cannot help themselves. hee hee hee…
My suggestion...go to the newbies graduate gallery and have a look. These ladies do NOT look 30 years older.
I also found a page on a website by another woman who wrote a book on going gray. I have read articles about her, but have not read her book. (Diana’s book was so good, I never got around to buying Anne Kreamer’s book.) But I found this link interesting. Be sure to read the info before you look at the pictures. The whole deal is that going gray didn’t make people look 30 years older! Go have a look!
http://www.annekreamer.com/book_photos_test.html
Posted by greeneyes on 11/06 at 05:34 PM
Heather—friends can be unpredictable, one way or the other. Even if they do have your best interests at heart, there may be other motivating factors. I cover this is the book. But “30 years” is MORE than an overreaction!!
I think it’s better to show real pictures of women as they are going through the process, so I suggest, along with the Newbies Graduates Gallery that Greeneyes suggested, you show your friend the Newbies First and Second Semester shots. It’s interesting to see the transition as it is happening, and see what happens to the eyes, the skintone, the way the face seems to come out from hiding under all that dye. It’s helpful to see that, in the end, no one has aged 30 years, or even 10. In fact, many actually look younger and more vibrant with their natural color. Whatever it may be—whether it’s white, or silver, pewter, or ash.
Your friend might have a more receptive attitude towards it, but the most important thing is that YOU do. After all, it’s your hair! I wouldn’t rush into making this decision. Let it go—and grow in—a little while longer. See how much silver you actually do have. Then decide.
Posted by Diana Jewell on 11/06 at 07:41 PM
great thank you...I want to get Diana’s book. right now i am just looking on the website for help. i will look into the newbies space too. i’m sure i won’t look 30 years older, but my feelings were hurt when my dearest friend wasn’t supportive. oh well, i still want to do it. H
Posted by graytgrey on 11/07 at 04:15 PM
heather
just so you know ...today some one asked me about my “HIGHLIGHTS” i said they were GOD GIVEN !!!
i have had nothing artificial on my haid since july? unless you count the hair spray and gell i use to MAKE SURE the gray is showing!!!!
i love it!! can not wait for the real ME to shine through!!!
like i said though YOU have to want this!! i really think our friends are so afraid we will TRULY look GRAYT..they don’t know how to react...but my daughter has reminded me on a few occasions that i have opened up the door for comments BOTH negative AND positive by my CHOICE...so you have to be willing to hear what they have to say!!!..ok i am lecturing now..soooo...this is my final word ENJOY EVERY MOMENT of this transtion...just look at our friend suzanne she wore that short dress and a GREAT
head band and knocked the socks off everyone!!!
LOUANN
Posted by lainla3 on 11/07 at 06:57 PM
Nothing artificial? Ya mean the bats just grew there? (Ok, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, go see Louann in “Scare-y Silvers” under the Great Grays tab.)
But you make a good point. Once you open that door, you’re going to get all kinds of comments. You’ve got to be able to let the negative ones just roll of your back. Knowing that one day—they’ll see how great your shining silvers look!
Posted by Diana Jewell on 11/07 at 07:31 PM
I have changed my username from heatherbowes to graytgrey, ok? I thought I should protect my identity better. Isnt’ that important to do today? This is the first site I’ve been on like this; seeing my name each time made me feel a little too exposed. So, I’m buying some cute headbands and getting excited for this. My husband is thrilled! H (or graytgrey).
Posted by graytgrey on 11/08 at 10:45 AM
Posted by graytgrey on 11/08 at 10:46 AM
Hi there graytgrey! SoCalSilver here--who changed her username from grannycoed to this because searching grannycoed on-line brought up hardcore porn sites--if I can change a username that doesn’t really identify me, you sure as heck have a right to protect yourself with such a grayt new name! Buy those headbands and march on you smart graytgrey!
Big hugs!
Posted by SoCalSilver on 11/08 at 11:06 AM
yea granny coed did not want us to know her REAL occupation!! 
louann
Posted by lainla3 on 11/08 at 11:53 AM
Silly girl! 
Posted by SoCalSilver on 11/08 at 12:04 PM
YOU ALL KNOW I WAS KIDDING!!!
louann
she is a UCLA graduate after all!! 
Posted by lainla3 on 11/08 at 01:26 PM
Of course they know and I do too! Not to worry.
Posted by SoCalSilver on 11/08 at 01:42 PM
Very funny SoCal. That really made me laugh. It’s the first ‘forum’ I’ve ever been on...I didn’t realize how MUCH my name would be visible! Geesh! You all are so dear, I am having a lot of fun with you amazing grays. xo graytgrey
Posted by graytgrey on 11/08 at 02:39 PM
Hi, All!
Just thought I’d jump in. I’ve been following graytgrey’s posts and wanted to say Welcome! I’ve made it through transitioning and had similar thoughts, etc. as you. Transitioning has it challenges, but once you reach that silver destination it’s REALLY worth it!!
And to all the other SoCal girls - I fixed my email problem! So now I can get emails from this site again!
Posted by karate_mom on 11/09 at 10:22 PM
One of my tricks is cutting my hair often. My son came home for a visit and gave me a great cut. I usually cut my own so it was nice to have someone else cut it. I think my color looks a little ‘mousy’ but I’m not fretting over it. I wear nice clothes and makeup and carry myself with a good ‘tude. That’s all I need to do for now. I am looking SO forward to being gray again. Thank you all for your support through this transition. Graytgrey.
Posted by graytgrey on 11/15 at 06:27 AM
I have three main ways of coping through this transitional phase. First, I have told absolutely everyone what I am doing so at least the people I know won’t be thinking ‘damn girlfriend, you need to fix those roots.’ Gosh, I even tell total strangers! It’s like I need to explain myself before I give them an opportunity to make a snide remark. Second, I wear hats. My next updated pictures (in January after my next trim) is going to include a hat photo. Third, I keep pictures of beautiful gray-haired models at my bedside with Diana’s book and have a favorite one as wallpaper on my desktop. Every day is a day closer to fulfilling my silver dreams. Some days it seems like a long way off. I figure it will take until the end of August ‘09.
Posted by sandpinkshimmer on 12/05 at 01:21 PM
Hey, Jo-Anne (aka sandpinkshimmer)—all, very good strategies. Especially the one about my book by your bedside. How could I not love that???
But whatever it takes to get you through. And, really, I just wish everybody would realize that it does not take that long. It seems like it when you’re looking down the road. But it does get more fun as you go along. I used to love pulling my newly-white hair back at the sides, just so that was really all you could see. The rest of the hair in back was its blonde-brunette-roots shade, but little tricks like this seem to spur you on, and let you see that you’re really making some progress.
I’ll be waiting for those HAT pics!!
Posted by Diana Jewell on 12/05 at 01:36 PM
joanne
i totally get your tricks...i too shouted it from the roof tops...funny how you don’t want people thinking (what the heck is she doing to herself!!...and you will STILL get that question by the way!! 
as i did this week!!)
i just can’t do the hat or head band thing...i think it would DRAW attention since my hair is already short!!!
and i have been re reading the book...i think i will add some fav haircuts to it!!!
my son is still laughing his you know what off at me that i have this whole network of people (new friends !) that i yak with and share pics with...he does not see it like his version of “facebook” etc!!
but honestly this has made this whole process sooo much fun and EXTREMEMLY Painless!!
enjoy diana is right it really doesn’t take all that long!!
and think of the END RESULTS !!
louann
Posted by lainla3 on 12/06 at 06:25 AM
I love the post by sandpinkshimmer...that is such a great idea, “to tell everyone”. I have told my friends and I feel I must tell the people who are ‘staring’ at the roots. It’s funny to see that reaction you spoke of ‘girl, get those roots done’. I have seen that look.
This is what is so cute about a group of women who are going through the SAME thing...we share these experiences and we get to laugh about the similarities. Thank you so much for posting that!!
I am about 3/4 to 1” long now. With short hair, it almost looks like my hair is clear under the browns and blacks on top. I make sure I ‘mess’ it up a lot so I don’t get that ‘see through’ look. I continue to wear headbands..I actually bought a little package of skinny ones..very cute.
My son will be home for Christmas next week. I anticipate getting another great cut from him before he returns to school. Maybe I’ll be mostly “all in” by then. I will keep you all posted.
With all fondness...graytgrey
Posted by graytgrey on 12/06 at 06:58 AM
Thanks for the encouragment y’all (I’m a transplanted Southerner). Speaking of the South, going ‘natural’ is really is not a very popular thing to do. Where I’m from, Toronto, it is much more common. I told one neighbor (early 60’s) what I was doing and she said, “I’m going to be blond in the coffin”. But you know, I haven’t receved a single ugly remark yet. Unbelievable! I do have a bit of an acid tongue so if I do, look out (I’ll report back). I was playing around with headbands last night and they just might work. Between those and the hats, I may be able to get through this thing.
Hang tough my gray-haired lovelies!
Posted by sandpinkshimmer on 12/06 at 07:34 AM
well, i am in northern ca; but toronto...brrr! i wonder why it’s not uncommon to go grey there. i’m really excited about the change. i do not have an acid tongue but i’ve got a thick skin...but it’s comical to see people look ‘up there’. oh well, i’m not here to please them anyway. it shouldn’t take more than two more months i think. do you have short hair? i have forgotten already if you said that. i will not be able to wear hats but the head bands are fun. the company Goody has tons of fun stuff. you can find it all at Target and WalMart and the like. have fun shopping.
Posted by graytgrey on 12/06 at 10:01 AM
I too tell everyone that I am transitioning to my natural silver. Hats work great for me now that my ears are stickin’ out. I’m always asking my boyfriend...don’t your ears and head get cold? brrrrr! He has a beautiful head of pure white hair ...but he dyes it brown!
Posted by graytnw on 12/06 at 10:31 AM
For the boyfriend; to each his own. Who are we to judge him right?
For your ears; do you have a warm hat with earflaps? They are so stylish and cute today. If you live in cold weather, get one for yourself.
Have a grayt day.
Posted by graytgrey on 12/06 at 10:40 AM
Hi Graytgrey—Do you know that you can see lots of Goody headbands, barrettes, combs and clips right here? Look for them under the Fashion Finds tab. They are featured in both the “Your Hair can be your Greatest Accessory,” and “Ho-Ho-Holiday Gifts” stories. Check them out. I agree, they do have lots of fun hair accessories—AND—at pretty reasonable prices.
BTW—sandpinkshimmer (Jo-Anne) is in the Newbies 2nd Semester section. Her hair is definitely long, with great shaping around the face.
Glad things are going so well for you—DO keep us posted on your progress!
Posted by Diana Jewell on 12/06 at 01:45 PM
I tell everyone I meet that I’m finished with the dye, too. It just makes me feel better, even if it doesn’t change anything else. I’ve purchased some cute silver and gray headbands, also. I love them because they are so neutral and go with everything! And I do love wearing it back in a barrette, because it never looks more silver than when I do that. Because of my length, I still have a year to go before I gradate. Talk about playing the waiting game!
Posted by RunnerGal on 12/07 at 06:06 PM
I weighed in a gal last week who looked like she was growing in her gray, so I asked her! We squealed together about our journey. It was so cute and encouraging...for both of us. She has long hair so it will be a long journey for her too...Kudos, bravos for ALL of you who have long hair and are doing this...I commend you all. H
Posted by graytgrey on 12/08 at 05:34 AM
I have short hair (longest layer is about 4”, so that’s about 8 months of growth), and this growing process seems to be taking forever! I stopped dying my hair in early August 2008 and have just over 2” of natural color and am so excited to see what I’m going to look like, so have decided to cut all the color off next week......New Year, new me!
I mentioned the impending cut to our receptionist at work (she is 2 yrs older than I am, and does the dye & highlight thing every 4 weeks like I did).....she openly cringed, told me she isn’t sure she’ll be able to get used to me with gray hair, then turned away and said “well, you can ALWAYS dye it again...” 
I told her that the issue isn’t the color any more, it’s the style. (I want a cut that is current and fresh)
My husband, on the other had, can’t wait for me to complete my transition. He is excited about the new me, and keeps telling me how cute/gorgeous/beautiful my hair will be. He is the one who is encouraging me to get a choppy short cut!
My 23 yr old daughter just wants me to WARN her before I get “the chop”....she doesn’t like it when Mom changes anything.
Posted by Darlene on 12/25 at 04:27 AM
whoa, are you me? we have the same story!!! how odd but it sure shows us how we are ‘together’ in this world. my receptionist said, ‘you are going to look 30 years older’ before she said ‘you can always dye it again’. my husband is excited as well and i have a 23 y/o son who cuts my hair for me and is excited to see the new me.my hair is about 2-3 inches long so it hasn’t taken me long at all. i think a haircut would be fabulous for you and it would get all the little browns out so the real, gorgeous, gray “YOU” can be revealed. Good for you. Keep going Darlene. Merry, merry.
Heather
Posted by graytgrey on 12/25 at 08:34 AM
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