Café Gray

Color me crazy!

As we speak, I’m sitting here in a crunchy beige tweed sweater (at least with small flecks of gold in it for a little life), and a long beige skirt. Deep winter brings out the back-of-the-closet stuff!  But this was an outfit I always loved. Sure, I did all the tricks to “warm up” my face – even used a dab of the Clinique bronzer I wrote about in Winter Weary. And it works all the way up to my hair. The silver/pewter/ice tones in it want something better. I am reminded again that there are colors we can “own” and colors we just shouldn’t bother with. I’ll continue to wear this, but not if I’m going out, or someplace where I really want to shine. What I want to know is – do you have colors you find hard to give up on? 

Posted by Diana Jewell on 02/04 at 10:17 AM

Oh my...do you have a camera hidden in my spare room?  At least three times lately I have taken a solemn, ceremonial trip to the guest room closets with a determined mindset to weed the closets of the formerly great but now offending colors!

My progress is...slow but steady!  Some things just are hard to say goodbye to as in the luscious burnt orange cashmere cardigan that was an extraordinary cozy comfort through many a fall and winter excursion.  Down to the orange cotton slouchy Talbots cardigan that was the most extraordinary neutral...it amazingly went with almost anything! Slouchy wonderful sweater. Then there are the funky beige fabric high heel peep toes with orange leather trim that I got one season ahead of the peep toe craze and still had high hopes for putting on miles:-(

Short story long huh!  Short answer. Its not easy to let go:-)

And while for you that beige number with the gold flecks may not have the oomph and great feeling in the outside world now that it used to, its still a link to another time, place, feeling perhaps that you love?  In that case, I’d consider it a positive selfish indulgence...a personal hug.  An adult ‘blankie’? BUT...I totally agree...don’t wear it out:-) AND when we replace these things it will be with colors that we love AND play up our ‘colors’! Right?

I made my semi-annual sales coups this month.  One score was a gray cashmere cardigan (with a very cool cut) that is oh so soft with hints of pale beige and cream.  When I wore it to work many folks loved the way it played up the silver and still brown/caramel colors left in my hair and couldn’t wait to point that out. Well - I was delighted because I mindfully chose that sweater for those reasons...again...much influenced by your book Diana!

So its hard to say goodbye but here I have something new… that suits me better and has the potential of being a new comfy clothes. Okay...the burnt orange and cotton orange sweaters are now in my car to go to Good Will tomorrow.So bibble babble ....just looked at the clock...time to go to sleep!

Posted by morningstar on 02/05 at 07:55 PM

Yeah—I love my blankies! A friend called today to say he had read my posting and that it sounded like I was wearing comfort food. (oatmeal, maybe?) Comfort food, comfort clothes, same same. Maybe you should keep your beloved orange sweaters and wear them on gray, rainy days. In the house. Nice get on the gray cashmere cardigan, though! D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 02/05 at 09:19 PM

Thought I’s share this with y’all for a laugh! It was printed on Jan.26, 1922 in the NYT! LOL

http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?_r=1&res=9B07E6DC1531EF33A25755C2A9679C946395D6CF&oref=slogin

Lori

Posted by Plinkette on 02/13 at 07:11 PM

Lori—this is hysterical!  WHERE do you get these things????  LOL D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 02/13 at 08:17 PM

With my grandbaby in Mexico I have way too much timeon my hands! lol

Lori

Posted by Plinkette on 02/13 at 08:20 PM

I’m beginning to think I’m the contrarian here—for me, the grays, unless it’s almost black, will dull me out faster than almost any other color.  Beige, cream, caramel all do wonders.  Go figure.  I also subscribe (sorry Diana) to the dramatic upper AND lower lash mascara/liner school. For me, it works.  Will it work next year?  Who knows?  For now, it’s a good thing.

Posted by dwntwnfem on 03/05 at 09:18 PM

dwntwmfem,

It’s all about independence and doing what looks right and feels right on/for you - right?  No hard and fast rules.  It probably depends a lot on your complexion, eye coloring and hair tones too.  I saw a spread in More mag once where silver haired model Cindy Joseph had a beige pashmina right near her face and looked fab...on me it would be ghostly.  So go figure!.

Also sometimes where you are at with your hair has a lot to do with it.  While I had a fair share of fading browns mixed in with the salt and pepper I found a sweater with soft gray, cream and beige.  Got a lot of compliments how it picked up and tied together all the colors in my hair.

I’m babbling now...sorry.  Whenever someone breaks away from a tried and true guideline and gets fab results that to me is the ultimate in fashion sense.

Posted by morningstar on 03/06 at 03:29 AM

That’s why I always say experiment—find out what works for YOU! Go put colors next to your face at a pashmina counter. Go try newer ways to emphasize your eyes. We all tend to get stuck in “ruts,” particularly makeup ones. So what better time than now, when your hair is changing, to really explore? Once you’ve gotten where you want to go—which sounds like dwntwnfem—you’ll know what works for you, and you can keep on doing it. With the option to “revise” every once in awhile. Besides, it’s fun!

You’re right about “guidelines,” morningstar—they’re what work for most women. The best thing to do is give them a shot, use them as a starting point, play away with color and texture and shine, then refine it to your own, personal “fab.” D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/06 at 07:53 AM

Here here on that!  Talk about ruts...the jury is still out (in my mind) but I am astonished with how many folks think I look younger with shorter/lighter hair?  Am I on to the Carole Lombard in me?  Closer to blonde than I ever thought I could be? Guess what I am saying is ...as always....opportunity drags me kicking and screaming out the door after it knocks” then I realize its an ‘opportunity’! Before that I am crying my eyes out! Oye!

Posted by morningstar on 03/06 at 06:07 PM

Yeah—it’s the inner platinum blonde thing. I still say white is the ultimate blonde—only better.  And silver?  Pretty close to platinum. I’m really happy Opportunity pushed you out of the door, morningstar. Sometimes we all need a good shove! There are times in life we just can’t take that next step. Not to get too philosophical—we’re talking about hair, here!  Or are we?  D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/06 at 08:01 PM

Dwntwnfem,

Did you see Summer’s last posting in “Talk On”?  The link to TJMaxx shows model Yasmina in a beige and gray outfit.  All the beige is by her face and it looks fabulous!  Prbably just as you do in beige as well!

grin

Posted by morningstar on 03/08 at 04:31 AM

I really think it’s all about finding what works for you, and what makes you feel good when you wear it—we all know those clothes.  The ones that make you smile at yourself and everyone else.  One of the very best things about going gray (at least for me) is that you’ve broken the first rule, so the others are easy!  What colors suit you, what makeup suits you?  Experiment, play, make a mistake now & then.  And don’t be afraid to break a rule or two.

Posted by dwntwnfem on 03/08 at 06:20 AM

I like to punch up the beige with turquoise jewelry.  I can get away with it then.

Posted by jadejou on 03/24 at 04:21 PM

Hi Jadejou—Glad you joined us!  You’ve got the right idea!  Anything that brightens or separates the hair from what you’re wearing works wonders. I love turquoise. It’s a strong statement. And doesn’t it seem to go with everything? Actually, it just takes focus. And that’s a very important thing to do—especially for women who feel they’re “fading out.”

Beige is a good “neutral” for supporting any color—wrap on a great pink scarf, play with red, navy or black. Just get the beige away from your hair (and face) and that’s all you need to do. As I said—someplace-- before, we’re not playing by “fashion police” rules here, we’re just finding out what works for US. D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 03/24 at 04:43 PM

Ok...I must be serious about making this change. I’m now five weeks into it with salt and pepper roots and already am looking at change in color accessories. I bought a car today! I, of course, decided that salt and pepper hair would just look fab sitting in a red car, black interior with stainless accents and that is exactly what I decided on! Now is that commitment or what?!  grin

Posted by Shara on 03/31 at 11:17 PM

Now THAT’s the ultimate accessory!!  Way to go Shara!  Go look HOT!  wink

Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/01 at 06:32 AM

Cool Shara!!!

I bet you’ll have a “road trip” in your future;-) I did the same thing about 7 months after I took all my hair off! I purchased a little red tiburon(5 speed)...not a very practical “family” car...but, it sure has been great mental health when I just need to “let my hair down” cool smile
The trick is, not to get any speeding tickets;-)

Have fun!

Posted by elizabeth on 04/01 at 09:43 AM

Hi Ladies,

Wondering if anyone has any talent with determining someone’s “season.” I can figure out that I’m either a Summer or a Winter but not sure which.  I think I look best in dark colours, which would make me a winter, but the colouring guides I’ve read would indicate (due to my hair, eye colour etc) that I’m a Summer.  This would mean more pastel/lighter shades.  I’m about to embark on some shopping to adapt my wardrobe to the cooler tones in my hair so would appreciate any advice.  I’m in the Newbie gallery if that helps.

Lisa

Posted by newbie2 on 04/22 at 12:16 PM

Hi Lisa—I know a lot of women believe in the “seasons” approach to color, and it was a good thing because it got women thinking about colors in relation to themselves. However, it does tend to lock women in. The best thing to do is go with your instincts—AND—your new coloring. Take into consideration your skintone, that’s the key. Then your hair. And voilà, you don’t have to be locked into dark OR light tones. You can change with the seasons, instead of BEING a “season.” Your new hair color will be an important factor—so refer to the book for some of the shades you might want to look out for—or wear. But do try new colors you never thought you could wear before.  You could be surprised!

Looking at your pictures, I can’t see you in pastels.  But I could in pastels that have a bit of “punch” to them—something that brightens you up. With your eyes, I could see you in clear blues (not pale blues) or maybe even teal—which is a great shade with gray hair.  The point is, try something a drop stronger, a drop bolder. And what about a coral-pink, instead of a pastel pink? This would work if your skintone has a yellow undertone. It’s surprising, these colors have the color-energy of deeper tones (meaning they deliver a sharp, clear impact) and you could be more comfortable with them.

If you like darker colors, black is always a best bet with gray/silver hair. And then there’s always black’s alternative—navy.  But I’d use this opportunity to introduce a little color in your wardrobe—maybe just try one or two pieces, and see how they work for you. Eventually, your hair’s going to go “cooler,” so finding the right shades now—shades that give your complexion a boost—is important. It’s all about bringing some color to your face.  Hope this helps, D.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 04/22 at 03:06 PM

Hi Lisa! The background desktop to my computer is multi-colored. I popped up your face from the newbie section and voila....you look great against stronger colors such as purplish pink (magenta), cobalt blue and greens that have a blue component; I suppose that would be teal like Diana was saying. I tend to agree with Diana. It’s best not to lock yourself in as a “season” but put on a color that instinctively feels good to you. Still, I can appreciate your uncertainty here. Being a redhead for so long, I’m afraid I’m going to have to nix my wardrobe of oranges and olive greens as somehow I know those colors won’t “feel” right once the gray overtakes my head.  It would be fun to send in a photo with a new color wardrobe purchase if you find something that just seems to fit your new look.  Have fun with it!

Posted by Shara on 04/22 at 03:56 PM

OK—I’ve been away for a while, and I know Diana’s going to call me the contrarian, but for me at least, it’s not so much about being a “season”, as wearing what works.  Black, white, camel, any strong color except yellow.  The fabrics change, the colors don’t.  Pastels make me look like a little old lady, which I flat out refuse to consider!  A fairly strong lipstick, a light plum eye shadow to make my eyes even greener, with a brown/black (lightly applied) liner and some blush so I don’t look dead. It works for me. Which is really my point.  The best thing about going gray is that you get to play with a lot of colors and makeup that you might not have been able to wear before.  Throw out the rules, and wear what makes everyone say “You look fabulous”, and you’ll FEEl fabulous.  Have fun!

Posted by dwntwnfem on 04/22 at 04:32 PM

Thanks Diana, Shara, and dwntwnfern,

I think I sometimes try to hard to play by the “rules”...I guess I just didn’t want to be going around in fuscia with people saying “Geez, can’t she see she’d look so much better in PASTELS??” I think Shara is right--the strong, cool colours suit me.  I know I feel good in them, and I’m currently wearing a baby pink t-shirt that’s making me feel very blah.  Washed out.  So...the verdict is in:  have fun and pay attention to what feels good.  Black, white, and bold colours here I come!

Lisa

Posted by newbie2 on 04/22 at 05:02 PM

Hang in there, Lisa.  There will always be someone who will tell you you should wear pastels, just like there will always be someone who will tell you to color your hair.  Wear what you love, and makes you even more beautiful than you are already.

Posted by dwntwnfem on 04/22 at 05:39 PM

Great idea Diana!

I just recently found an incredible (warm) orange tunic...not a color that I would typically gravitate to!  It changed my skin tone! I received a ton of compliments when I wore it the other day! It’s amazing how we get in a rut! We only “shop” here at this store...only buy this “color, style, or brand” of clothing...only “this kind of make-up”...or hair product.

I really think we all have a tendency to become “tunnel visioned” in our standard everyday routine.
So...I’m going to personally change it up a little! Walk a little on the “wild side”...let my “hair down"..."Go where no man has gone before” cool smile

Let the adventure begin! I would love to hear of what others are doing..."it takes a village to raise a Great Gray” LOL

Posted by elizabeth on 06/09 at 11:45 AM

Hi Elizabeth
Orange works surprisingly well for me too. I didn’t think it would. Diana suggested a coral which I thought at first didn’t work for me but after trying on a warmer coral than I first tried that is working well for me too.
Sharon

Posted by Sharon on 07/03 at 06:48 AM

Hey,
I found a fashion web site where the author is going gray. She has two posts about it: http://blog.wardrobe911.com/2008/08/growing-out-gra.html
One was posted on Aug 12th and the other on June 24th. I emailed her and she is aware of this site. Maybe we can get her to do some fashion posts on colors appropriate for gray haired women.
Diane w.

Posted by DianeW on 08/13 at 10:19 PM

Thanks for the link, Diane. Actually we do have several articles about the best colors to wear with gray hair right here.  Have you checked out our Fashion Finds section yet? The book also goes into this topic pretty deeply.

The link above also mentioned how great wide headscarves are. And I agree, but you also should see the article on headbands in the “Your Hair Can Be Your Greatest Accessory” section. If you scroll down through it, you’ll also find some “ready-made” soft headbands that you can pull wider or narrower. They look more like scarves than anything else, and they actually work better than squares because you don’t have to pin them on. They’re from Goody, so you’re also not paying designer prices for them.

I’m so glad the blogger is aware of our site. Has she posted any links to it? Since she seems to be describing her personal experience going gray, she might want to widen this topic by sharing our site with her readers. Just a thought!

Posted by Diana Jewell on 08/14 at 05:16 AM

Diana,
I just found the wardrobe site so I don’t know about a lot of the posts. I have been enjoying several fashion blogs I have found lately. Of course, I have your book and have looked at the fashion section of this site. I just like to get a range of information from various sources. I especially like the section where you show bright colors. I love those jewel tones (sorry about the pun!). And I am really enjoying seeing all the new transitioning photos. That’s the first place I check out on this site! Everyone looks so good with their new short cuts!

Posted by DianeW on 08/14 at 06:54 PM

Hi Diane—your thought is a good one—I’ve toyed with the idea of having “guest editors” contribute articles. I’ll keep your suggestion in mind, and maybe we can do a bit of that. BTW, after I wrote to you, I went back to that blog, and she does have a link to gglg! cheese That’s really nice, so maybe I’ll start there. Let ya know what happens. . .

Glad you liked the jewel tones - I do too, and it’s a trend that continues through Fall. Especially in accessories. Did you see the jewel tone shoes in the story “At Long Last Love?” Yummy! And there are lots of really great bright bags, too.

Posted by Diana Jewell on 08/15 at 08:00 AM

found a great green striped tee shirt on sale at talbots the other day and when i wore 2 people stopped and asked me what have i done different ...they likethe new look! so go figure...it is a deeper green and not kelly but maybe just the right tone..i was leary because of the yellowy tones in green but hey it works...for now!!
i am having fun with the color thing...found a great off white sweater also but now i am wondering..i will have to try the accent color with it...if not i guess i will donate it with a few other things to church…
louann

Posted by lainla3 on 10/19 at 09:30 AM

The green tee sounds great, Louann!  I love green, but haven’t added it to my wardrobe yet, but I’ve certainly been looking.  I am still getting rid of the spicy colors that I’ve collected over the last auburn decade!  I’ve never worn kelly green...so a deeper green sounds wonderful!  Don’t you love it when people recognize the effort you’ve put into your wardrobe!  I do!

I did find a great lipstick recently though...I have mentioned in another post that my lips have disappeared into my face these last couple of years...and have even been thinking about permanent cosmetics...ouch!  But after reading through older posts about the perfect red lipstick...i went on a search and found a really rich red that also has a “chrome” effect.  It sounded really risky and i considered putting it back...but the color just wouldn’t let me!  Well, when i put it on at home...the richness of the red nearly made me wipe it right off...but as i stepped back into the light...the “chrome” effect popped!  So...not only is it a great red...but it flashes “chrome” when the light hits my lips!  Silver hair and red “chrome” lips have gotten me a couple of comments too!
~dede

Posted by wtxgray on 10/23 at 06:49 AM

Ms Jewell
This is a wonderful site, very inspiring. I started to go gray at around 13 years of age. On my 15th birthday I got my first dye job and have been doing it ever since for the past 24 years. I have been toying with the idea to just go natural but am afraid for several reasons. How I will look to myself and others, the transition timing, and the strong contrast in color. I have black hair and my gray is actually a pure white. Also I am a working mom and wonder how my fellow employees will react as well as my family.

The photos of the women on this site are so beautiful and they give me such hope that my situation will turn out well also. I suppose I just have cold feet.
-Yeni

Posted by Yeni on 11/12 at 09:15 AM

Hi, Yeni.

Welcome to the site!  We are all here to encourage each other do then you are ready to jump in you will receive all the support you need.  grin

Posted by karate_mom on 11/15 at 06:19 PM

warm up those feet yeni...you have arrived in the right place!!
welcome...i know all these gals around here will have plenty to say!!
go check out butterstace...she lightened her hair and it is making it much easier..

louann cool smile

ps...throw some prayers towards so.calif right now ...these fires are bad

Posted by lainla3 on 11/15 at 07:19 PM

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