Calling all “post-newbies!” Once you’ve finally “arrived” at official silver-dom, do you ever really stop trying new things with your hair? As we all know, gray is always a work in progress, and as our hair changes, we change our thinking about it. Yes, we have good gray days, and bad gray days, just like we did when we were coloring our hair. And, sometimes, we keep waiting for that fab flash of white that never seems to come. So here’s our spot to talk about what we’re thinking of doing with our hair. Or share some wonderful compliments, or talk about the changes our “new” hair color has inspired us to make. And, yes, if you want to vent, that too!
Posted by on 05/20 at 01:20 PM
Okay gals - I’m steady again 
Thanks for the support! Maybe some of the hyper-sensitivity is that I am not so happy with the latest cut...too choppy on top and my curls know no boundaries when the summer humidity gets to them...they need the weight of some length to tame them down....and give a sleek sophisticated look ...in my mind what I have now it all says old lady poodle. Ruff ruff:-)
Posted by on 07/08 at 03:38 PM
Thanks for the support ladies!
Posted by on 07/08 at 03:39 PM
When I decided to stop coloring at 45 I wasn’t the least concerned even though I wasn’t sure what it was going to look like. I had figured out how much it was costing me to color it and I decided no more. I had medium lenght hair but had had short hair before so I knew I’d be okay with that so off it came. Took one more cut to get all the color off and as I told Diana I never looked back. I’d never gotten many comments on my hair before but as it grew out of the short haircut and got longer everywhere I went someone would comment on what beautiful hair I have, what color is that, I want it. Even teenage girls. I still get comments all the time. As far as job goes it has never been an issue except all the women in the office say if they knew their hair would look like mine they’d stop coloring theirs. I’ve never had a man say anything negative about my hair. In fact, they all seem to love it. And my daughter, who was dead set against me going natural because it would make me look old, is now letting her hair go. She’s been coloring it for years and finally decided no more, this is who I am, take it or leave it. Diana offered to feature her as a “newbie”.
How can hair make you old anyway? It’s your attitude towards life that makes you old or keeps you young. I’m going for the young.
This is an awesome website. Thanks Diana.
Posted by on 07/17 at 02:01 PM
Hello Sallee
Have you got some photographs on this site? I’d love to see them.
Posted by on 07/17 at 02:27 PM
Moonlit—Sallee’s in the Gallery! Go check!
Posted by on 07/17 at 02:34 PM
Thanks Diana, I’ve just had a look at Sallee’s photo and cannot believe that is the face of a woman with a 37 year old daughter! Beautiful hair, beautiful face.
Posted by on 07/17 at 02:46 PM
Sallee - You are beautiful in your natural color(s). Thanks for sharing your story with us and sending in your picture for us to enjoy.
I hope your daughter decides to join the newbies. We love sharing the journey of transitioning!
Posted by on 07/17 at 03:26 PM
Greeneyes, Thank you for the compliment. Where’s your pic? My daughter does want to join the newbies, we have to get some pics and we’ll be sending them in. It will be exciting. How long I wonder has it taken others to transition all the way? By the time I decided to go natural mine was already there so not sure how long it took. Has there been any interest in this site from men turning gray? Just curious if any have come across this site and commented in any way.
Posted by on 07/18 at 10:32 AM
I have posted a question previously under two other Cafe’ Gray topics. The first posting was on 7/14 under “Talk On”. The second was on 7/16 under “Let’s Hear It For The Newbies”. Hoping maybe the reason I have not had any input was because I was posting on the wrong topic heading, I am going to try one more time under this topic heading.
My question is about perming gray hair. I am 57 and let my hair go natural several years ago. I have recently let it grow longer and it is currently just below shoulder length. I have a full head of hair, but no natural curl or wave. We live in MO in the summer and winter in FL, so I am around humidity all year. Would like to wash and go if possible. Am considering a perm and would like some input from any who have tried perming longer gray hair. What kind of perm and did you like it?
If I don’t get a response after this third attempt, I will just assume no one participating in this web site has had any experience with perming gray hair. Hoping the third time will be a charm!
Thanks for any input you may have.
Cathy
Posted by on 07/20 at 03:30 PM
Hi CathyD—Didn’t mean to ignore you. 
Just waiting for someone to “name” a perm they liked. Since I’ve never permed, I can’t be much help. Except to advise you to use a very gentle one, due to the weaker nature (internally) of gray hair. It CAN take a perm, but not a perm + another process (like color, for instance, if you decided you no longer wished to be gray.)
Since it seems that nobody else here has had experience with perms, I’ll send off a question to my favorite pros—although the answer may be more about salon perms and not box perms, but we’ll see what they have to say. I’ll get back to you. Thanks for not giving up on us!
Posted by on 07/20 at 08:11 PM
Diana - Thank you so much for your response!
I would not attempt a home perm anyway, so salon perm information is what I’m looking for. I should have said that in my post. It’s just we live in a rural lake community here in MO and it would be much better if I could recommend a perm to the stylist. Might just have to wait until we return to FL, but was hoping to have it done and relaxed a bit before winter. No plans on ever coloring my hair again, so no worry there!
Thanks again.
Cathy
Posted by on 07/21 at 04:20 AM
Hi CathyD, I apologize as well, I just now saw your post. I have never permed my hair since I grew it out. I’m not sure I know anyone who has. I had straight hair when I first stopped coloring and at one point was very long but I just wore it down or up in a twist. I cut it off about 5 years ago and donated it to Locks for Love. Since then I’ve gone through the change and I now have waves and curls that I’ve had to get used to. The photo of me on the site was taken on a day I blew it dry. I had it cut about 4 months ago and had it layered and now it’s grown for 4 months and the curl and wave is easy to deal with and I’m growing it again.
I’ve never had any luck with perms anyway and I agree with Diana, I wouldn’t attempt a home perm either. I hope Diana’s pros have some tips for you.
Posted by on 07/21 at 07:55 AM
Hi Cathy—you’re certainly welcome. I also see where Elizabeth answered you in the “Talk On” postings, with some info about a perm she had. Go check. Meanwhile, got my feelers out.
Posted by on 07/21 at 07:57 AM
CathyD—Have the perm info for you! This comes from my good friend Vivienne Mackinder, a master stylist and one of the most highly respected international leaders in the hairdressing profession. She knows what she’s talking about! Here’s the scoop:
As gray hair is resistant hair (see Elizabeth’s experience!), the best perm to use is ISO #3. You’ll see below a whole shopping list of reasons why it’s both kind and effective—Hope this info helps!
What makes ISO Option Waves so special?
Damage-free, low ammonia formulation
ISOamine™, an exclusive technology that allows for deeper and more even penetration into the hair’s cortex with minimal swelling of the cuticle. Minimal swelling means hair’s internal and external structures and condition are maintained
Four unique formula for every hair type(from fine to colored to resistant hair) to provide customized results
Six-time consecutive winner of behindthechair.com’s Stylist Choice Award for “Favorite Permanent Wave”. These prestigious salon industry awards are decided yearly by stylists nationwide
The best-selling perms in the thio-free perm market, and the second best-selling perms in the overall perm market. Both are significant standings, considering that there are approximately 950 perming systems in the overall perm market
Posted by on 07/23 at 07:23 AM
Hi CathyD—you really hit the jackpot today! I’ve just heard from Carmine Minardi, Style Director of the world-famous Minardi Salon here in New York (they’re the ones who did all the hair in the book). His approach is to explain more the why’s and how’s a perm acts on gray hair, and what to watch out for. I’ll reprint his whole reply here:
Perming grey hair is most difficult for several reasons.
I have never been a great fan of perming grey hair, since most times it messes with the sheen of the color and in some instances , it also can discolor the hair. However whenever needed, here is how to approach it.
First off there is a big difference between Grey and White hair.
Grey hair has some pigmented hair mixed into non pigmented hair and will usually curl just fine on the “Pepper” hair, but not as much on the “Salt: hair . That said, the worse thing one could do is create a tight curl on this hair type. It will look frizzy, dull, and wooly. Using larger perm rods with milder perm solutions is the most prudent approach. The best type perms are those that are labeled “acid balanced” They usually require heat to process because they are milder.
On White hair , you may have to use a slightly stronger more alkaline perm solution and you may have to use a rod size one size smaller than usual to achieve a similar result., (Not 2 sizes smaller)
The absolute key component to deciding which will take has to do with the hair texture.
The courser the hair, the firmer the curl will be because it contains more cortex. the finer the hair the less curly it will be. Trying to get Fine hair to look course via smaller perm rods will yield volume , but at the expense of Frizz.
Posted by on 07/23 at 12:40 PM
Diana-
Thank you so much for all the wonderful information! I have many things to ponder now. I’m not looking for a real tight curl, so it sounds like there could be a possibility of perming. Also thinking of maybe just some long layers without a perm to see if I might pick up some body that way. I will definitely keep everyone updated on what I decide and send a before and after photo once I do.
Thanks again!
Cathy
Posted by on 07/23 at 01:45 PM
Hi Sallee - Just got back from a short vacation and saw your comment. My pictures are in the newbies section...my name is Dara Barnes. I am almost fully transitioned at 7 months though I still have a little dye on my ends in some places.
Posted by on 07/23 at 07:01 PM
Hi Dara,aka greeneyes, you are gorgeous and will look so stunning with your hair as it grows.
Still working on getting my daughter’s picture taken so she can post on the newbie site.
Hope you had a good mini vacation. I was also out for a few days.
I’ll be looking forward to your “graduation”. 
Posted by on 07/25 at 02:20 PM
Thank you, Sallee, for all your kind remarks.
You may hear my whoops of celebration the day I take a picture for my “graduation!” What seemed so far away is finally almost here.
I’ll be watching for your daughter in the newbies!
Posted by on 07/26 at 06:09 AM
Howdee,
Interesting experience to share today. Went to the upscale mall to get my first batch of Ojon shine products...feeling very dull lately!
Noticed the NARS counter at Sephora and then again at L&T;. Lucked out there! The cosmetologist on call for Nars was the first not to send me out looking like a hooker or a parody of Joan Crawford! Voila! I looked done and natural....best? The silver finally popped from my hair! Next time I’ll know. Anyway..,planning to go back to the counter for an evening look,,,,,if it works out I will ‘out’ the cosmotolegist and you can all bombard him:-)
love and kisses,
Morningstar
Posted by on 08/16 at 05:29 PM
Super, Morningstar! Isn’t it amazing what the RIGHT colors can do? Not only for your face, but as you say—they actually help your hair come to life! I know NARS has some pretty wild colors (actually, a great selection!), so to achieve a truly natural look with them takes some skill. You did luck out!
I once went to NARS at Sephora (sans cosmetologist) because I was looking for a true RED blusher. Found it, bought it, put it on at home, and YIKES! That one has never touched my cheeks again! 
Hey, your posting here reminds me. . . we’re going to have to let the Newbie Grads know that this is the place to post now that they’ve Gone Gray. . . and are Loving It!
Posted by on 08/16 at 06:05 PM
Funny you say that about the red. The cosmetologist told me that NARS is very high pigment so it is extremely important to ‘tap’ the brush good before applying. He was actually very informative. Anyway I am sitting here with my Ojon restorative treatment percolating on my head - it does smell lovely!
Oh and I can’t believe I forgot to mention this but after getting my face done I stopped at a kiosk that sells the clip on hair pieces and casually pouted about never being able to get one to match this hair because I never see gray to begin with....next thing I know the gal there has my hair in a pony tail and a perfect match clipped to my head. Natch - it came home with me too Haven’t had such a productive day at the mall in ages.
OK time is up, on to step two!
Posted by on 08/17 at 07:40 AM
Hi Morningstar~
My husband calls those hair pieces my “rats”! When I was transitioning to longer hair I wore my “rats” all the time 
They’re a great way to get you through to the next stage of length. Have fun!
Posted by on 08/17 at 07:58 AM
That was a great idea you had for use of the ‘rats’. I used to have fun with the ones I had that matched my dyed hair. Nice to know I can still have fun with my new one.
Posted by on 08/17 at 09:40 AM
As as new graduate I’m so happy to be posting here! The express route to going gray has been a fun adventure for me.
First: When I catch my reflection in the mirror - I smile. It makes me REALLY happy to see my natural color.
Second: My twin sister came over today and actually told me she was jealous of how great my hair color looks. Now that’s reason to celebrate!
Third: I am taking much more time with skincare and makeup. I had fun trying on all my lipsticks and getting rid of the ones that didn’t “work” anymore. This left room for the 2 new colors I bought this weekend. And the MDskincare product I’m using is really improving my complexion.
I’m SO excited about my new look and beauty routine… I’m feeling great - can you tell?
Posted by on 08/17 at 05:02 PM
I can tell! And its wonderful! Can you believe the domino effect of just that one first decision to go natural
Posted by on 08/18 at 03:03 AM
Hi, morningstar.
Next domino to fall has to be the 40 extra pounds I’m carrying around… As much as I work out, I still have changes to make for that to happen. Now my motivation is back, so I think it’s a good time to add more cardio activity into my morning routine.
Just read a report that an hour a day is what’s needed to lose weight, so that will be my next goal.
Posted by on 08/19 at 02:18 PM
Hey, we were all talking about adding a little “activity” to our lives awhile back. Who’s sticking to it? Karate Mom, I love the idea of a “morning routine”—it’s really the best time to get it out of the way for the day. What do you do? Could inspire me to get me away from my espresso in front of the computer!
Posted by on 08/21 at 02:51 PM
Karate Mom - that’s one of my goals as well....was on track than up 15 pounds seemingly ‘overnight’....at first I thought it might be due to humidity....or then again could it have been a few weeks of lazy BBQ’s, evening martinis and apps with nary a workout in sight? 
We can do it! We’ll support one another to get on the stick! As for me that will mean back to tracking points (weight watchers) to keep me honest and hopefully back to the gym.
The morning routine sounds super - might try that for weekends - thanks!
Posted by on 08/23 at 01:31 AM
Morning routine: Wake up 1 hour before kids and put on sweats… head to garage where treadmill, stationary bike and Wavemaster (punching target) are located. Turn on morning show on TV and hop on treadmill to walk and warm up. Get bored. Switch to bike. Get bored. Switch to 10 minutes of punching and kicking targets. Shower. Begin day. 4 days a week I also have a hour-long karate class.
Nutrition: Got REALLY frustrated with diet plans my nutritionist suggested. Kept feeling bad. Last week tried gluten-free and dairy-free eating. WOW. No more fatigue and bloating. Looks like I have a wheat/dairy intolerance. Go figure. Back to mediterranean eating. Will report back if new changes have desired effect.
Hair: still soft, shiny and fabulous. Did I mention how much I love those Ojon products?! Getting lots of compliments and only one harried store clerk said “Thank you, sir.” 
I did buy a clarifying shampoo for once a week. But didn’t know if I should also start using a “blue” shampoo yet or just wait?
Posted by on 08/24 at 07:28 AM
Oh, KM—I am SOOOO impressed with your morning routine! ‘Atta girl! What commitment. Makes me feel like a sloth. It’s funny about the gluten-free thing. I’ve heard of a lot of people that feel better going on a wheat-free diet. Strange you didn’t notice a dairy intolerance before. But so glad you’re feeling better.
As for the blue shampoo vs. clarifying. Clarifying is for “gunk” build-up. If you use a lot of styling products—gels, mousses, leave-in moisturizers, then, yes, a clarifying shampoo is good for that, and it does leave your hair shinier (naturally, since it’s not dulled down by gunk build-up.) The blue shampoos depend on how much white you have in your hair. And if they begin to go off-color and turn a little yellow-y. That’s when a blue shampoo will “crisp” up the color. And, as I’ve said—don’t use them every shampoo, as they are drying, and overuse actually can give your hair a blue-ish cast. I use mine about once a month.
PS—I love Mediterranean eating MOST of all!!
Posted by on 08/24 at 10:13 AM
Diana, only once a month for the blue shampoo? I hadn’t realised they were drying to the hair. I was using it once a week but for the past 5 days have used it every day because I felt my hair looked a little yellowish. Perhaps I’d better reduce it again.
Sharon
Posted by on 08/24 at 11:45 AM
Thanks for the advice on the shampoos. I don’t have enough hair to worry about styling products, YET. I do use the Ojon shine spray, though.
Food is a funny thing with me. I diligently track what I eat. I noticed I would get congested and feel bloated after eating a meal with dairy in it. An intolerance to casein, apparently. It seemed wierd.
As I was researching gluten-free, lots of documentation mentioned eliminating dairy for the 1st two weeks as well. So that’s what I’m trying now. I’m still going to have feta and goat cheese now and again. It would be too hard to say I’m never eating it again! But I used to eat a lot of cottage cheese and yogurt on a daily basis, so I’ve given those items up. Biggest difference for me now is that I feel really AWAKE instead of sluggish. And I like that result.
Posted by on 08/24 at 12:29 PM
Eeeek, Moonlit! Do not use a blue shampoo every day! I’m surprised you weren’t noticing a little blue-ish cast to your hair. Some say you should use them every 4 or 5 shampoos. I guess it depends on how often you shampoo, but I just use them once a month. I suppose 2x a month wouldn’t be awful, it’s just that I like to use more moisturizing shampoos on my hair on a regular basis. I like the blue shampoos to give me a little “boost” once a month. But they don’t give you anything else. You say your hair is nice and soft and silky. Stick with the shampoos/treatments that give you that. The “blues” will take that yellow cast out, but it shouldn’t come back so fast that you have to use them every day.
Posted by on 08/24 at 03:20 PM
Thanks for that Diana. I’ve just had a good look at my hair in daylight and I can’t notice any bluish tint. I don’t want my hair to dry out though so I’ll go back to my moisturising shampoo and just use the blue if it starts to look yellowy again.
Sharon
Posted by on 08/25 at 12:30 AM
Sharon-
I was doing the blue shampoos too much also...thank goodness I mentioned here and got a gentle 
reminder from Diana to cut back to about 2x a month...it saved me from being called a old “Blue Hair” by some random teenie bopper who cut me off in traffic! heehee
How long is your hair getting, Sharon??
~dede
Posted by on 09/01 at 06:22 AM
Hello Dede
My hair is growing at a rapid speed. It is about 4 and a half months since the cut and it is nice to see my curls returning. Sometimes I fancy keeping it short but when I look at photos of Yasmina Rossi I know I want to try it long and silver so I’m going to go for it.
Sharon
Posted by on 09/01 at 08:01 AM
Sharon-
Long and silver sounds great to me too! Ah...Yasmina, what an amazing inspiration! Don’t ever doubt that you look great with your hair at any length!
~dede
Posted by on 09/02 at 02:04 AM
Hi Sharon and everyone
I have been using Phyto whitening shampoo daily since having my final cut 4 months ago, and I love it. I would highly recommend it. It’s available online in the UK, the first bottle lasted for 3 months.
I love my grey hair. The final cut was severe but so worth it! It’s growing now and becoming softer round my face.
I stopped colouring mid January (dark brown) and had the final cut 26th April. I suppose that was a quick turnaround but it seemed like ages, watching those roots everyday......
This site has kept me going and I still look in eagerly everyday to see new photos. How beautiful the women look when the dyed hair colour is gone and natural skin tones blend with the natural hair colour.
Here’s to us!
Marilyn
Posted by on 09/14 at 01:56 PM
Hello Marilyn - our time lines are very similar. I had my final dye on 22nd December 2007 and had the last of the dyed hair cut off April 9th. How does your hair feel using the Phyto shampoo every day? Any dryness? And any blue or purple cast to the hair?
Sharon
Posted by on 09/14 at 02:26 PM
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