Café Gray

COME ON IN, PULL UP A CHAIR, AND CHAT!

Welcome! I’m so glad you decided to drop by, because I really want to hear from you. It’s easy to comment on any of the topics we’re covering. Simply click on Leave a Comment, and you'll be directed to register or login. You’ll be able to talk to other women who are going gray, or at least considering it. We’ll all find out the products we like best, the problems we’re having, the triumphs we’ve felt. So let’s start talking!

Registering on AOL

For some reason known only to the webgods, if you’re visiting the site using AOL, you may get a “You Are Not Authorized” page after you fill in all the registration fields and click Submit. Sign off, switch to another browser (Internet Explorer, Safari, or Firefox) and come back to the site. When you click on Café Gray, you can register using your AOL email address if you like. If you want to visit Café Gray again on AOL, you’ll have to log in the first time. Then just never log out, and you can come back to the Café and leave comments at any time. We’re so sorry if this has been frustrating!

Happy Half-Birthday To Us!

Posted by Diana Jewell on Jun 01 at 07:25 AM

We’re celebrating our 6-month birthday this June with a little makeover. Actually, just the first step of a makeover, kind of like getting your eyebrows done. You’ll notice a new story-linked line of pics on the Homepage. We’re starting with 8, we’ll be adding more. And, little by little, the Homepage will “evolve.” Sometimes, it may pop up and look a little funny, but that’s because the wizard behind the curtain is working. As the Oz boss said, “Pay no attention.” It will come together, bit by bit. But it’s kind of like transitioning. Now we’re transitioning, too! Blow the candles out—make a wish.

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Gone Gray. . . and Loving It?

Posted by Diana Jewell on May 20 at 02:20 PM

Calling all “post-newbies!” Once you’ve finally “arrived” at official silver-dom, do you ever really stop trying new things with your hair? As we all know, gray is always a work in progress, and as our hair changes, we change our thinking about it. Yes, we have good gray days, and bad gray days, just like we did when we were coloring our hair. And, sometimes, we keep waiting for that fab flash of white that never seems to come. So here’s our spot to talk about what we’re thinking of doing with our hair. Or share some wonderful compliments, or talk about the changes our “new” hair color has inspired us to make. And, yes, if you want to vent, that too!

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Hooray, Hooray, It’s the First of May!

Posted by Diana Jewell on Apr 30 at 05:06 PM

And for all of you who made “going gray” your New Year’s Resolution, you are soooo through your “winter of discontent.” The time spent in transitioning. Your silvers may not be long enough for your liking yet, but you can see them, you know they’re there. So pat yourselves on the back, take a deep breath, and get ready for summer. The perfect time to pamper your hair, shield it from the rays of the sun (uh-oh, is that yellow I see?), and wear some gorgeous floppy beach hats. So let’s talk about who’s going where this summer – and how you plan to care for your hair. Are you a baseball cap gal? A headband honey? A ponytail princess? Share your secrets for keeping your hair cool, calm and collected.

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Let’s Hear It For The Newbies!

Posted by Diana Jewell on Apr 13 at 07:41 AM

Now that our Newbie section is gaining strength, it’s time we had a chat devoted just to them. If you’re featured as a member of our “Newbie Class ‘08,” this is your place to talk about your progress, your frustrations, your cuts, your strategy. Everybody else, this is your place to offer that great support you’re all famous for! If you’d like to be included in our Newbie section, please send your progress pictures, and a little information about yourself, to . In the meantime, you’ll find fellow transitioners at the chat “Playing the Waiting Game?” It’s a great place to swap stories about this incredible journey.

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On with the Show!

Posted by Diana Jewell on Apr 01 at 02:21 PM

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s a great “conspiracy” going on on our pages. Check out Elizabeth’s Story, and Carol’s Story. The plot thickens as some of our Members have decided to promote this website on Rachael Ray, Ellen and Oprah! I decided to check out the Oprah link, and right at this very minute she’s asking if Jamie Lee Curtis has inspired you to go gray! It’s a perfect opportunity to talk about everything that’s inspired you (and I hope this site has, too!). So, I guess this is the beginning of a write-in campaign. Come on, everybody, let’s flood these sites with emails—and let our voices be heard! Here are the links, researched by our gal, Plinkette!

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=10

https://www.oprah.com/plugger/templates/BeOnTheShow.jhtml?action=respond&plugId=323900002

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Spring Has Sprung!

Posted by Diana Jewell on Mar 31 at 07:45 PM

It’s officially April! And while some of you may think snow in your area is the biggest April Fool’s Day joke of all, others are beginning to see buds sprouting up. So there’s hope. There’s also hope this month in a bottle! If you haven’t noticed yet, we have a special Member gift offer from ColorMark. If you’re in the early transition stages, it’s a wonderful root-hider for special occasions. Comes in real-hair shades, and washes right out. So check out the special link on the Homepage. You have to be a Member and already logged in to be sent directly to the ordering page. If you’re new to the site, and not yet a Member, you can register right here at the Café. (Just click on Please Leave a Comment under any entry.) This free offer is only good for one month, so hop to it like a Spring bunny. We can only honor orders where ColorMark ships, so it’s restricted to the US and Canada. We’re not ignoring all you out there in Gibraltar, the UK, China (I could go on—do you know we have visitors from 29 countries—and counting!) But this is a great offer from ColorMark, and we all should give them a big hug. Have a Happy April!

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Change is in the air!

Posted by Diana Jewell on Mar 03 at 06:30 AM

Leave it to the March wind to blow in some changes! You’ll notice something NEW has been added to our Great Grays section! Not only a new story that I think you’ll find interesting, but also the ability to comment on each article—or on our Gallery Girls—without coming back to the Café. Of course we want you to drop into the Café whenever you can, but this is to make contributing your thoughts on a particular article or picture that much easier. Go ahead, try it! I bet you get a conversation going! Don’t forget to keep sending your pics to and watch for them in the new, improved Great Grays section.

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Color me crazy!

Posted by Diana Jewell on Feb 04 at 10:17 AM

As we speak, I’m sitting here in a crunchy beige tweed sweater (at least with small flecks of gold in it for a little life), and a long beige skirt. Deep winter brings out the back-of-the-closet stuff! But this was an outfit I always loved. Sure, I did all the tricks to “warm up” my face – even used a dab of the Clinique bronzer I wrote about in Winter Weary. And it works all the way up to my hair. The silver/pewter/ice tones in it want something better. I am reminded again that there are colors we can “own” and colors we just shouldn’t bother with. I’ll continue to wear this, but not if I’m going out, or someplace where I really want to shine. What I want to know is – do you have colors you find hard to give up on?

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Here’s to a great ‘08!

Posted by Diana Jewell on Jan 01 at 06:57 AM

Happy New Year, everbody!
Made any resolutions? If one of them is to let your gray hair come in, whether you do it with professional help or cold-turkey, keep us posted on your progress. We’re here to help and back you up every step of the way. Here’s to a great (gray) ‘08!

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The Best and Worst of Being Gray

Posted by Diana Jewell on Dec 12 at 08:00 AM

Ok, every woman who goes gray has those ”moments.” One (very young-looking) woman told me a bus actually lowered the steps for her, mistaking her silvery hair as a sign that she was too feeble to climb aboard. I laughed. Until it happened to me! I laughed, until a young girl offered me her seat on the bus. I laughed until the day the supermarket automatically gave me a “senior discount.” But there are other moments, too. Times when we feel great about gray. Tell us some of your best and worst moments.

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What do YOU think about going gray?

Posted by Diana Jewell on Dec 12 at 07:54 AM

Pros? Cons? Qualms? Sometimes what’s going on in your head is as important as what’s going on it!

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Playing the waiting game?

Posted by Diana Jewell on Dec 12 at 07:02 AM

Going through “transitioning?” What are your tricks? Your treats? Once you get into it, it’s not much of a process at all. The dead of winter is a perfect time to start, especially if you’re in a climate where you wear hats, scarves, and other hair-hiders. Here’s the strategy: In January, cut your hair short, wear all the hats you want all winter, hibernate if you like, and by spring, your hair will be a bit longer. Get a choppy, modern cut to see you through summer. By June, you will have 6 months of gray grow-in, you won’t be bothered with ends of a different color, and you’ll be able to tell if you like the “new” you. That’s the time to consider if you want to “adjust” it a bit with highlighting, lowlighting, glazing, or any other professional service. But you’ll know what you’re dealing with, and you’ll be well on your way to being a great gray!

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Calling all “preemies”

Posted by Diana Jewell on Dec 11 at 08:08 PM

If you went gray at an early age, this is your spot to talk about it. Do you feel special, unique, full of self-confidence? Love it? Hate it? Vent!

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Friends & Family

Posted by Diana Jewell on Dec 11 at 07:57 PM

Sometimes they don’t get it—sometimes they do. What reactions have you been getting to your gray? (And you don’t have to name names!)

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Gray hair and your career

Posted by Diana Jewell on Dec 11 at 07:42 PM

"Dye-ing” to keep your job? Does gray hair work where YOU work? Has it affected your career one way or another? Let’s talk about this.

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What are you afraid of?

Posted by Diana Jewell on Dec 06 at 04:03 PM

Our cover girl, Chazz, likes to tell me stories of the women from her gym. As you can imagine, her snow-white hair causes quite a stir. So women are always coming up to her asking how she got that way. What are her tips? Her hair was naturally dark (it had been tons of other shades), but when she made the decision to go “natural,” she had a lot of gray and a lot of dark hair. She did what you can read about in Transitioning. Used a lighter shade on her hair that didn’t touch (or bleach) the natural dark color, but did tint the grays. She said it just looked like she had highlights. As more and more gray came in, she stopped using the lighter color altogether. Chazz thinks most women are really afraid of transitioning. That’s one. There are other “fear factors,” too. Like being afraid you’ll just pale out all over. Being afraid you’ll look older. Being afraid it won’t come in well. I’d like to hear what you’re afraid of. What are your worst fears about going gray? I think this is something we should all talk about.

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Going bald, looking great?

Posted by Diana Jewell on Dec 06 at 04:01 PM

What did you think of Shira’s story (Great Grays)? Would you ever consider such a drastic step? Maybe not, but sometimes women don’t have a choice. I’ve talked to a lot of women who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy, and it grows back in gray. Curly, too, sometimes. Many of them hate the curl (it goes away in a few years), but don’t seem to mind the gray at all. If you’ve lost your hair to chemo, and want to share your experience with us, please do. Let us know how it grew in, how you handled it, and your best hair-advice. You can help a lot of women be as brave as you!

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Anti-aging for your hair

Posted by Diana Jewell on Dec 06 at 03:36 PM

Can gray hair wrinkle? No, but it can weather, crinkle, and dry out. That’s why haircare products are becoming a lot like skincare. Tell us what you use when your gray feels “old.”

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Conditioner—love it or leave it?

Posted by Diana Jewell on Dec 06 at 03:27 PM

The most surprising thing I discovered when I conducted my first focus group of Great Grays was that most of them had given up on conditioners. Many claimed they left their hair too flat, too limp, too lifeless. If you’ll go back to Care & Treatment, you’ll find out why. Certain conditioners are good for limp hair, others are better for hair with good body and thickness—you have to know what’s in them. But I’m curious. At a time when hair is becoming more fragile, more dry, and more lackluster, why on earth do some women shun conditioners? Do you like products that simply provide shine without the de-tangling benefits? Do you prefer pomades or topical spray-on oils? Do you like leave-in conditioners, rinse-out conditioners, or no conditioners at all? Tell us what you use to get the kind of shine, texture and manageability you like. We’d all like to know.

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Product Watch

Posted by Diana Jewell on Dec 06 at 02:12 PM

We all have a few tips up our sleeves. Want to share? Tell us your very favorite shampoos, conditioners, shine boosters, styling aids. What makes your hair go from gray to great?