Greeneyes, we’ll have to tell Diana my “bounching” story. Mary Ellen, welcome. This site has been such a relief to me; to discover that I am not alone in my decision to be myself… gone gray and loving it.
Posted by on 11/11 at 05:03 PM
Café Gray
Conditioner—love it or leave it?
The most surprising thing I discovered when I conducted my first focus group of Great Grays was that most of them had given up on conditioners. Many claimed they left their hair too flat, too limp, too lifeless. If you’ll go back to Care & Treatment, you’ll find out why. Certain conditioners are good for limp hair, others are better for hair with good body and thickness—you have to know what’s in them. But I’m curious. At a time when hair is becoming more fragile, more dry, and more lackluster, why on earth do some women shun conditioners? Do you like products that simply provide shine without the de-tangling benefits? Do you prefer pomades or topical spray-on oils? Do you like leave-in conditioners, rinse-out conditioners, or no conditioners at all? Tell us what you use to get the kind of shine, texture and manageability you like. We’d all like to know.
Posted by on 12/06 at 03:27 PM
Lynn - Yes, the bouncing story is a good one. :o) I’m sitting here laughing as I think back to your stash of stories.
Posted by on 11/11 at 10:16 PM
Hi Runnergal,
I went to my local Sally’s and they didn’t know what I was talking about at first. Then I went walking through the store and found the item. I purchased the aloe one, just so that I could compare with WEN product. And do you know when I went to the counter to purchase it, they said that the item was so new they didn’t even realize that they carried it? I guess our grapevine travels faster than word of mouth!
Mary
Posted by on 11/12 at 06:07 AM
Mary,
That’s funny that they didn’t know they carried it! Please let me know how you like it. Have you used WEN? I’d love to know how it compares.
I’ve used it 3-4 times now and still really like it. I’m hoping the more I use it, the less frizzy my hair will be. I can already tell a difference. It’s way softer.
So let me know what you think!
Thanks!
Laura
Posted by on 11/12 at 08:42 AM
Hiya Jane
Re natural conditioners.
I have been having a good old hair and skin care rethink - I gave up the dye due to sensitivity reactions which I think might be due to fragrance and possibly parabens (preservatives) and SLS/SDS (detergent). It’s quite hard to find other hair and skincare products without those in.
Anyway, I have found a few natural products and I love them - I can post up the name of the website I ordered from if you like.
Also I recruited another silver sister - she eats all organic and lives a healthy lifestyle and had a sudden ‘why am I putting this lot on my head’ day and now her natural silvers are coming through!
I wondered - has anyone else gone over to a new way of thinking with lifestyle/diet/cosmetics etc. since they stopped dyeing?
Posted by on 11/19 at 09:04 AM
Ditch the dye. I agree. My hair is in the best shape it has ever been. I was looking at a very old picture of me when I was a kid (untouched) and it was so healthy and I think I’m back to that healthy head of hair… just very different color… woo hoo.
I have been using Pantene Silver Expressions since my transition (shampoo and conditioner) and am using Pantene Ice Shine mousse and my hair is better… I was using the same mousse that I had used when I colored and this new mousse seems to have better control… can’t tell that it is particularly shinier, but it isn’t standing on top of my head anymore.
And you know the coolest thing.... ? I don’t have split ends. Isn’t that crazy?
Posted by on 11/19 at 07:54 PM
Hi Lynn - yes I was amazed at the shine that my natural hair has too.
I just keep thinking - why did I dye it for so long?
Ahh freedom!
Posted by on 11/20 at 04:41 AM
Interseting visit to the hair salon this week for my first cut in 10 weeks! My stylist immediately asked what shampoo I was using because my hair looked oily to him. I told him (it was a salon shampoo I’d bought from him) and then informed him that I was washing my hair every second day because supposedly it stimulates the oil glands to wash every day. He said, actually, he never bought into that theory and thought that, with my hair being very fine and my scalp tending to be oily, I should probably wash every day. Which he said is fine with a pH balanced shampoo. He also said I only need to condition the ends, and not every time I shampoo. I said “But isn’t my gray hair fragile?” He said, “Actually I think gray hair is stronger than dyed hair.” Colour me confused!
Posted by on 11/25 at 06:07 AM
Well, Lisa, it’s your hairdresser who is a leeetle confused. You should show him the chapters in the book that talk about what gray hair is missing internally—its keratin bundles, proteins, etc. There is no doubt that dyed hair can be fragile as well, especially after years and years of dyeing, but if it isn’t missing its pigment in the inner core, it’s still got more internal strength. Which doesn’t mean overly processed hair can’t snap off quicker than unpigmented hair. Because, as you’ve found, your new silvers have more bounce, more resiliency. They act stronger. But, never forget, deep inside, they don’t have the “muscles.” That’s why you’ve always got to treat them with respect.
But on to the conditioning thing. Did you know Louis Licari, the color king, thinks women use too much shampoo, and should WASH with conditioner every other shampoo?
Yes, it all depends on your hair type, and yours is oily. Whatever shampoo you use, be stingy with it, because daily washing is drying, and there is no way around that. Just treat your HAIR very gently—it’s the SCALP you have to address.
Posted by on 11/25 at 07:50 AM
Lisa,
I totally buy into the “wash your hair more often and the more often you have to wash” theory. I really believe your hair adjusts to whatever you are doing to it over time. I used to wash my hair every other day, but now only wash twice a week. I tend to have oily hair, but gradually over time my hair adjusted and it’s fine with only twice a week. On the other hand, I have two friends that MUST wash their hair every day because they’ve been doing that for a long time, which I don’t think is good for your hair. He might be right about the conditioner. You might not need to condition your scalp every time you wash.
Oh, and when I have to go extra time without washing my hair, I sometimes put a little baby powder on my hair to help with the oil. It gets me through that day.
Posted by on 11/25 at 09:08 AM
Well, I am confused now. But I have very dry skin and I guess scalp. I have started washing every other day and condition only once a week unless it has been really windy (which is pretty often here in the DFW area) and my hair is better. Sometimes when I would color my hair dark, it seemed healthier than when I was peroxiding it blonde ... but my hair is extremely healthy now and growing… it always seemed to be so brittle and broken when I colored and now I have gone months without a cut (other than my bangs). But I don’t have the oil problem...quite the opposite. I am so dry that when I put lotion on my hands, I rub the excess on the the ends of my hair and then kind of rub from the crown down to keep the new little hairs from sticking straight up.
Posted by on 11/25 at 10:12 AM
Thanks for the input. Another question: Do those of you who wash every other day or less often do the lather, rinse, repeat, or do you just wash once?
Posted by on 11/25 at 10:15 AM
I only wash once, but I think it depends on the type of hair you have and how much of it you have. I have a lot of body in mine (when I get it cut super short, it will stand straight up). So on the days I don’t wash it, it has a really nice wave to it and is really smooth.
Mary
Posted by on 11/25 at 10:32 AM
When I use regular shampoo, I do wash twice, only because I wash so infrequently. But lately I’ve been using that Hair One product, which isn’t a shampoo, and I only use it once.
Posted by on 11/25 at 10:55 AM
Hi
I have definitely noticed a difference in my hair since stopping dyeing - it’s really shiny - I even sent Diana a picture of the shine! I had forgotten that my ‘real’ hair tends to be quite limp and can be greasy. When I was dyeing I quite often used to ‘wash’ with just conditioner or I’d get quite dry and crispy hair ends.
I have been trying out non SDS/SLS shampoos and natural conditioners - these seem to be much kinder to my sensitive scalp. I use ‘Naked’ or my faves at Handmade Naturals (you can Google it).
Runner Gal - what is Hair One? - I dont think we get that in the UK.
Newbie 2 asked do we wash, rinse and repeat? - usually I just wash once but non SDS shampoos don’t lather up as much so sometimes I wash twice. I once heard that ‘wash, rinse and repeat’ was made up by shampoo companies to double their sales as you use twice as much product - has anyone else heard that one?!
Posted by on 11/26 at 02:17 AM
Hi Silverlake—nice to hear from you! 
Just thought I’d remind you, on the conditioner front, look for products with ceramides in them, not silicones, if you have limp hair. Silicones tend to weigh hair down because they’re just a little heavier.
Yes, this wash-rinse-and-repeat “strategy” is not a myth. I said in here somewhere that use-up rate is factored right into the cost of goods. So naturally, companies want to encourage use. If your hair is loaded with gunky styling products, ok, I’d lather twice, but that’s the only reason. Of course, you could always use a clarifying shampoo for that, and lather once!
Would you spell out your non-SDS/SLS for our readers? I’m assuming you mean Surfactant/Detergent/Sulfites and Sodium Lauryl Sulfate. Is that it? And when you said you used “Naked”, do you mean Naked Naturals Shampoo?
Posted by on 11/26 at 03:37 AM
Hi Diana
Great to hear from you too - as you can tell I am a hair products junkie, in a harmless sort of way 
. I love trying new hair stuff.
SLS - sodium lauryl sulphate also known as sodium dodecyl sulphate (SDS), a very effective de-greaser and detergent.
‘Naked’ is http://www.nakedbodycare.co.uk - I buy that at ‘Boots’ chemists in the UK, and handmade naturals is http://www.handmadenaturals.co.uk - they do international mail order. I looked at ‘Naked Naturals’ products which look great, but I don’t think we can get them in the UK.
Thank you for the tip about ceramides - I’ll try that (when I’ve finshed up some of the many bottles of this and that that I have on the go at the moment!). Please tell me I’m not the only person to have bathroom shelf full of stuff I really ought to use up !
Posted by on 11/26 at 04:54 AM
Oh my gosh! I have so many bottles of shampoos, conditioners, styling products, skincare lotions, serums, creams, cleansers, scrubs, toners… it would probably take a couple of years for me to use them all. But I want MORE! hee hee hee… Honestly, I think I have a problem. :o) I feel better Silverlake, knowing you are stocked up as well.
Posted by on 11/26 at 07:18 AM
My mom always jokes that I could open my own store with all the products I have. But I’m TRYING to use them up and not buy more until I do. It’s hard, because I like variety! I get bored using the same stuff again and again. And I’m all about SMELL so if something is really yummy smelling I have a hard time resisting it. And like with skin care, I can’t tell what really works for me because sometimes I think it’s just a good hair day (or not). I do need to find a styling product with ceramides, though. The shine enhancer I have now has silicone.
Posted by on 11/26 at 07:24 AM
Silverlake,
Hair One is a natural, sulfate free “Hair Cleanser and Conditioner”. It doesn’t lather up like shampoo, but rather feels like a conditioner. Really, it’s a WEN knockoff. Do you get WEN products in the UK? I looked on the label and I don’t see either ceramides or silicones. Either I don’t know what to look for, or because this isn’t really a conditioner it doesn’t have eihter one? Not sure.
And I’m guilty of hording beauty products, too. It’s funny, but if I really love something, half the time I won’t use it cuz I don’t want it to run out! Crazy.
Posted by on 11/26 at 07:55 AM
Hi Greeneyes and Newbie2
Oh I feel so much better now that I know I am not the only one with a (very) well-stocked bathroom cupboard 
Fortunately I have 3 teenage neices who come to visit, and they are always welcome have a try out and maybe take the bottle away too.
My other top tip is to use up bits of moisturisers on my feet and legs or as handcream.
My shine spray has silicones too I wonder if there is one without?
Posted by on 11/26 at 07:57 AM
Yup, I give my nieces stuff, too (they’re 15, twins). Then I feel like I’m not wasting stuff. I use up my moisturizers that way, too!
Posted by on 11/26 at 08:06 AM
Hi all—most shine sprays do use silicones—that’s what produces the high-gloss shine. It’s a topical thing, so you can control the amount you spritz on. If you find your hair gets limp, just use less. Conditioners are another story because they coat the hair shaft. I haven’t seen any shine sprays with ceramides, but I’ll look.
Well, I just got back from a quick, last minute trip to the market, pre-Thanksgiving, and what did I buy? YUP, more hair products! I think we’re all on the search for the holy Grail! 
Posted by on 11/26 at 09:23 AM
It’s like the elusive perfect red lipstick I keep searching for…
Posted by on 11/26 at 09:26 AM
True Red by Loreal...doesn’t turn orange.
Posted by on 11/26 at 09:32 AM
Thanks Lynn, but unfortunately I find Loreal lipsticks have a perfumy smell and I can’t wear them! I like my lipsticks to be smell-less and tasteless (hmmm, that doesn’t sound quite right 
)
Posted by on 11/26 at 09:35 AM
I can vouch for Lynn’s nice red lipstick. :o) Applied regularly.
Wow Diana. Brave soul. I went to the grocery yesterday and barely got out without a shopping cart injury. :o) It was a wild crowd out there. I was bopping along, drinking my pumpkin spice latte...but a lot of the crowd just wasn’t in the holiday spirit. :o)
Posted by on 11/26 at 10:04 AM
Actually, did the “major” shopping a few days ago, but you know how you always forget a few things. Believe me, I didn’t want to go! Went early, wasn’t too bad, but you could tell the momentum was building. Gee, wish I had a pumpkin spice latte. You’ve inspired me. Think I’ll go brew a little espresso, and put a drop of Bailey’s “caramel” in it! See what you started? OK, everybody, step away from those pie crusts—TIME OUT!!
Posted by on 11/26 at 11:04 AM
Next entry: Anti-aging for your hair
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recent entries
- New Year, New US!
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- Silence is not Golden
- Silver & The City
- See You in September!
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- Let’s Hear It For The Newbies!
- Color me crazy!
- The Best and Worst of Being Gray
- What do YOU think about going gray?
- Playing the waiting game?
- Calling all “preemies”
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- What are you afraid of?
- Anti-aging for your hair
- Conditioner—love it or leave it?
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