LOL, try being a college student and being premature gray.  Here are some of the questions and comments given to me:

1. “Is that your real hair?”

2. “Wow!  Awesome dye job!”

3. “Don’t you feel old?”

4. “How come you don’t color?”

Posted by kendall88athlete on 01/04 at 09:23 AM

When I was about forty-two, I gave a lecture to a group of senior citizens, and my husband was in the audience.  He told me afterwards that one of the women told him that I should color my hair, because it would “make me look younger”.  His response was wonderful, and typical: “It’s her hair, and I’d love her no matter what she chose to do with it.” Never once did he, or anyone in my family, suggest that I color my hair.  I suspect they knew what response they’d get!

If you’re happy with your hair color, keep it. Flaunt it. And remind others that it’s your choice, not theirs!

Posted by dwntwnfem on 01/20 at 05:56 PM

LOL, you go dwntwn!!  I bet you turn a lot of heads, chica?!

Posted by kendall88athlete on 01/20 at 08:43 PM

I just turned 48 last weekend and am beginning to go gray.  I have never colored my hair and don’t want to start now.  My sisters and co-workers often tell me that I need to color my hair or get some highlights, but I want to age naturally and gracefully.  I’m sure your book will have lots of answers for me.

Posted by Scarlett on 01/28 at 12:13 PM

My youngest daughter has been after me to let it “grow” gray for years. My entire family is being supportive. Secretly, I think my kids are tired of being sked if I’m their sister! lol

Lori

Posted by Plinkette on 02/11 at 09:41 AM

Nine days ago I cut off all my dyed hair.
It’s now about 1/2” long.
I thought I was going to throw up, but I did it.
My husband loves the color.
Neither of us is crazy about how short it is right now.
My mom’s freaking out. She isn’t old enough to have a gray-haired daughter.
My sister laughed and said she can’t wait until our next visit so she can point and laugh.  I think she was joking, but I’m not sure yet.
My best friend said I look like a fuzzy, white tennis ball.  Then rubbed my head and said I feel like one too.

The response, needless to say, has been mixed.

Posted by lisagreen on 02/26 at 09:12 PM

Ok ladies,
I have a problem. The right side of my hair is coming in a lot grayer than my left! My right temple is almost solid gray, other side has a few. But one can really notice the difference when my hair is pulled back in a ponytail. It is really noticable. Has anyone else had this problem?

I won’t be on much for a few days...my laptop’s hard drive crashed...hubby is working on it now...using my daughter’s computer for now.
Lori

Posted by Plinkette on 02/27 at 09:42 AM

Hi there Plinkette - Actually, when I first started growing out my gray it was just around my face and it looked REALLY strange.  But, once it grew out, it wasn’t so noticeable.  The light and dark just started blending together and it was really pretty.  I think it also looks a lot more natural.  You know when you see someone with a diy highlight and it’s VERY evenly placed?  Don’t worry, it’ll be gorgeous!!!!

Posted by lisagreen on 02/27 at 09:50 AM

Hi everyone.  I wanted to report back after my first trip home with no hair.

Mom was surprised.  She thinks it looks cute and spunky.
My step-dad said he thought I would look old, but I look sophisticated.
My grandson loves it.  He thinks it’s cool that we have the same hair cut.  I love that kid.
Both my sons loved it.
One daughter-in-law said she liked it.
One daughter-in-law said she hated it.  But it might be okay when it grows out.
My sister (the one who was going to laugh and point) said she thought it was adorable.
My other sister said she likes the short hair cut, but she’s not going gray.  (Who asked her to?)

It went better than I had anticipated.

Posted by lisagreen on 03/04 at 02:59 PM

Hi,been a few days since I’ve posted. My laptop’s hard drive crashed...lost a lot of stuff....but now have a bigger faster hard drive.
Anyway as I have posted previously, my husband and kids are all for me growing gray. I told my younger sister the other day....she said “you have always tried to be different, what ever makes you happy”. Mind you she just turned 40 and can still pluck the few grays she gets monthly. A few days later I spoke to her again and she said that when she got off the phone with me, when I told her,that she had turned around to tell her husband and had started crying as she was telling him I was letting my hair grow gray! She laughed and said she had no idea WHY she had that reaction, but I think it was because it was a day before she turned 40! LOL She has come to terms with it now. She lives in Ga and I live in IL, so she won’t see the progress but evey few months.

Lori

Posted by Plinkette on 03/04 at 05:33 PM

Hi Diana - You know it.  It was a pretty big relief.  My family, in case you hadn’t noticed, can be a bit outspoken.  I received your book yesterday.  What a great resource.  I have to tell you, I’ve always been careful with my skin.  Since I chopped off my hair, it’s become an obsession.  The chapter on skin care was awesome.  Thanks for all your work.

Posted by lisagreen on 03/05 at 11:09 AM

12green
I would love to to cut allmy dyed hair off but I’d have to wait until after june.My niece is getting married then. I don’t want to shock my in laws! lol I haven’t even mentiond growing gray to my in laws yet. Except for one sister in law.

Most of my friends who knew me in high school hasn’t been shocked when told I was letting my hair gray. <grin> My high schooldisctrict had a vocational high scool and I took Cosmetology,so I was always coming back to my regular high school with new color and cuts! There were about 6 of us that took it and we were often described as being “bold” with our hair. What they didn’t know is we had little choice because we had to work on each other for grades!

I will get some pictures to the site soon.I had loaded some that I lost when the hard drive bit the dust.

Lori

Posted by Plinkette on 03/05 at 11:50 AM

I had to jump in though I was previously hanging out in a different part of Cafe Gray…

Plinkette - I only have a little over an inch of my new growth which is a mix of white and dark brown, and I have also noticed one side of my head seems to be darker, or lighter as the case may be. In fact I knew this years ago, but had forgotten. A few years back I actually changed my part to the other side of my head for this reason. My colorist said she could see my new growth more on that side so I should consider switching to the side with less white. Well, at that time I was doing my darndest to hide the gray, so I switched. The other day when I was inspecting my new growth it dawned on me. I am planning to switch back to the whiter side of my head once I get more of the color cut off. Right now I am trying to look as good as possible with the growing out line. Anyhow, you are not alone in the unbalanced issue.

12green, I was so glad to hear your trip went well. More positive than negative! And just think, your hair is only going to get prettier!

None of my in-laws know I am growing my natural color, and absolutely no one in my extended family have seen me yet since we live states apart. Probably in the next couple of months we’ll be making a trip to see them all and I can only imagine what I will hear. :o)

Diana, I LOVE the changes on the site! You have added so much here and there and I have so enjoyed it! Thank you for taking the time! I especially like the added pictures. By the way, I finally happened upon your picture. I don’t know if it was always there and I was just missing it, but anyhow, your hair is beautiful! You are an inspiration to me, helping me hang in there and be patient!

I wonder if I would be strong enough to continue without this connection with other great grays and great grays-in-waiting… I’m glad I will never know. :o)

Posted by greeneyes on 03/05 at 07:24 PM

Uneven graying?  For me, it’s always been normal.  First one side more gray, then the other.  Then the back.  For a while, I worried about it.  Then I just decided that it was what it was, and concentrated on more dramatic makeup.  Anyone who didn’t/doesn’t like it—their problem, not mine!

Posted by dwntwnfem on 03/05 at 09:10 PM

Webmistress Diana -

Who knew it was so difficult to maintain a website, and at the same time try to guide a group of ladies to utilize it! :o) I’m impressed!

You’re doing great and we are enjoying it!

Posted by greeneyes on 03/06 at 09:14 AM

Don’t forget the stilettos and the whip!!! 

“Post you silver-haired vixens, POST!!! 

heheheh!

Posted by lisagreen on 03/06 at 10:45 AM

Now look what I found...a whole bunch of spunky ladies! Thanks for the morning laugh...I’m thinking you’d look pretty snazzy in a Wonder Woman suit Diana...except you wouldn’t need the crown...you already have one with your hair, it puts off a lot more fire and brillance!
These cafe chats remind me of Idgy’s saying in “Fried Green Tomatoes” TAWANDA!!!!!
It only takes a pebble to start a ripple effect!  Till next time...Elizabeth

Posted by elizabeth on 03/21 at 06:13 AM

My grandmother, mother and sister did not understand why I did not want to colour when I started going salt and pepper in my twenties. After all, they dyed and plucked. It took about 10 years but they have became somewhat resigned and just let me be me.

The other side, is that my other Grandma, Dad’s mom and my Dad have been silver for as long as I can remember. I always admired their white, silver hair and decided to emulate them.

My friends from childhood wonder why I don’t dye my hair. Whereas friends that I have made after going silver express horror at the thought. Perception is everything.

I am so glad that I found this site.

Thanks
Leigh

Posted by Leigh on 04/01 at 10:55 AM

Hi Leigh,

It’s so true about “perception”!

I’m glad that you found this site too;-)There’s a lot of support here and it’s such a great resource! I am still finding new and exciting information “hidden” like treasures within this site!
It’s also been a lot of fun getting to “chat” with everyone and soaking up the excitement and energy that these incredible women bring to the site.

Have a great day...it was nice meeting you and reading your story.

Posted by elizabeth on 04/01 at 11:41 AM

I sure could use a pick me up. I need to circle myself around strong confident women with gray hair. Why are female family members so unwilling to accept change. I’m starting to doubt my decision. I know, i know get a back bone. Thank G-d for this web site. The pictures of the women on this site don’t look old!

Posted by zoe on 04/04 at 02:14 PM

Hi Zoe - I know what you mean.  My mom cried when I chopped off my hair.  She said she wasn’t old enough to have a daughter with gray hair.  Well, if she wants to believe that, I guess that’s fine.  Frankly, her dyed brown hair was a major motivation to discontinue the dye myself.  I started taking a good look at the ladies in my family.  Every one of them keeps their hair dyed dark brown.  I don’t think they look younger than they are.  But they do.  I can’t tell you how glad I am that I made this decision.  I decided to crop, rather than transition.  That way there was no going back.  My only option was to cop an attitude and wait for it to grow back in glorious silver.  I actually emailed a picture to my mom to make it easier on her when she saw me with no hair.  When I went home, she was relieved to find that I haven’t permanently disfigured myself.  She was even gracious enough to admit that my skin tone looks better without the dark brown hair.  I think the contrast of my very pale complexion against that dark hair look harsh.  But, against the silver, what little color I have in my face really shines.  Hang in there.  Don’t cave in.  Stay away from the dark (hair dye) side.  Keep a smile on your face and a spring in your step.  Who knows, maybe - once you emerge as a silver fox - you may inspire others to be as confident and sassy as you are!!!!

Posted by lisagreen on 04/04 at 02:30 PM

Hi Zoe!

I agree with everything 12green said!

Many of us have gone through the “harsh comments”...I was a coach at the time for H.S. athletes...came to the pool one day with my head “shaved”...needless to say, that didn’t go over very well! I think most people thought I was having a “break down”! What young looking 36 year old woman would take her hair down to nothing???? To go gray!!!! Parents had harsh comments, athletes had harsh comments, my close friends and children were bummed out to say the least. The ONLY person that did not make fun of me to my face or behind my back, was my husband. I know, that I know, that I know...I did the right thing!!!I personally had a bad allergic reaction and that was the “push” for me. I also am known for being an “all or nothing” type personality, I had to just go for it and try my hardest not to look back. I have to say, I am glad to be on the “other side” of the transitioning, it was not very easy for me. I dealt with a lot of self-doubt and “do I look old” insecurities! It really deepens the amount of patience you have, something else I could use more of;-)

Hang in there Zoe!!! You wont have regrets at the end of this journey that you are on...own it...make it yours! Wish I could send ya a hug! Keep talking it through! We are all here to support you 110%!!!

Warm thoughts come your way!

Posted by elizabeth on 04/04 at 02:52 PM

Thanks 12green i feel better already. Your right i too have a mother who dyes her hair dark brown and the rest of the women in my family all dye their hair yuck! I think that’s why i didn’t want to keep dyeing it. I want to be different,an individual, and dye free. Besides i HATE ROOTS. Thank you. Hope you have a great weekend.

Posted by zoe on 04/04 at 02:55 PM

Thank you Elizabeth. Your experiences are showing me that my feelings about this journey are very normal. I know i can do this. Having you gals here is going to make it a breeze.
Take care

Posted by zoe on 04/04 at 07:22 PM

Hi Diana;
I wish pictures would help, but the women in my family are anti-gray. I’m lucky to have a supportive husband.( my kids aren’t sure yet) This journey is going to make me stronger and more confident which is far more important than brown hair.

Posted by zoe on 04/04 at 07:43 PM

I have a funny story to share. My husband, now 80% gray, and very supportive of my decision to nix the permanent color routine called me from Santa Fe, NM. (I’m in N. California at the present). We love Santa Fe with the colors and textures that abound and having a camera with him, thought he’d take a photo of a very attractive 50 plus salt and pepper haired woman since I’m considering some color changes in my makeup and wardrobe. Just as he was about to take the photo, he stopped....He could see himself at the police station trying to explain to the officer, “Really Officer, I wasn’t stalking this woman. My wife has decided to go gray and I was wanting to bring her home a photo of this lady to help her through this transition time.” Oh sure.....

Posted by Shara on 04/05 at 12:14 PM

I had my hair whacked off today and went to my pilates class afterwards, everyone noticed immediately. This is the shortest my hair has ever been and the longest time I have gone without coloring.  My stylist says she gives me two months before I put color back on. I have struggled with this decision for a long time and I don’t want to cave in due to what others think I should do. She says after one more appointment getting my hair as short as it is now, all color should be gone, four weeks. This site is very encouraging to me, seeing all the women deciding to go natural. You all look great and I would love to know if your children have given you a hard time ,as my son has. Love to know how I can handle this with him.

Posted by abouttobegray on 04/24 at 02:27 PM

Hi Abouttobegray,

My name is Elizabeth and I am a mother of 7 children, their ages range from 2-15.  I had a number of interesting comments/responses from my children after I cut my hair.

When I cut my hair it was dramatic and shocking for my children...they had never seen me with gray hair let alone shaved gray hair! (if you want to see pictures go to “great grays/elizabeths story") My younger children were “shocked"… I didn’t look like their mama! Our littlest girl would hold my face in her hands and stare into my eyes and then rub my head. My older children did not like the abrupt change, I didn’t have that familiar look anymore. 
As time went on, they of course got used to the “new look”. To be honest, I think that they would have had a much easier time adjusting had I not “shocked” them.
It sounds like you have been in the process of a slower transition. How old is your son? I found that my younger children had a much easier time getting over the change in hair color and length...my older ones wanted me to “change it back”. That was not an option, so...they talked about it a lot at first, said they didn’t like it...now they wouldn’t have me look any other way.

I think that when we make such a visual “identity” change it “rocks their world” at first...they do come around

Now for the FUN part...my older kids friends think my hair is “COOL”! Ahhhhh to be considered “COOL”

Posted by elizabeth on 04/24 at 04:23 PM