Café Gray

Gray hair and your career

"Dye-ing” to keep your job? Does gray hair work where YOU work? Has it affected your career one way or another? Let’s talk about this.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 12/11 at 07:42 PM

I let my hair go gray this past spring/summer.  In July I was forced to find a new job and really struggled with the question of whether or not to color my hair again.  In the long run, I decided to keep my “natural” look because I wanted whoever I interviewed with to accept me for who I am, gray hair and all!  I found a new job and continue to love the freedom of not having to color my hair and worry about roots all the time!

Posted by babs on 01/08 at 06:02 PM

Wow, Babs—I’m sure it took courage to do that. But it’s always better to be accepted for who you are AND what you can offer to a company. You didn’t mention if being forced to find a new job was directly attributed to your gray hair, or if there were other reasons, like downsizing, etc. Anyway, their loss, and definitely your gain, because now you can be YOU. Congrats! D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 01/08 at 06:43 PM

Good for you Babs!  You know ladies, it occurs to me that some but not all of it depends on the attitude, energy level and skill sets the one sporting the silver brings to the office every day. I’m convinced attitude drives everything.  On the other hand, as young people come up the ranks and you find yourself among higher ups old enough for you to have birthed...ageism in the office does sometimes smack you in the face and it’s easy for insecurity to set in.

Among the most interesting and unexpected things to happen along my own way to gray is the number of professional men who felt compelled to confess to me that they’ve have been coloring for years ever since the first sight of gray!

One fellow was shocked to see me for the first time in several years while I was in mid transition.  One month later he decided to stop coloring saying that if I could do it he can too.  Another youth obsessed gentlemen I know through business did the same thing ....thought my natural highlights were so cool...and is loving watching his silvers come through ad nauseum:-) So go figure....who knew we could be role models for the opposite sex too?  I guess we are pioneers:-)

Posted by morningstar on 01/24 at 04:19 AM

My personal experience is that unusual hair makes you unforgettable.
I am self-employed and I meet potential clients quite often.
Since going gray, one potential client I called back after meeting said “oh yes! I remember you, the young lady with black and white hair!”

So i guess there is at least that good side to it, being unforgettable grin

Catherine

Posted by gardenmimine on 06/10 at 10:56 AM

I know this page is not as busy for posting as some but my latest experiences really fit this topic.

My biggest fear about going grey had been my work “appearance” I guess, going grey in a moderately professional office. I was in a new career for me, over 40 and still wanting to look like I knew what I was doing. With all of that I was not wanting to take on dealing with the silvering that was obviously happening under all my dye.

Fast forward about 6 months and after seeing both the GGLG book, website...3 months of grow out, and one short haircut later:

I had not expected how much FUN(yes, fun)it would be to make a dramatic change at the workplace once I had the big chop. The anxiety just pointed to the most sensitive place of my own insecurities. I was pretty scared, but once you chop your hair off, there is not much you can hide about that! You dont have to SAY anything...just “Hi!” and watch the results.

Then you can tell everyone about the going grey looking great website.

Ruth

Posted by ruthmgon on 09/03 at 05:17 AM

I let my hair go gray when I was leaving one job and pretty much took the first job that I was offered because I was so afraid that I wouldn’t get another offer.  My hair was very short and that probably was part of my insecurity about my gray hair.  I took a job that I am overqualified and overeducated for and now I cannot seem to get promoted out of this position.  I am so frustrated.  I don’t know if it is my hair color that is keeping me trapped or what.  I try to convince myself that my gray hair shows me as the confident woman that I am… but I’m wondering.

Posted by Lynn on 09/29 at 09:13 AM

Thanks, Lynn, for that thoughtful posting. It’s always easy to blame our “grays” for career problems. And it’s natural - after all, YOU haven’t changed, lost your skills, your effectiveness in the work place. Must be your hair.  In some cases and business cultures, this could be true.  Unfortunately.  But before you decide your job demands dye, let’s look at a few things.

One, you said the job was not one that could best use your talents. I’m wondering, is this a promotable position? Can you trace the paths of others who have had this position—were they promoted to a substantial position?  How long did it take them to be promoted? This could be a dead-end job. There are such things. Or perhaps the higher ups are comfortable keeping you in the position because you are performing it so well. It might have nothing at all to do with the color of your hair.

And finally, feeling you wouldn’t get another offer because of your short gray hair, you grabbed something you were overqualified for. Maybe fewer skills is all they want. Period. Ended. They don’t want all you can do or all you can be. It’s not the job. And if you shine too brightly, you can be sure someone may be threatened. Again, nothing to do with the color of your hair, but everything to do with their fear that you may replace them. So they’re gonna block you, any way they can.

See if you can look for underlying reasons first. This is not the best time in financial markets to go looking for another job hmmm but, eventually, it may be your only way out—and UP!

Posted by Diana Jewell on 09/29 at 01:45 PM

I knew the minute I took the position that I shouldn’t… I had just spent the last 3 years covering the central part of the US for a manufacturing company and I was tired of traveling and wanted to be able to go home at night.  My prospective employer asked me why I would want to take such a giant step down and I said I was just tired of traveling.  It is not a position that has levels or promotes, but the problem seems to be that any prospective employer or the existing employer can only see what I am doing now and none of my past experience.  But the clinker is, they pay great and I have benefits.  I need to thank my lucky stars and shut up. Thanks for responding and thanks for listening.  I know it’s not a good time for a move and I just need to put on my “big girls panties and deal with it”.

Posted by Lynn on 09/29 at 02:16 PM

I can sympathize completely.  I think I quit the magazines because I was tired of traveling so much. Flight attendants began asking me where I was based! LOL But—a-ha—this is not a position that has levels or promotes??  So now you know, it’s not your hair.

Well, that’s what CV’s are for—play down this position, play up your past experience. But for now, just enjoy that great pay and benefits! And be glad you’re not at Wachovia or WaMu. There WILL come a time. . .!

Posted by Diana Jewell on 09/29 at 02:27 PM

It has been fun going gray here at work.  The end of February 2008, I was a dark chocolate brown all over, the result of Loreal Preference hair color in a box, a home-done job (pretty good, I must admit).  That was when I made the decision to not do it any more.  It was only lasting three weeks and I was tired of it.  I told a woman in my office I was going to go gray and she said, “Are you smoking crack or something?” She is 12 years younger than me but looks much older, and she colors her hair.  Anyway, she shut up when, a few months later, I had the most gorgeous mix of mostly silver and some dark brown.  I have had more positive comments at work than at all the rest of the times of my life about my hair.  Only one person made a negative comment, and she just said she liked it better when I colored it.  She is Japanese and very prim and primpy and is somewhat obsessed with her looks and wardrobe.  I inspired a co-worker to go gray, too, and she is already 80% there.  Work is not an issue; I have technical skills that are hard to come by, and as long as I demonstrate them capably, I will be respected and needed.  Going to a new job might be somewhat difficult now, but I don’t plan to do that any time soon unless I have to.  Right now, my manager is cool and has not even commented on my hair once.

Posted by rocksister on 10/08 at 09:58 AM

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