Going through “transitioning?” What are your tricks? Your treats? Once you get into it, it’s not much of a process at all. The dead of winter is a perfect time to start, especially if you’re in a climate where you wear hats, scarves, and other hair-hiders. Here’s the strategy: In January, cut your hair short, wear all the hats you want all winter, hibernate if you like, and by spring, your hair will be a bit longer. Get a choppy, modern cut to see you through summer. By June, you will have 6 months of gray grow-in, you won’t be bothered with ends of a different color, and you’ll be able to tell if you like the “new” you. That’s the time to consider if you want to “adjust” it a bit with highlighting, lowlighting, glazing, or any other professional service. But you’ll know what you’re dealing with, and you’ll be well on your way to being a great gray!
Posted by on 12/12 at 07:02 AM
I have recently noticed that berets are in at least here in L.A. according to LA Times. A recent article leads with “Steal the Spotlight”—I can handle that. I plan to pick one up tomorrow on my way home from school --seems like a good way to cover these “roots”—can something an inch and half long still be called “roots”? It looks more like a stripe to me!
Posted by on 01/15 at 10:07 AM
It also means you’re well on you’re way! Vive le beret! D.
Posted by on 01/15 at 09:21 PM
Hi all,
It’s nice to find a place where others are going through the same thing. It makes me feel a bit superficial to be feeling like stopping haircoloring is a big deal- given the state of the world - but it is. I turned 50 in December and used henna up to about 15 years ago, then went the semi-perm then finally started going to a colorist about 9 years ago. I decided in November to stop and can relate to the stripe thing. I used to call my hairstylist and say “stripe time”...now the stripe is more of a little cap...My original (16 year old hair color) was brown with auburn highlights. All the auburn apparently turns white and the brown to light gray. The texture is still nice and fine with lots of shine so I’m starting to get excited to see how it turns out. My 12 year old supports me as long as I call it “gray” not “white"- we all have our quirks. I’m trying to focus on eating right, eating protein,exercising and just have committed to waiting it out. I let it grow long over the last year so have enough to pull back and/or up. I think I’ll let it get to normal color to shoulder length and then cut.
A nursing friend of mine used to let me know when I was due for a color by saying “snow on the mountains”. I made sure to tell her I was stopping the coloring...she now calls me her “graying goddess”. So great to have support.
Look forward to reading what everyone writes over the next year. It is a mini-adventure, huh? Thanks for this site.
Posted by on 01/19 at 09:20 PM
Hi Thisyear (although I like your friend’s name for you—Graying Goddess!)
So your 12-year-old is comfortable with gray, huh? But not white. Oh well—at least you’ve got her support. Maybe she’d even be more excited about it if you called your hair Silver, Ice, Pearl, Sterling? It’s all just semantics, but I don’t think blondes should corner the market on good names!
A lot of women talk about stripes. Some say it’s a halo-effect. And now you’re noticing a cap. Yup, it sure spreads out. I’m glad it’s soft and shiny—that’s half the battle. One thing—the notion that your auburn is coming in white and your brown is coming in gray is really an optical illusion. Hair that has lost its pigment has no color at all. (In fact, the hair shaft IS colorless, it’s the pigment that shines through it that gives it color.) When it loses its pigment, it appears white or gray in contrast to the deeper (or lighter) tonalities surrounding it. None of this makes a great deal of difference when you see yourself “going gray,” but it’s just kind of interesting. You’ve got the right attitude—it IS an adventure! Have fun with it, and please keep us posted on your progress. And you’re more than welcome for this site—I love hearing from all of you, too, because I think we all help each other. Diana
Posted by on 01/19 at 10:27 PM
thanks Diana! It’s funny- my 12 year old is blonde and is growing out her “Sun-In” highlights from the summer so we are in kind of opposite transitions- her “roots” are slightly darker blond than the surfer-chick blond of the bottle!
She cut her hair about a year ago to donate it to Locks of Love and is planning to do the same again.
She’s encouraging me to do the same once I cut so yet another incentive for me to grow it out long vs. going short. Still checking if they take colored hair.
Have a great week!
Posted by on 01/21 at 09:17 AM
Oh—what a neat thing for your daughter to do. And you, too! Ok, no advice about cutting hair! D.
Posted by on 01/21 at 04:06 PM
Thisyear, I think that is such a great thing your daughter is doing.
I have just made the decision to stop coloring my hair. Its strange, previously the appearance of white roots was annoying, and now I find myself looking at my roots, almost willing my hair to grow out faster.
I bought myself a beret too, though I can’t wear that in church. Headbands maybe! Got to find ways to deal with the growing out period.
Posted by on 01/27 at 09:14 AM
Oh yes, the headband trick! That’s ok if your white roots are just a bit longer, because what you’ll see at the hairline is white. Another thing that helped me—pulling my hair back at the sides. My white came in nicely around my face, so when I clipped the hair back, I could “fake it” as an icy white. I didn’t care what it looked like when I left the room—as long as I looked ok going in! I’m just so surprised at how many of you just want to tough out transitioning without trying any of the coloring tricks, or consulting with a pro to get you through it. My grandma used to say “You must suffer to be beautiful.” (I think that’s when she introduced me to eyebrow tweezing!) But the truth is, you don’t.
I was chatting with Brad Johns the other day (he’s really an über colorist, plus being the Global Color Director of Clairol), and he said if you don’t want to cut your hair, and you don’t want to transition with color, there’s really no easy way to do it. I think all of us “cold turkey” gals know this. So grit your teeth and get out those hairbands! D.
Posted by on 01/27 at 09:46 AM
I REALLY want to stop coloring my hair; but my husband and kids (and my parents for that matter) hated it when I did it about 7 years ago. I am now almost 42 and have been 90% grey for a long time; so it’s a lot of time and money involved in keeping it up. I just feel like I am faking who I am with the hair being dyed. I also tell everyone that I am grey; and that it’s a dye job!! 
Posted by on 01/28 at 05:06 AM
Hi suzy2u—Glad you got here! Wow, veto by family, huh? I can understand. If you’re “almost” 42 now, that means you were around 34-35 the first time you tried to go gray. Your husband, kids, and parents just weren’t ready for a gray haired wife/mother/daughter. If you truly are tired of dye, and want to be the “real” you, I suggest you involve your family—slowly—in the process. Clip out some great gray-haired models from magazines or catalogs. Show them this site. Get the book, if you want, and show them that gray doesn’t have to be boring—or most of all, old! If you get the thumbs up, then go out there and be a fabulous gray. You’ll still have to transition, even with 90% gray, because you’ve got all those dyed ends. But do it gradually. Soften and lighten the tone of your hair with each color appointment. That way, the contrast won’t be so dire. (It also gives you—and your family—time to get used to it!) When the gray takes over, you might consider boosting it with highlights or glazing, or some of the other techniques mentioned on the site. (I know, coloring is what you want to avoid!)—but at this point, you might only have to do it 2 times a year. Just dazzle ‘em! And prove, beyond anything, that you’re still YOU! Good luck, D.
Posted by on 01/28 at 08:16 AM
Hi Suzy, This is a great website to give you encouragement, inspiration and support through the whole process. I am almost the same age as you, and also about 80% grey, and can totally relate to what you said about telling everyone it’s a dye job, when complimented on how great my hair looks.
Diana’s given some great options of how to gradually stop coloring. I also did what she suggested, about clipping out pictures of grey haired models, though I probably won’t look as great as they do. It’s a good idea though.
Posted by on 01/28 at 09:46 AM
Hey, consider it inspiration! (Also keep in mind that models get primped, primed, and painted for HOURS before a shoot!) 
D.
Posted by on 01/28 at 10:01 AM
I am very anxious to just “do it”!!! I am not afraid of being grey; and I just toughed it out the first time (when I was 35). I think grey/white/snow it goregous. My mom has sparkley white hair that just SHINES, the part that is the hardest for me is seeing my scalp so much easier when it’s white--like a naked bunny pink. That bit is a turn off!!!
Posted by on 01/28 at 02:37 PM
Naked bunny pink? Well, you’ve stumped me there. Is your hair especially thin? Look at Chazz on the cover of the book—you can see her scalp, too. But nobody’s looking. You see her eyes, her smile, her gorgeous white hair. THAT’s where people will be looking! I know you just want to “jump in” and get it to the gray/white/snow stage you love. I’m just wondering if you’ll get the same reaction from your family this time around. If your mom’s hair is sparkly white, that means you probably have the genes to get there! So—gonna do it? D.
Posted by on 01/28 at 04:02 PM
My hair strands are very thick; tons of it actually; it just seems like my scalp is a different color when I’m grey!
I am really thinking about it!! I had it dyed about 2 weeks ago, so I just have to decide if I want to do one more semi-permanent color a lighter shade or just do it!! I had very very dark brown hair; and my eyebrows are still very dark (except I think they are actually polka dotted now with white-- of course!!!) I don’t want to have short hair though, I want sort of long…
Posted by on 01/28 at 05:56 PM
My kids have been after me for years to let the gray grow out. I’ve been graying since I was 25. I’m 42 and a Nana now. I’m always being mistaken for my grand kids mother or my daughter’s sister. Though I do not TRY to look younger.
My husband is all for my growing the gray out as well. He’s been Paula Deen’s color since mid 30’s.
Right now I have about 3/4’’ new gray growth. I’ll get a shorter hair cut when it grows out a little more.
Posted by on 01/30 at 03:26 PM
Oh by the way my name is Lori
Posted by on 01/30 at 03:27 PM
Hi everybody,
I am so happy to read your comments and share this experience. I am 54 and had been dyeing my hair for about 20 years until I just couldn’t stand it anymore and stopped 2 months ago. I hated looking “rooty” so I got it cut very short 2 weeks ago. I came home with white at the top, brown in the middle, and whitewalls over my ears. My husband begged me to dye it again. What I did do was put in a brown glaze. It doesn’t cover the gray, really, but it does help it blend in with the brown. Now it looks pretty good.
Posted by on 01/30 at 06:55 PM
Hi Katydot—Welcome to the Café! Let’s see, if you stopped dyeing 2 months ago, you probably have an inch of white roots, give or take. And, yup, you’re suffering from calico-cat syndrome. I sympathize. Glad to hear you’ve blended it, but I wonder about your choice of a glaze product. If it’s truly a glaze, its sheer and conditioning, adds great shine, but, alas, can stain the hair. (Interesting to note that a glaze is sometimes called a stain.) It’s also a semi-permanent product. A semipermanent color will wash out completely the first time, but not the second time. So you can get color build-up.
Maybe when your glaze washes out (4-6 weeks), you might consider a demipermanent toner one shade lighter than your normal hair color. It has the same blending-in quality, but the bonus is, your grays will accept the color, so they just look like highlights. Your darker color won’t know it’s even there. And the best part is, you don’t get a grow-out line—the color just fades gradually. Something to think about. Hang in there! D.
Posted by on 01/30 at 08:30 PM
Diana, I have a question. My hair stylist suggested a rinse. Would that ‘stain’ the hair, or does the colour just rinse out as the name suggests?
Posted by on 01/31 at 04:36 AM
Referring to the post by Suzy earlier, about the scalp looking very pink when the hairs grows out white. I find that happens to me too, and the solution for me, was to move my hair parting just a little to the left or right of where I normally part it, and it doesn’t look so bad anymore. Maybe you could try that.
I’m not sure if in the States, you refer to it as a hair parting, that is how it is referred to where I live—across the pond-- in England.
Posted by on 01/31 at 05:35 AM
Hi Pam—as I say in the book, sometimes the vocabulary of color gets tossed around easily—one person’s “rinse” is another person’s “glaze.” Even though I give definitions of every color process, you have to be very sure what your colorist is talking about. If she means a TEMPORARY rinse, the color simply coats the hair shaft, then washes right out. This is good to refresh color, or try a new shade, but after you shampoo, it’s bye-bye color. A color rinse might also be a semipermanent toner (and since she’s a pro, I have a feeling that’s what she is talking about). Yes, this will gradually wash out, but as it is semipermanent, you can get slight color build-up, and, yes, it can stain the hair. There’s a great quote from Constance Hartnett in the book (she’s the former Color Director at Frederic Fekkai, and really quite a world-famous colorist.) She says “A semipermanent rinse stains the hair, and it’s not going to come off, no matter what they say.” She advises only doing it once while going through the growing-in phase. So—I guess my best advice is to make really sure what type of rinse your colorist is talking about. D.
Posted by on 01/31 at 07:15 AM
Pam—I just read your next post. Ohhhhh. Yes, I can see where “translations” are even more critical! So glad you found us in England!! I hear that gray hair is becoming big there—is that true? If so, be sure to spread the word about this site! And let us know all about this.
Now, to your parting question—yes, we call it that, too—another good idea is to do a zig-zag part. My stylist suggested this recently, and while I’m going to put that in a new feature soon, I’m giving you the advance scoop! I think it’s funny—you and Suzy have got me staring at my part!! Ok, well, maybe it does look a little pinker. Or does it? I honestly don’t know, but I think we ALL should stop staring at our parts. Nobody else does! D. 
Posted by on 01/31 at 07:27 AM
Thank you, Diana for your expert advice on glazes. I was wondering why the color did not seem to be washing out, as the product information said it would after a few shampoos. I am going to try not to put any further color in my hair. I actually think I was becoming allergic to it, anyway. My scalp was getting real itchy every time I colored. --Kate
Posted by on 01/31 at 08:44 AM
I grew up across the pond too (Africa) and am very familar with British terminology, and still use it every day (have a boot; not a trunk!) Glad someone knew what I meant about the pink scalp!!!
Posted by on 01/31 at 10:48 AM
Oooh, Kate—itchy scalp—NOT a good sign. Did you see the article “A Burning Question” in Transitioning? And also the messages from other people who have posted in about PPD allergies? A slight itching may be a precursor, especially if it happens every time you color. Have patience—your glaze WILL wash out in time, but just not in the “few shampoos” the product info promised. If you’re NOT allergic, don’t be discouraged about using color, as you may get fed up with your calico-cat hair after awhile. It’s nice to know it’s out there as an option, if things get really grim. D.
Posted by on 01/31 at 12:29 PM
Hi Diana,
I just read “A Burning Question”. Hmmm...Do you think there could be any connection between my itchy scalp and the fact that I recently discovered a pretty extreme asthma-inducing allergy to sulfites in foods?
By the way, I teach Reading and while going through the dictionary I came across the entry for “Diana”, “the Roman goddess traditionally associated with the moon”. I have heard gray-haired ladies described as “women of the moon”. So I think you are very aptly named. And you are a “jewel” too.
Thanks for all your help. --Kate
Posted by on 02/01 at 02:51 PM
Actually, Kate, that’s just my stage name. Nah, just kidding. It’s the real deal. Thanks for the nice compliment. I’m afraid knowing if your asthma-inducing allergy to sulfites in foods is related to PPD allergy is beyond my range of expertise. I recall a site that lists possible drug/food interactions, but I can’t remember which one it was! Let me think about it, and when I find it, I’ll give you the link. Best, “moon woman.”
Posted by on 02/01 at 04:39 PM
Thanks for this website!
My brunette hair started turning gray in my mid 40’s. I started using champagne henna for highlights but decided to let it go gray. I am now 57 and last spring made a very big mistake. I was going to be moving and changing jobs and decided to try henna again. The henna stained my gray hair and Clairol Metalex didn’t remove it.
I decided to go gray again and did two things to help the transition. First, I got a haircut. My hair had been waist length and it is now below shoulder length. The haircut gives my hair lots of movement and I have received compliments.
Second, as soon as the gray roots started showing I decided to cover them with a temporary rinse. I bought Fanciful Roux. I apply this with a coet pad and only on the roots showing. I have about 4 inches of growth. The temporary rinse washes out totally and on weekends I leave my hair alone. I will continue to get regular haircuts which are much shorter than my comfort level but necessary to finally get rid of the blondish stained hair. Right now my sides are where the gray is and some streaks in the back. Before I made this henna mistake I used to get compliments from strangers. I guess the only reason I was concerned about the gray was in regard to my career. My birthday was in January and I was teasing a co-worker about how hard it was for me to turn 30. The next day she said she was thinking about what I said and realized that I my son was 35! She told me I look about 36.
I plan to focus on things really create beauty which are good health, skin, nutrition and exercise. Also good skin care. And mental & spiritual wellbeing!
I just order your book online after trying to find it at an affordable price.
I look forward to trying the suggestions on this site. Thanks
Posted by on 02/02 at 12:08 PM
Oooh, Summer—sorry the henna stained your hair. That’s a new one for me. Usually it washes out EVENTUALLY. But you seem to be doing all the right things now. Roux Fanciful is great, but you have to keep doing it every time you shampoo. I like the idea that you give your hair a “rest” on weekends. I’ve heard it so often—people stop giving your hair compliments when you alter the color (see “What do Women Really Think About Gray, Jaimie DeRoy” and other comments at the Café). So keep up the good work—and the good attitude. You are so right to focus on your total well-being. After all, no sense going gray and falling apart! Thanks for ordering the book and your nice compliments about the site! It’s “home” for all of us. Diana
Posted by on 02/05 at 10:35 AM
You know what Summer? I just checked my notes from a talk I had with Russell Hurlburt, owner of Viva Hair & Spa in Orchard Park, New York. He’s the one that gave me the great quote I’m using on the home page. I found he said “Henna stains the hair.” Just want to clarify this point for everyone considering it! D.
Posted by on 02/05 at 10:51 AM
Hi.Thought I’d check back in. I decided back on New Years I was growing my gray out. I now have about an inch of new growth. It looks salt and peppery with a slightly more sparkly salty strnds. My temples are growing gray fast! If I pull my hair back in a ponytailor french braid, the gray really shows. I’m excited. I’m looking forward to healthier hair. I’ve been coloring my hair for nearly 20 years.
Posted by on 02/11 at 09:36 AM
Cool, isn’t it? You’re beginning to see the fun of transitioning. Keep going! D.
Posted by on 02/11 at 12:52 PM
Hi,
I am very excited because your book came in the mail! Wonderful web site!
Yes henna isn’t such a great idea. I can’t wait to once again have gray hair!
Posted by on 02/11 at 04:58 PM
I went to the hairdresser today!! And....I just opted for a trim; not color; demi or otherwise!!! I am quite excited! 
Posted by on 02/14 at 04:03 PM
okay ladies - just checking in to say got a haircut tonite and finally seeing the ‘light’ after 15 months! Wish I had had the chutzpah to go shorter sooner but (can’t teach an old evolving schnauzer new tricks?) better late than never? (Hey schnauzer is way better than tabby cat!)
Glad to have switched stylists in October. Sometimes with stylists its almost like relationships with some men...after a while you’re in the room with them but they don’t really ‘see’ you anymore! Relationship rut!
Anyway this young gal I go to now has really taken an interest and is really accelerating things in a good way and she’s kinda into my whole project.
Its shorter alright but a whole new look I wouldn’t have tried before. She thinks one more cut and the transition is done. That being said...and once I lose 12 pounds...I might be back to my fighting self in 8 weeks! BTW - Summer - saw your pix and absolutely no way you look anywhere near your age...you go girl!
Posted by on 02/19 at 05:10 PM
Summer where is your picture? I want to see it too. 
Lori
Posted by on 02/19 at 06:27 PM
Hey Lori—Guess Summer’s away—but you can find her pic under the Great Grays tab>Great Grays Gallery. Where YOUR pic should be, too. Hint, hint.
Posted by on 02/20 at 10:18 PM
Morningstar, Thanks for the compliment. It made my day!
Lori, sorry I’m a little late in answering your question. Thanks Diane!
The pic is my gray hair pic and now I am a calico cat! he
What keeps me on the right track is that I know it is worth the trouble of growing out the colored hair. It is a very freeing experience to be your true self. I hope to get the courage to go shorter too!
Posted by on 02/21 at 05:03 AM
I went to the gallery but didn’t see a “Summer” in the bunch,so how am I missing the picture?
I’ll get some pictures loaded soon. Though because I’m wearing a bang the gray is noy noticable yet, and when I trying taking pictures of the roots the gray doesn’t show up too well.
Posted by on 02/21 at 09:49 AM
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