Grayincali - Thanks for your nice remarks. :o)

It sounds like we have similar hair texture. Mine is thick and coarse as well. Like yours, my hair is much softer now without the dye. I love how touchable it is.

Yes - maybe we will be about the same mix of salt and pepper. I read in your bio that you were 25 when your first grays were spotted. I was also 25 the day I spotted my first couple. I was pregnant and had a check-up that day and told my doctor about my newfound grays. He laughed at me (I was fairly dramatic about it). He assured me the pregnancy had nothing to do with it. :o)

I’m enjoying watching your transition. I love all the headbands. :o)

Posted by greeneyes on 11/19 at 07:04 PM

Hello goinggray2. Glad you found Diana’s wonderful site! You’ll definitely find silver hair support here. We’re all about cheering each other on as we journey in search of our natural colors, whatever they may be!

I wondered myself if I would be brave enough to go gray, and now I’m 11 months into gray and growing it as fast as I can. :o)

It sounds like you’ve been considering this for some time and you are liking your gray, so I believe you ARE brave enough! Consider sending in pictures to go in the newbies! We’ll be able to watch your transition and cheer you on all along the way. :o)

Posted by greeneyes on 11/19 at 07:19 PM

Hello goinggray2, welcome!!  You will find much encouragement and support here at GGLG.  The true test of bravery is sending in your photo the the newbies section!! Glad to hear that you like your silver, that really helps!

Posted by lulubell on 11/19 at 07:21 PM

well
had dinner tonight with some of my high school pals...one hadn’t seen me since last month...she likes it alot the other?? no comment so i asked...she doesn’t because it makes her feel old!!! oh brother… but i asked!! i said well get used to feeling old when i am around cuz i am keeping it !!  she did admit she was looking at some recent pics of herself and realizes her hair is too dark...so she will deal with lightening it!! i told her it was her job to keep her hair dresser in buisness...!! ha ha…
she loves the cut but really is not all that wild about the gray...women are the more critical ones ..today at work one of the male teachers called me a silver fox! ha
i knew it would be a mixed bag of reviews but I AM OK WITH THAT!!

welcome goinggray2… get ready for the roller coaster ride we’ll be screaming right behind you with our arms waving in the air!!!
louann

Posted by lainla3 on 11/19 at 09:54 PM

Welcome goinggray2, I’m glad you found us. I’m 45 and the only one among my friends doing this so the site has been invaluable in supporting me through this process. I’m now completely natural having transitioned earlier this year and I’m very happy with how my hair has turned out. If you decide to go for it you’ll find lots of advice and cheering on here.

Sharon

Posted by Sharon on 11/20 at 12:49 AM

Hi goinggray2, you are in the right place.  I quit the bottle (color) July 25, 2008.  But then I made a mistake in September for my 46th birthday and use what I thought was a temporary color.  Althought it has washed out quite a bit my beautiful white is now stained.  Looking on the bright side my transition is softer, my husband calls it “Sunburst” because it reminds him of the color of his favorite guitar, but it also means I’ll have 8 additional weeks of transition. 

I wish I had read Diane’s book before I used the “temporary” color.  Staying connected to this website helps immensly.  You’ll find great support and make friends at the same time.  Just remember, great minds think alike - he he! 

Marisa

Posted by Marisa on 11/20 at 05:01 AM

I met a friend yesterday who hadn’t seen mee since May.  She was supportive and even asked about the website, we may have a convert!  Even my 15 year old son who’s original comment was “You’ll look old!” said yesterday “Mom, you have a cool dark streak showing up in front”.  Ha, “COOL”, me! I think I’ll ride high on that one for a few days.  

I can only remember one negative comment so far.  It was from the sales lady at the sewing machine store where I take technique classes once a month.  She said “I’ll die before you catch me doing that” (she’s older than I) The best part is that all of the other more “mature” women in the class, I’m one of the youngest, all started talking about what they would look like if they let their hair go natural.  They were all very positive in how they were talking about it.  I quickly reallized that I was among friends and any problem was certainly not mine. 

Sewing ladies are just as wonderful as silver ladies.

Posted by Marisa on 11/20 at 06:00 AM

Welcome Goinggray2.  So glad to have you with us.  This is definitely the place to be for support. I couldn’t have made it this far without them. It’s such a great adventure, this transition process.  I have even been asked a few times if I colored my hair to make it like this. 

I got a trim yesterday (the first since the buzz in September).  It looks much more like a haircut now, without the many jagged ends,lol.  The best part is that I found a great hairdresser that just loves the color.  She gave me so many compliments and made me feel great.  Also, gave me a great cut.  Gotta love that.

I also saw a cousin of mine yesterday I hadn’t seen in about a year.  She didn’t even recogized me.  (Everyone is just so shocked at first because they had no idea that I was so gray at 35.) We talked for a while and she showed me her stands of silver in her hair (she’s 43).  She doesn’t color either and the silver was sparkling in the sunlight. She’s a silver sister and I didn’t even know it.  She said she liked my color, it was just such a shocking change from the brown.

So I had quite a hair day yesterday.  Funny how some days seem to be all about the hair,lol.

Y’all have a great day Ladies!  Y’all are the best!
Leeja

Posted by Leej on 11/20 at 06:38 AM

Leeja - There’s nothing like a great cut and then compliments to boot! I’m having fun watching your hair grow. I guess I’m kinda silly, but I wish everyone could quickly morph into their BG (before gray) hair length and style so we could compare the exact same dye cut with silver cut. :o)

I’m more like your cousin. Either people don’t notice or don’t care to comment. So unless they’re people who really matter, I just keep going and growing, and have fun in my own little silver world. :o)

Posted by greeneyes on 11/20 at 06:55 AM

I’m with you greeneyes, I wish I could morph into my pre-gray cut.  Oh that would be great! I think people are just as shocked by the cut as they are my color.

My cousin said she was getting her hair cut the other day and the stylist said that people pay lots of money for those silver hightlights in her hair.  They looked like stands of silver silk in the sunlight. They are just beautiful.  Yours is like that too.  If you ever watch the show “Brothers and Sisters” with Sally Field, her hair is like that.  You can barely see the silver until the light hits it, and POW! it’s amazing.  Oh I wish I wouldn’t have covered up all that silver silk for all these years. It’s like diamonds!

Leeja

Posted by Leej on 11/20 at 07:03 AM

Ladies,

Thank you for the warm welcome and encouragement!

I spoke briefly with my DH this morning about letting my hair go gray. I was disappointed with his response. He said he didn’t like “mixed” hair. My hair would definitely be “mixed.” My natural color is very dark brown--almost black--and the top doesn’t have much gray yet.

It doesn’t help that everyone is his family is very hair color conscious. Last year at Thanksgiving, I was trying some natural methods to blend in the few grays. It wasn’t very effective and left my hair looking a bit muddy and red.(I was experimenting with coffee rinses, sage, cinnamon, rosemary etc.) One of my husband’s cousins took me to the local Walgreens and recommended a temporary product she liked. She commented that she would never let herself go gray.

So you see the pressure I’m facing--and this is before my little boys chime in. They’ve said before they wouldn’t want me to be gray. Most other kids’ moms are younger and color their hair.

I’m thinking I’ll do it anyway. I’ve never been one to follow the crowd, and my calculated risk taking has never betrayed me. I think I’m “in,” but I will appreciate your support!

Posted by goinggray2 on 11/20 at 07:35 AM

goinggray2:
Welcome and I hope you find strength to go with your decision from all of us here!  I would say nearly everyone on this site has had some form of opposition; even when our families support us there are the naysayers in our workplace or community who are appalled at our decision and spout their negativity at us.  I haven’t read all the posts leading to this one but I would encourage you to plow ahead and take support here as needed.  You might be surprised at how others’ opinions change as they see how great you look with your natural hair.  It’s not an overnight process, but that’s what Diana’s book and this website are here for:  to help you through!

Posted by newbie2 on 11/20 at 08:11 AM

P.S. the benefits of being natural are SOOO worth the opposition.  And in time your boys will see that you are still their same mom, only happier with herself!

Posted by newbie2 on 11/20 at 08:14 AM

Goingray2,

I understand the boat your in, boy do I understand.  I’m only 35 and have 2 daughters ages 5 and 9.  The oldest was totally against the gray and said mom please don’t.  My husband wasn’t quite sure about it, either.  (But I think he was really tired of listening to me be so frustrated with my hair.)But, he to mentioned the mixed gray with a negative tone. I was where you are, just really wanting to stop coloring, to be free from it all. I don’t think anyone understands unless they really have the desire to stop coloring. Those that don’t have to color really don’t understand for sure. Ultimately, I realized that I had to do what is best for me and realized that I didn’t have to do what anyone else wanted me to do.  We do so much in this life because of other’s desires and expectations.  But if coloring your hair is making you unhappy (which truly was the case for me), then you have to make the decision that is best for you.  I won’t say this road is easy.  But what really helps is having the support of all these women here and knowing that you are not alone on this jouney, no matter what you decide to do.  We are here and we all understand what you are going through.

As for my immediate family, they are all on board now.  They know I’m going to do what’s best for me anyway.  As for the rest of the family, we’ll see what all the reactions are at Thanksgiving.  At least, no matter what they say, I know that I am doing this for me, not them. 

Take a look around the site, especially the Great Grays.  It only took showing my husband Elizabeth’s picture for him to be more comfortable with my transitioning. I think so many guys have an idea in there head of “the gray headed old lady”. But these women here blow that stereotype out of the water.

Just remember, no mater what you decide, we’re here for you! 

Leeja

Posted by Leej on 11/20 at 08:17 AM

Rah, Rah--well said, Leeja!

Elizabeth, have you any idea that you’re this site’s equivilent to the 70’s Farrah poster?? (am I dating myself or what??)

Posted by newbie2 on 11/20 at 08:23 AM

It’s true about Elizabeth, newbie2, I have several photographs of her on the wall next to my computer!

Posted by Sharon on 11/20 at 08:35 AM

Many thanks! On another note, I’m not used to this board’s format. Is there an easy way to access bio information? Is there a way to order comments from newest to latest? Thanks for any info.

Posted by goinggray2 on 11/20 at 08:37 AM

Grayincali,

Just so you know, I do see your new photo in the members album.  Very cute!  The gray is really coming in nicely.  I was hoping you had sent in more pictures for your newbie page, too.  I love seeing new pictures. 

I’m getting my hair cut at 4pm today.  I can’t wait!  I’ll try to send in some new pictures very soon.  I may even get another hair cut in before our so cal event in January.  The more of this old stuff cut off the better!

Posted by RunnerGal on 11/20 at 08:45 AM

New pictures! Yay! Can’t wait! Send them in ladies. :o)

Ditto about Elizabeth! She says finding this site was perfect timing for her… (I think she was actually considering dyeing her hair again - PPD and all! Eeek!) I say it was also perfect timing for so many of us! I was already transitioning and enjoying this site, but when Diana posted Elizabeth’s story, it totally sealed the deal for me. :o) Everytime I’ve wavered, I’ve taken a visit to just look at her hair.

We love you, Elizabeth! Do you realize what a huge fan club you have!? :o)

Posted by greeneyes on 11/20 at 09:08 AM

Wow…

I wanted to check my emails quick before I headed down to the cities this afternoon for my flight to AZ.(flying out early Friday morning) and these posts came up on my email.

I just want you ALL to know how much of a BLESSING you are to me! This site has helped bring such deep healing to my heart, and you ALL have played a huge part in the process! I truly believe that I would NOT be the person that I am today without the “Silverlining Journey”! Thank you for your kind words...thank you for showing me a “new way” to see myself...you ALL have helped set me FREE!!!!

I am Blessed...I embrace that I am unique...and I can say with passion, “ I AM FREE”!!!

My heart is totally dedicated to this “Silver Sisterhood”...it has changed my perspective on life in so many ways!!!It is ALL about the journey...and what an incredible journey it is!

Much Love, E

Posted by elizabeth on 11/20 at 12:28 PM

Good Luck in Arizona Elizabeth!  Stay safe and have fun, fun, fun!!!  This trip is just a continuation of your incredible journey, we can’t wait until your are back and can send in some photos.

Posted by lulubell on 11/20 at 05:37 PM

HELP!! well I did it last week got a above shoulder haircut,getting closer!!
But guess what I did tonight?
put semi color on it,I couldnt take it any more,my roots are almost 2 inches,but I cant go any shorter,my husband will lock the door. 
so my question is,can I dontinue to put semi color on it until my roots are longer?
ps I kinda like the color,but then again its almost my cycle,Im lucky I didnt put a perm color on it.
advice plz.....
we should have an 800 number so someone can talk us off the edge,haha
Dawn

Posted by dawn on 11/20 at 09:22 PM

Oh Dawn,
I did the same thing in September and well, now I have muli- tonal hair.  I had 8weeks of growth which is about an inch, so now I have two to three inches of dye and one inch of stained whit whick is where the faded semi color is, and another 1/2 inch of white, which is the new growth.  The bad news is that I added 8 weeks to my transition the good news is, it seems to have softened the transition. (see my description in my bio)

If you want to try to take the color back out I’ve heard of a product that might do it, but I caution, I know nothing more about it than that.  I’m not even possitive of the name but I think it’s called “Oops ...” How fitting, right?  Maybe you could find revews about it somewhere on the internet to help you make the decision.  I didn’t use it because I didn’t think about it untio a few days latter and I think I remember that you need to use it as soon as possible.  Good luck there.

I will tell you that I understand about not wanting to cut you hair shorter because of the thickness and such.  I too have thick course hair that will stand up.  I do however have short hair now because I trust my styling tool.  I just make sure it’s long enough to go around my Conair 1 1/4” instant heat Hot Brush.  I love it!  My hair is a little puffy sometimes but it’s “styled” and smooth because of this tool. Nothing else has ever sorked this good without damaging my hair, i.e. the flat iron.  You can only order it online through Conair or through Drugstore.com. and it’s not expensive.

I read on another blog about a woman who scorched her white hair with a flat iron and there’s no fixing that! That must have been what happened to mine and why I cut 5 inches of split ends off of it.  I just couln’t see it because of the color.

I hope this helps.

Marisa

Posted by Marisa on 11/21 at 05:11 AM

Speaking of oops… I should have put my glasses on before typing. 

Second sentance should read “...stained white, which...”,

Second Paragraph, 5th sentence “...think about it untill...days later...”

Third Paragraph, 7th sentence “...has ever worked...”

Goodness I’m really bad.  Diane, could you put spell check on this thing?!

Forget being self-concious about my hair, now I have a complex about my spelling and typing.

Posted by Marisa on 11/21 at 05:29 AM

i only used a wash out ONCE and that was the first time after i decided to go au natural...i was not sure i really wanted to do it but my stylist said it would help the transition and it washes out after so many washes ...the people who benefit from it the most??? MY FAMILY because they were a bit nervous about what really was underneath!!! i think they thought i was going to have a head full of WHITE cotton balls!! i knew there was salt AND pepper under there and i kept remember reading in the book and on this site that EVENTUALLY YOU HAVE TO STOP COLORING IT PERIOD !! so that is the one and only time i did anything...mine has turned out looking like i am highlighting it...that is what quite a few people have been asking me!!
as far as spelling errors ...my problem is i can’t type as fast as i am thinking so most of the time what you see is what you get!!!bla bla bla

happy friday everyone!! just so you know i am going to have a peice of steak this weekend to get ready for all the VERSIONS of turkey commin’ our way!!!
louann

Posted by lainla3 on 11/21 at 06:29 AM

Hi all,
Just chiming in on the rinse issue.  I have decided that what I kept calling my “pesky brown ends” even 10 months into transitioning were actually the remains of the “temporary rinse” I did 6 weeks into my growout phase.  So I would really think about whether it’s work it to do that since these do seem to just delay the process to natural.  The little brown bits in mine were not actually dyed hair but might as well have been, since they looked so different from the “pepper” in my natural hair.  On that note, I am getting my first trim in 12 weeks today and hopefully even those rinse remnants will be gone.  I so prefer what is growing naturally!

Posted by newbie2 on 11/21 at 06:45 AM

WORTH it, not work it. Those darn typos!!

Posted by newbie2 on 11/21 at 06:46 AM

Diana, I understand about the name.  Before “Marisa” became a popular name people called me Marsha, Marcia, Maria, etc.  I spell it with one “s” and pronounce it with a spanish accent.  Now everyone spells it with two s’s as if it’s a different version of Melissa.  Anyway, I"m sorry.  Please take into account that I didn’t have my glasses on. 

Marisa

Posted by Marisa on 11/21 at 07:23 AM

Oh Diana, I meant to add:

I should have known that you had us covered with all the information we need right here on this site.  YOU ROCK!

Thank you,
Marisa

Posted by Marisa on 11/21 at 07:27 AM

yea the nuns used to call me MARY lou ha ha

(merry)louann

Posted by lainla3 on 11/21 at 07:32 AM

So is it best not to use Fanciful Roux if I want sparkling white or silver hair in a few months? (I use one of the darkest Roux colors.) I was thinking of applying it for an upcoming party to brighten some of the color faded orange-red pieces.

Posted by goinggray2 on 11/21 at 07:33 AM

Leeja, Just remember that it’s a curling iron with bristle’s not an air drying brush.  If you get it from drugstore.com the model number is - oh wait a minute, now that I have my contacts in I’d better get my reading glasses on so I will give you the right number.

It’s #BC86RCS - $17.99 before shipping. I hope you like it.

I’m off to help my hubby pack for Venice. I want to go too!

Marisa

Posted by Marisa on 11/21 at 07:34 AM

Thanks, Diana. I’ll do that. Glad to hear the Roux Fanciful is still an option.

BTW - Thanks for making this space and taking on this most noble mission! Thanks, too, to all the brave ladies sharing--especially the pics.

Posted by goinggray2 on 11/21 at 08:20 AM

I am ordering that brush today.  thankyou all for your support,since I only did this once I wont EVER do it again,I dont know what came over me.  Hopefully I havent stained it too much. and I hope I’ve learned a lesson,I’ll keep you all posted,Dawn

Posted by dawn on 11/21 at 09:24 AM