I just read this part of the forum and thought I’d jump in and wake it up again. 

I told my hubby, son, & daughter that I was going to grow out my gray and not color anymore in March.  I had had my last color.

Hubby is fine with whatever I choose.  He continues to tell me I’m beautiful. (to him! LOL) Daughter was fine with it and when I sent her pix of the new short haircut she said it looks “fun & sporty”.  Son said that if I was going to grow it out to NOT have that line!  Hahaha!  He doesn’t understand that is impossible.  He has taken a few days to get used to it and tells me I don’t have a fat face.  I said I think this haircut makes my face look fatter. 

I won’t see my sibs & parents until July and it will be interesting to see what they say.  Mom has never colored and not been too thrilled that I did.  (She got a picture of the new cut and proclaimed it cute.) One sister is quite blond and doesn’t color or need to either.  The other sister has plenty of gray and has been coloring on her own for many years.  I’m the youngest.

I spent today with 2 friends visiting quilt shops!  One knew the haircut was new and interested that I’m growing out my color b/c of $.  She colors quite regularly.  I noticed we now have the same haircut but hers is straight.  Both are 15 yrs older than me.  They loved the comment when I said I was going “pewter with ice highlights”!!  I love that!

Posted by J~ on 05/24 at 05:33 PM

My second appointment was supposed to be this past Thursday but my husband had asked me to wait. So I rescheduled for this coming Thursday. Even though he would not say it, I think he wasn’t to happy last month with the very short hair. This haircut may do it and after the initial shock and the ease of short hair, I’m looking forward to it. Since I have made this decision I have delibirately stopped women, who I know have stopped coloring their hair, to tell them how beautiful I think their hair is. Alot of them are surprised but I’m noticing more and more women choosing this path. My older sisters still color and I have not told them I have stopped coloring mine. But come August when we get together for my oldest sister’s birthday, I’m sure it will set me back a step or two. I’m glad I have made this decision and I will not turn back based on what other people think I should do.

Posted by abouttobegray on 05/25 at 07:50 AM

Hi Abouttobegray -

Sounds like you’re on your way!

I don’t know how short you went, but it sounds like it was a shock for your husband. But hey, hair grows! So, it’ll be back. :o)

I’ve also made the decision not to worry about what anyone thinks. My gray is beginning to peek through my layers with dye, and at first I was very self conscious. Now I think, “hey, I am different - and it’s fun!” I’m no longer an average looking brunette...now I’m beginning to shine. :o) I’m sure some, and maybe many, wouldn’t agree. But that’s okay!

I will see extended family in July. I haven’t seen most of them since last October - a month before I stopped dyeing...so, they are gonna be surprised! I have always been the most vain person in the entire family - on both sides - so I’m looking forward to seeing their faces and hearing their comments. Both you and I will certainly have some stories to share. :o)

It would be great if you sent in a picture, and joined us in the newbies section! We could cheer you on better that way! Even if not, keep us posted on your progress!

Posted by greeneyes on 05/25 at 10:40 AM

Hi greeneyes, I think we will either be the gossip after the reunions with our families or, knowing my sisters, they will try to convince me I am to young to quit coloring my hair. I tried two years ago and my son and one of my sisters shamed me into coloring again. But this time I am so determined. I can see the sides of my hair almost white and it is, kind of, exciting. My hair is super short and after one more cutting this week, my color should be gone. I’m glad I found this website, it is really encouraging to know we are not alone in feeling this way. Fear of what others think becomes less and less important over the years and I actually feel empowered knowing I am not putting those dangerous chemicals on my head any longer. I would love to hear how your reunion goes and I will let you know how my son handles it when I see him June 7th. Wish me luck!

Posted by abouttobegray on 05/26 at 03:29 PM

Abouttobegray - Yeah, I think you and I will be getting some extra attention this year. :o)

Sorry to hear you already know some of your family isn’t behind you on this decision. My mom is my greatest cheerleader - she never colored a strand of hair, and didn’t understand why I wanted to color mine. It’s the rest of the family, especially my in-laws. They know nothing of my gray adventure. I’m gonna be disappointed if they don’t give me some “fun” comments. I’m actually looking forward to it. :o) Well, most of the time…

This website has also really helped me. I had already made my decision to go gray before finding it, but I honestly don’t believe I would have continued without all of these great ladies to prop me up from time to time.

I’m with you. No more chemicals baked into our scalp. Yay!

Best wishes with your son! It just may take him awhile to get used to his new mom. :o) My son is 19 and hasn’t said much so far. In December, I told him I wasn’t coloring my hair any more. A couple of weeks after that, he said, “I thought you weren’t coloring your hair anymore.” :o) As if I was going to turn gray overnight. Oh, how I wish it was that quick and easy! :o)

Posted by greeneyes on 05/27 at 06:20 AM

Diana - Yeah...I am wondering if we may not need some support at these reunions! :o) At least we can log on here and get some, if needed.

If I see/hear any chirping flies, I will think it’s you! :o)

Posted by greeneyes on 05/27 at 06:23 AM

Hey!  I didn’t realize I was missing all this great chat!  I really love to hear all the stories and meet the newest newbies!

Here’s a summary of my family/friends’ reactions so far:

Boyfriend:  “Love you and support you no matter what.” When I say “I love it--do you love it??” (which I do often), he nods, but who knows what he’s really thinking : - )
Son (15):  “I thinks it’s good.  It’s natural.”
Mother:  “Well good for you but I’M not going to do it...”
Sister:  “Go for it, but I’m not ready to be gray...”
Brother :  I see him about once of month.  His eyes go huge as he stares at the top of my head.  Then he chuckles and says “Holy!  Look at all the gray!”
Co-workers:  “Go Lisa, go Lisa...”

Several of my female friends are generally perplexed about my wanting to do this and don’t think it looks so great, so I don’t bother asking for their input anymore.

I echo greeneyes:  I’m glad I will never have to know what it’s like to go through this transition without the support of everyone on this site.  It has been invaluable and I’m sure I would’ve caved without seeing how great gray can look and feel!

Thanks again to the great webmistress Diana for giving us this space.

Lisa

Posted by newbie2 on 05/27 at 09:40 AM

You know, it is great chat! I didn’t know a chat room about gray hair existed and if I had known two years ago, maybe, I would have had the strength to do it then. But there is strength in numbers and letting go of alot of the anxiety about gray hair has helped me tremendously. What a great group of women. Very HAPPY I found this sight! May just have to send in my picture after my next big reveal this Friday. Thanks, Ya’ll!!!

Posted by abouttobegray on 05/27 at 04:31 PM

Hey greeneyes and abouttobegray.....when my BOL had strong objections about me wanting to go gray, I pulled up this website and showed him that going gray doesn’t have to involve support hose and singing hymns in the lavatory. He was actually impressed with all the chic looking ladies.

My sweet husband is loving it, but my Mom....Oy Vey! She HATES it and when I got back from visiting her recently, I seriously considered coloring again.

But reason prevailed and I logged on here and felt all good about it again. Don’t let ‘em get to you!

Posted by Shernobyl on 05/30 at 12:48 PM

Hey everyone, Well there is no about to be gray after today. As of 4:00 P.M. EST, all my color is gone. My hair is the shortest it has ever been. I got some strange looks at the salon but, you know what, I don’t care! My husband wasn’t as floored as I thought he would be and that was a big relief. To tell the truth, I am just glad that part of this process is over. I came home, put a little makeup on, and went out to dinner with my husband. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Posted by abouttobegray on 05/30 at 03:43 PM

abouttobegray - aka ALREADY GRAY -

Congratulations! Being dye-free is certainly something to celebrate!

Would love to see a picture! No pressure, but I really enjoy seeing great grays!

Posted by greeneyes on 05/30 at 03:52 PM

Whoa! I just got back from having the last of my gray whacked off too! Same thing. REALLY short but as I told my husband, the good news is that what grows out now is mine, all mine!
Congrats! It’s all good now!

Posted by Shernobyl on 05/30 at 04:27 PM

Hopefully I can post a picture in a few weeks. I’m leaving to help my sister out since my elderly Mom has been hospitalized.
But I’d love to show it off. I loved Elizabeth’s description of “cutting it down to the wood”. I was really getting tired of that two-toned look.
What I love about this site is that so many of the women are voicing things that I’ve felt or thought.
I find myself nodding my head as I read the posts or laughing out loud at some of the observations.
Truly Diana,your book with all of the photos, hair and makeup tips has been life saving!
As I’ve been switching over to more silver jewelry and a cooler clothes palette...its been fun. Kind of like when I was a young women and was finding out what makeup worked for me and what didn’t . It’s been a fun process.
At any rate, I’ll post a pic as soon as possible.

Posted by Shernobyl on 05/30 at 05:52 PM

Well, my first hurdle is over. I saw my son this weekend at the B-52 and Cyndi Lauper concert in Washington, D.C. and his first comments were, “Well, you and Dad have the same haircut now” but later he told me, “Mom, I’ve been trying to figure out who you look like”, and then he said, “Jamie Lee Curtis”. Boy, don’t I wish! I’m just kind of relieved he wasn’t upset and I assured there is no going back for me. This is it. I’m so thrilled that I have done this, I feel like a new person. When I can get a picture up, I will post one. I LOVE MY SHORT HAIR!!!!! Hope all ya’ll are having a GREAT GRAY day. Talk to you soon.

Posted by abouttobegray on 06/09 at 05:21 PM

abouttobegray - Great to hear the good report! Can’t wait to see your picture!

Posted by greeneyes on 06/09 at 07:15 PM

Hello, All.

Newbie here… I posted a bit in another area… but I wanted to share some reactions I got this weekend.  Because my hair is short and red that little halo after 2 weeks is very visable when you look at me straight on. So here’s the reaction so far:

Identical Twin Sister (ITS): “Wow, switching to red hair really maade your roots show more. When are you going to color again?”

Me: “I’m not coloring it anymore. I’m letting it grow out.”

ITS: “Great. You’ll make me look younger.”

And then there was the conversation with my friends at a karate tournament this weekend. They are used to me changing hair color/cuts every six months...I train in American Tang Soo Do and usually change my hair with every switch in belt color.

Karate Friends: “What are you going to do to your hair next? Are you going to do something really cool for your next test?”

Me: “Actually, I think I’ll go platinum - naturally. I have so much white and silver coming in that if I let it grow in now it’ll look great by the time I test for black belt.”

Karate Friends: “THAT will look SO cool.”

And my favorite…

Niece (who is an artist and has long hair she has colored black and white): “You are so gonna rock the white with red tips as it grows out.”

Now that’s cool!

Posted by karate_mom on 06/22 at 02:58 PM

Hey karate_mom, It must be so great to have that much encouragement as you go through this transition. I’ve been going down this road for several months now and after the initial shock, I feel terrific about this decision. The pressure of not having to color my hair every four weeks, the knowledge that I am not putting those dangerous chemicals on my head, my scalp not itching anymore, I could go on and on. My biggest hurdles are ahead of me with my two sisters, because I am the youngest and they still color but I’M READY. Platinum will go great with any belt color. WAY TO GO! Hang in there and it will get easier. Debbie

Posted by abouttobegray on 06/24 at 03:19 AM

It seems something I didn’t have in common with many of you and your decision to go natural is I was not married so I wasn’t worried about chopping off my hair or the reaction it would cause. As I’ve said on the site the only one to voice any kind of opinion was my daughter who is now herself going natural. I’ve changed hairdressers a few times since my original chop and only one has said anything to me about coloring my hair even though she told me she loved the color. I think maybe the hairdressers out there might get a bit nervous seeing this site and all the women who are deciding they’ve had enough of the color game. I know it’s a big part of their business. 

We have to be the ones to change the perception of women with gray hair. We are not our mother’s gray hair generation. I’m not sure that’s putting it right, hope you know what I mean. We are so different and I do think we will play a big part in our daughters decision to color or not to color.  We’re paving the way at least I think we are.

Posted by sallee on 07/18 at 03:07 PM

I have never felt so good about going gray and I only wish I had done it years ago. No more scratching head from hair color and I love the way my gray looks. It is totally different than I expected. My stylist gave me two months before I started coloring again, my only regret,not betting her money. Go girls! Let’s show everyone we are not old and gray but young and vibrant and ready to tackle the world. No longer abouttobegray, but allthewaygray. Have a great summer!!

Posted by abouttobegray on 07/20 at 04:28 PM

I know it’s totally freeing isn’t it? I was always concerned about roots. I did have a bit of an advantage though, I’m 5’10” and not too many people can see the top of my head! But I knew when they were showing and right before I quit coloring I was having it done about every 3 weeks and that’s when I realized how much I was spending. I think not knowing what color it will be really does keep a lot of women from going for it, but how will you know unless you do? I say take a walk on the wild side and go for it, and like you, abouttobegray, they may find a beautiful color that’s all their own and free to boot. You have a great summer too and lets see a picture.

Posted by sallee on 07/21 at 08:04 AM

My husband will have to take my picture because the ones I keep taking of myself are not very good. But I love my short hair and although my hair has been short in the past, it has never been this short. But I do love it and the reaction from tons of women approaching me while I am working is so positive. So many come up to me and say they wish they could be that brave. I always take this as a huge compliment. Alot don’t know whether to approach me but when I smile and say hi, they are eager to talk. My intent now is just spread the word and encourage other women who may be reluctant to go this route but it is possible and so FREEING!! love ya’ll, keep up the good work!!

Posted by abouttobegray on 07/21 at 08:58 AM

I, too, was always concerned about the roots showing.  Seemed I was always apologizing when I would bend over saying “sorry if I blind you”.
As I was getting my hair cut with one stylist, the one next door said “oh, I love your color” not meaning the silver of course, made me think for one short instant.  Even though my stylist didn’t take me as short as I wanted, I’m thrilled with my decision to go gray.  Next time it’s going shorter and I can’t wait to see what comments I get from people around me. Can’t wait to be where you guys are.

Rosa

Posted by Rosa on 07/22 at 05:31 AM

Hi Rosa, went and saw your pics. Pretty soon no roots to worry about. We’ll all be interested to hear what people have to say. I truly believe most women want to do what we’re doing or have done but are just afraid. I hope they come across this site and gather courage from everyone and come to see Diana as the fearless leader in the quest to free women from the mistaken idea that “gray” hair equals old. Not embracing new ideas and staying stuck in the past, that makes one old. Here’s to changing the old way of thinking one “gray” head of hair at a time!

Posted by sallee on 07/22 at 02:48 PM

Hi Sallee,

I have a story for you...You reminded me of it when you shared how you are tall and not many people are able to see your roots.
Well...I am 5ft 4 1/2 inches tall (never forget the 1/2;-)

My story goes like this...On July 11th 1992 (I was 23 years old) good friends of mine were getting married and a group of us were standing outside waiting to throw birdseed at them as they exited the church. Another friend of mine, we called him Rosey (he is 6ft 5inches)is standing next to me.  All of a sudden he tells me to stand still because there’s something in my hair! (I thought it was a bug of course) He proceeds to brush his hand over the top of my head to get this “powder like substance” off of the top of my head! I finally realized what he was talking about… pushed his hand away and told him “it’s not goin’ anywhere”!!! I then said,"it’s gray hair you goofball! your messing up my hair”! He then proceeded to take a closer look and shout..."you have gray hair! And...a lot of it”!!! I looked up at him and said,"thanks Rosey...thanks ”

I was paranoid after that experience and was constantly on “root watch”! I am sooooo glad to be free of that! But it sure is funny to think back to that day and laugh about it now! 

Oh the beauty and advantages of being tall! By the way...your hair looks great! Your beautiful skin and smile will be complete with your silver frame of hair!

Journey on!

Posted by elizabeth on 07/30 at 06:02 AM

Hi...This message is for Sandy and Sallee,

I goofed! Sandy, it was your “newbie” story that jogged my memory back to 1992...Sallee, your a wonderful inspiration to me!  I wish I could keep everyones names and story straight in my head...I’m gonna blame it on the “gray matter” that’s been dripping onto my hair since I was 16!

Sorry for the goof up…

Posted by elizabeth on 08/01 at 05:06 AM

Well,I guess it has to happen once in a while...I got some negative feedback from one of my oldest (i.e. childhood) friends last night.  She hadn’t seen me since last fall when I wasn’t far into transitioning.  When she saw me she said “Your hair!” and sounded surprised but not undelighted.  So a few minutes later I asked “So what do ya think??” And she said “I like the cut.  I don’t like the gray.  I think it makes you look older.” She then admitted that it was a preconceived notion that gray=older, not that I specifically looked older to her.  She said “I’d colour it brown and add blond hilights.  It’ll take ten years off!” I said, “Well, I won’t be doing that.” I told her that I liked it and that in fact I was looking forward to having more silver in it.  She said “What??  That’s ridiculous.  That’s like wanting another wrinkle!” *Sigh* I’ll have to file her under “Friends that don’t get it.”

Posted by newbie2 on 08/07 at 05:24 AM

Yup, I told her that I was doing this for myself but that I do hope my being out there gray in my forties helps change the gray=old perception.  The more of us there are, the more we’ll dispell that notion.

Posted by newbie2 on 08/07 at 05:39 AM

Sometimes the initial shock is just too much for them. hee hee hee… Sorry to hear this woman’s perception of gray....but I guess she’s more normal than we are...at least for now. But yes, we are helping to change the notion that gray must = old. Yes we are!!!

I still get a giggle when I remember one of my in-law’s facial expressions when she first saw me. She seemed to go from surprise to horror to sadness to pity for my silly self. :o) I almost thought she was going to cry! She tried to compliment my cut while her eyes were glued to my hair. Then she mentioned something about the salt and pepper - how it made me look like my mom - and I didn’t feel it was a compliment from her (though I am great with looking like my mom - she’s an attractive woman and a really great gray in my opinion.)

Well, anyhow. I get bugged by these negative feelings and reactions, but then I remember..."Oops! That was ME not so long ago! But look at me NOW!” :o)

Posted by greeneyes on 08/07 at 05:51 AM

So true, greeneyes.  That was me as well.  It really is quite amusing, that mix of horror and pity that some people react with.  I loved the wrinkle comment my friend made, the suggestion that this particular colour--gray-- is so HIDEOUS that we can’t possibly welcome it, that it must be banished!  I guess we shouldn’t be surprised in this youth-oriented culture that people don’t understand embracing any natural process that is associated with aging (although those of us in the know know that it can happen very young).  Keep on working that salt n’ pepper there, greeneyes, and I’ll keep working it here in Canada!

Posted by newbie2 on 08/07 at 05:58 AM

The wrinking comment reminds me...our local Sunday paper had a feature on coloring your own hair at home. They actually said if you didn’t cover your gray, it drew attention to your lines and wrinkles. I promptly began talking OUT LOUD to that silly paper and letting it know that dyed hair accentuates wrinkles, not your natural colors. Course I did let it know that if your color job is bad enough or too harsh, then YES! People won’t get past the hair to see those wrinkles!!! :o) I guess we just have to laugh at times - at our frustrations and at others’ misconceptions.

Once again, what would we do without Diana and this wonderful site!? :o)

Posted by greeneyes on 08/07 at 06:08 AM

Hello to all you lovely silvers, whites, salt and peppers, etc., etc.  This the newest newbie Lulu.  I have been going through all the chat sites and am constantly being more and more inspired and committed to this transition.  Just had to mention that my Husband has been very supportive, although I do detect some unease.  I have not mentioned to him that I have noticed this.  It most certainly will affect him and I can appreciate this.  He has never known me without my colored hair!!  My oldest Daughter is my number one FAN, she is so supportive and can always make me laugh!!  As for extended Family Members, they will just have to accept the new me!!  The most important thing I can do is accept myself.  It will still be me only better and much happier.  Lulu

Posted by lulubell on 08/10 at 08:30 AM

Hi lulubell,
I haven’t been here in several months because of helping my sister with elderly parents...but when I get home I want to send a photo of my new salt and pepper hair. Actually, I guess it should really be described as “salt and paprika” hair because the hair that remains my natural color is auburnish red.

But I really liked your comment about accepting yourself.

I know we all wish that everyone seeing us growing out the gray wouldn’t equate it to “letting go” of ourselves or still see how sexy and vital we all still are...but I’ve learned that its just gonna’ be what its gonna’ be.

Some of my friends RAVE about my hair and swear sincerely that it doesn’t age me and others say frankly (including and especially my Mom) that it adds ten years to my age.

Several times I’ve dreamed about coloring my hair again and how upset I was when I did it because it was just that flat ole’ artificial colors instead of all the variants of shades now.

The upshot of all this is that people will think what they’re gonna’ think and I ultimately am learning not to mind the naysayers and like it because I like it. (although it does help that my husband loves it).

Decide what’s best for you! 

Posted by Shernobyl on 08/12 at 05:19 PM