Silver Sisters Club News

The Clubs are starting to come alive! Now we have two in about as diverse areas of the world as it’s possible to imagine. Salt Lake City and South Africa! But women are women, and they all share a special bond, whether it’s embracing gray, or chatting about the challenges they face in their professional or personal lives. So much to talk about, so much to think about, and so much to celebrate as they gather together to let their silver-or-not hair down!

We’ll cover Silver Sister Club News here, as reported by the club founder, to give you all a sense of “being there.” If you’d like to start one in your city, be sure to read Start Your Own Silver Sisters Club to find out how you can make a real difference in your community.

Salt Lake City
Club Founder: Barb Shelley/ “Silverfox in SLC”

Barb was the gal who used her PR skills to score a wonderful article about going gray in the Salt Lake Tribune. In the article was a great plug for her fledgling Silver Sisters Club, then in formation. The results came in – women wanted to sign up right away! Here’s Barb’s report of their very first meeting.

Our Salt Lake Valley Silver Sisters Club met today for the first time. Five of us were able to meet. Four others really, really wanted to get together with us but had scheduling conflicts this time.

We met in a Barnes and Noble Bookstore coffee shop, mid valley. We were instant friends and could hardly stop chatting to each other. What a bond we created in only an hour.

We shared our hair stories and the veterans gave us newbies tips on products and how to handle unsupportive comments. We are going to meet the last Saturday of every month at various Barnes and Noble Bookstore coffee shops, rotating around the valley to make the location more convenient for everyone. Our goal these first few months is to build interest and membership and meet to casually share our hair stories. Later, we may schedule speakers or activities.

Sisters United! And note the cool nametags that Barb created! That’s our GGLG gal!

L to R: Mary, Barb, Vera, Chris, and Karen

Same order, different view. Just look at all the stages of silver going on!

Proof positive that a Silver Sisters Club can lead to spontaneous get togethers, Barb and Karen decided to hike a trail around Silver Lake, part of the Brighton Ski Resort in Utah. What glorious scenery, topped off with shining silver hair. Barb named Karen’s color “Timberwolf,” after a crayon she saw in a Crayola box. Barb says there’s no name for her hair yet, as the silver is just sprouting!

Karen and Barb take in spectacular scenery

South Africa
Club Founder: Atrayah Janhe/ “Atrayah”

This is actually the third meeting of the Silver Sisters Club in South Africa. If you count the first one in Cape Town, and the second one in Durban. (Find these under the events tab.) Atrayah was back in Cape Town again, for a blockbuster meeting of 15 women! See how they grow? Her report:

Having set a venue in the suburbs of Vredehoek Cape Town, our 15 ladies got together Thursday 4th August to spend time chatting about what it means to go silver, along with the ladies who have since visited http://www.goingraylookinggreat.com and discovered a whole support system answering so many questions they’ve been searching for, along with feeling encouraged by beautiful photographs of the many women with ‘gray’, and their stories.

After an introduction of how Silver Sisters came about in South Africa - with Diana’s book being shown along with the peak caps- we settled in for coffee and snacks before spending time to reflect upon what it was that we as Silver Sisters in South Africa would like to accomplish and experience during our time together. Due to the new ladies who had joined our group as an outcome of the radio interview I did on Cape Talk, there were some interesting suggestions and insights.

Once we had confirmed that we were indeed a club in the making due to our numbers and knowing that they would grow, we then went about discussing speakers and presentations around colour palettes for clothes and make up etc, and also the emotional challenges faced by women around ageing, allowing one to embrace authenticity in letting go of hair dye and the challenges faced by partners, friends and children, along with work colleagues – most especially women!

Due to this insight, a facilitation process unfolded to allow each lady to express her experiences with colour, with other ladies sharing how they had reached the moment of ‘It’s now’! to no longer dye their hair. Linda was curious about how to transition and spent time paging through Diana’s book Going Gray Looking Great, along with supportive suggestions from those present. What surprised us so much that several ladies were ‘not allowed’ to go gray according to their hair stylist... hmmmmm!

Silver Sisters in Johannesburg is coming up September 29th and our Silver Sisters again in Cape Town October 14th

L to R, Rosalie, Francis, Cheryl, Brigitt

L to R, Charlene, Linette, Rensia, Kathy

L to R, Miems and Alexandra

L to R, Atrayah, Linda, Ilana, Antoinette, Denise

Atrayah, center with Tyrone, owner of the Raw Café, who hosted the group, and Michelle, their waitress for the day. Kudo’s for handling 15 people, Michelle!


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Start Your Own Silver Sisters Club!

What’s a Silver Sisters Club? It’s new-found friendships. It’s support. It’s a lot of fun and laughs. But, most importantly, it’s a way to make a real difference in the lives of your friends, neighbors, business associates, and even complete strangers!

Silver Sisters Clubs had their beginnings in the Silver Sisters events all across the country. Like the SoCal gals you see above. If you’ve ever been to one, you know there’s an “instant connection.” A great feeling of sisterhood.

But they really took off when the Today Show called us a club! And as we raised a toast, on camera, to The Silver Sisterhood! Suddenly women were writing into GGLG, wanting to start their own Silver Sisters Club in their own towns and cities.


How Do You Get Started?

It’s simple! Here are Six Steps to Success. Do two, do three, or do them all. It all depends on how big you want your group to be.

1. START SMALL – BUT THINK BIG
Who do you know who might be interested in going silver? Who do you know who already is? Make a list. It will grow – as friends invite friends.

2. GET THE WORD OUT
GGLG will supply an 8 ½”x11” poster template for all Silver Sisters Club Meetings. You can fill in the information, print them up and distribute these around your area. Be creative. Think of the places YOU like to go, and post a notice. Work, church, supermarkets, your favorite retailers. Include the date and time of your very first meeting. Contact women’s organizations and clubs in your community. Social groups, PTA’s, charity organizations. Tell them you’d like to post an announcement of your new Silver Sisters Club in their newsletters

3. PUT YOURSELF IN THE NEWS
Notify your local newspaper of meetings. There are usually “events” pages where a paper posts notices of community happenings.

4. SCHEDULE MONTHLY MEETINGS
Women going through transition love to check their progress month-by-month. This is the place where they can do that – and also chat about it. They’ll receive much support from your group.

5. PLAN A TOPIC
Amidst all the fun and chatter, plan to cover one topic per meeting.
- Should I change my makeup? What are the best colors to use? You might invite a local makeup artist, or demonstrator from a retail store to come in and give tips/makeovers.
- What are the best hairstyles? Consider inviting your favorite gray-friendly hair stylist!
- How to keep fit while ditching dye. Know any good yoga instructor you could invite?
- Hair Horror Stories. Everybody’s got one! Invite your guests to bring pictures of their past looks.
- Do I need to overhaul my wardrobe? Ask a fashion consultant or personal shopper from your favorite retail store to offer suggestions.
See the pages of GGLG for other ideas.

6. FILE A REPORT
Activities of all Silver Sisters Clubs will be reported on the pages of GGLG. We’d love to see what you’ve been up to. If you can, snap a few pictures, and send those in as well. Just be sure to inform everybody that their picture may be on a website. If they don’t wish to participate, please do NOT include them in your shots.


As You Grow

Your early meetings will be “home” affairs. Start by having the first one at your house. Switch with another Club member the next time and the next. When your Club gets larger, look around for church meeting halls, or school assembly locations. Your local Chamber of Commerce can be a big help in finding FREE available space.

Ask the earliest members to join with you as co-leaders. Don’t even try to do everything yourself as your group gets larger. The most important thing is that your group is THERE, for women who need the support, friendship and fun you can offer.

What Goes On at a Silver Sisters Club Meeting?

This is where the creative part comes in, because it’s all entirely up to you!

Here are some guidelines:

  • Have everyone sign a “guest book” as they enter, with names, phone numbers, addresses, emails. You’ll want this later to send out announcements of future meetings.
  • Have them also fill out a slip of paper with their name and phone number on it. This goes in the “Buddy Hat.”
  • Have everyone draw a Silver Sister’s name from The Buddy Hat. This is the one they will call when they’re about to grab the bottle. Do this at each meeting – the Silver Sister changes each time! This gives your members an opportunity to get to know more people in the group a little better, and it allows for the first-timers to be included.
  • To charge or not? You might wish to charge a nominal meeting fee to cover expenses.
  • Provide light refreshments – keep healthy snacks in mind!
  • When the meeting starts, go around the room. Ask everybody to introduce themselves, and tell a little of their “going gray” story. If this bears any resemblance to an AA meeting, you’ve got it! Do this at every meeting. The stories will change every time!
  • Finally, introduce your special guest speaker (if you’ve planned one), and let her take the Topic of the Day from there.

What Can You Order To Make It Official?

BUSINESS CARDS
First, order your own set of GGLG “Business Cards” by contacting proorders@goinggraylookinggreat.com You’ll receive 25 FREE cards. They’re generic, but you can write your own name on them, phone number, email, and date of next Silver Sisters Club meeting.

Pass these out to friends who have noticed YOUR hair, and who tell you they want to make the leap, too! Pass them out to strangers you meet in the supermarket, at community events. Every time you see a potential “Great Gray,” go up and chat. Tell her “We’re starting a great group of women who are either gray, or going through the process of transitioning. Maybe you’d like to join us. We’re getting together on (date) at (place).”

Once you have your first meeting, you can take orders for cards to be distributed at the next meeting. These are available at a charge of $35/250 cards.

NOTECARDS
Perhaps you want to send out little notes, telling people of your next meeting. These folded glossy notecards come in handy. Size: 5 ½”x 4 ¼”, with envelopes included. You can order 50 for $40.


BOOKS
Don’t forget the “bible.” The one book where your fellow Silver Sisters will find all the information they need to help them go gray successfully and beautifully. If you’d like to order these in quantity for your group, contact editor@goinggraylookinggreat.com for special discounts.


BASEBALL CAPS
Everybody wants a GGLG baseball cap! Plus they’re the best root hider a Silver Sister ever had. Available at a special Silver Sisters Club discount price.


THERE’S A WORLD OF SILVER SISTERS OUT THERE! FIND YOURS!
Contact editor@goinggraylookinggreat.com to get started.

Note: The Silver Sisters Club® and The Silver Sisterhood® are officially sanctioned organizations of Silverlining Beauty LLC and http://www.goinggraylookinggreat.com. All materials, press releases, products and information must be approved in advance.


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What Can you Do?


The recent spate of publicity that GGLG has been getting is due, in no small part, to three of our illustrious members.

Remember the radio interview with Stephen Diamond? Our Goldie got OZ that gig. And, boy, did it have legs! Stephen loved all the chat from our Silver Sisters and responded to every one.

Now on to the Salt Lake Tribune. New Newbie Barb Shelley arranged for that interview. Hoping to start a Silver Sisters Club in her area, she thought a little publicity might not be bad. Great idea!

Can't get an appointment? That didn't stop Atrayah. She gathered up info on her Silver Sisters Club, went to a local radio station, and chatted up the security guard.

Soon enough, he called someone down, she loved the story, and gave it to a producer. Atrayah was interviewed for 45 minutes in prime radio time! And now he's going to help her get magazine coverage for the South Africa Silver Sisters.

Is it your turn to shine a light on Silver? Think about it. You might contact a woman/style/beauty editor at a local newspaper. You could pitch a story to a local TV station. Maybe it's about your own transitioning process, but we'd be grateful if you mentioned GGLG, the book, and the website. Maybe it's about the entire Silver Sisterhood, and you can ask them to contact OZ. Maybe it's a feature that includes you with other ladies who have gone gray in your area.

You don’t have to be a public relations expert (although Barb is, and Goldie has cut her teeth on it. After all, a gal who gets on Oprah and led our "Silver Sisters Book" mailing knows a thing or two!), but be inventive. Call or email a story idea. You never know when someone might just pick up on it.

Join this list of PR Members, as you spread the word!


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OZ SPOT

Until now, there’s been no real place for the great and powerful OZ on this site. Oh, sometimes you’ll hear a comment or two tossed into the chats, but OZ wants more. OZ wants to ponder things from time to time. Not all the time, of course. Just on the rare occasions when the mysteries of life and websites baffle the wiz.


OZ's Odyssey

Speaking of things confounding, a move certainly is. Phase 1, emptying out the house in Southampton, was finished end of May. Phase 2, back in the city, has been going on for three weeks. Mostly glaring at closets, drawers, and files that needed, shall we say, editing. The movers will come bright and early on Thursday the 24th to pack us up. What does this mean? No modem. No computer. No can do pictures, chat, nada. So please hold off on things for awhile. We fly to Charlotte on the 25th, where we will be staying at a resort until the 18-wheeler arrives. Yay, bless WiFi! Will be back in business. For 5 days only. Move in date is June 30th -- so next "black out" period may be longer. Oz can get the phone and internet hooked up on July 3rd. But does that mean my computer will be fully operational? hahahahahaha. I'd say stay tuned, but after the 30th, OZ won't be able to actually say that on these pages. Hey, we'll chat from Charlotte before then.

Greetings from Charlotte! We finally made it down here, but not without a few curve balls. The movers, who were supposed to pack us up on Thursday, and move us out on Friday, decided to pack and move in one day. A very long day. We had counted on them leaving us the bed for Thursday night. Ooops. Our apartment was empty. So we "camped out." Keeping one lamp, two pillows, and some sheets, we slept on the floor. I don't advise anybody over the age of 10 ever to do this. On Friday morning, we still had some personal stuff to clean out, then it was time to get dressed and get to the airport. Another snag. Our flight was an hour late, then sat on the runway for another good half hour or so. By the time we took off, OZ had absolutely no sad feelings about leaving NY. OZ was just annoyed. But we landed safely, all that truly counts. And then -- then -- we experienced the heat. OMG. It's not any hotter than NYC, but the humidity is higher. Gasp. Quite surprising, actually. Soon we were whisked off to our resort, and headed straight to the veranda for dinner. We were the only people on the veranda, naturally, because everybody else was inside enjoying the AC. Still, it was lovely out. A little breeze began to stir. We had a light dinner overlooking the golf course. Our room has a terrace overlooking the golf course, too. Just below us there is a beautiful fountain in the middle of a lake -- yeah, a golf hazard. But, feeling this morning's oven temperature, OZ may just do a swan dive off the terrace into the fountain!

Yes, OZ is back. Don't know for how long, though. Had to get At&T "high speed internet" down here, but it's ridiculous. Things just don't download fast. So I may be switching to my old reliable Road Runner. Still, for now, will work with it. Please keep in mind that I have a zillion things to attend to, so kindly hold off on updates or pictures. Am surrounded by the worst clutter in my entire life. Fortunately, my "organizer" from New York has suddenly materialized down here. Yay! Life is good. And, even better, people down here are so friendly!


Curiouser and Curiouser

Straight from the horse’s mouth. Redken is announcing a new line of anti-aging products for the hair. It’s called Time Reset at home haircare and an age-defying Time Reset Salon Service to combat and prevent aging hair. I’m with them so far.

Here’s where they lose me. David Cannell, Redken Research and Development expert, says they have identified two main categories of aging hair: chronological aging caused by mechanical, environmental and chemical distress – the combined effects of these external factors can leave hair dry, sensitized and/or porous. The second category is hormonal aging which occurs as a result of the physiological changes that women experience as they grow older. This ultimately results in slowed scalp activity and the decline in melanin, the hair’s natural source of protection and defense against age-accelerating aggressors.

But, uh, Redken. Don’t you make color products for the hair? So if the “chronological aging” – which apparently has nothing to do with years – is caused, in part, by chemical distress, aren’t you the very people encouraging that chemical distress? Yup, says so right here. "Redken’s solution to aging hair is the NEW age-defying regimen that addresses both the immediate needs of aging hair while helping to prevent hair from aging starting in the salon with professional haircolor."

As they point out, most women are 50% gray by the age of 50. But, oh, boy do they have a solution for that. The newest is Cover Fusion Low Ammonia 100% Coverage Color Cream. Coverage, as in, hate that gray, wash it away. And I’m quoting here, “Cover Fusion contains ingredients specifically formulated to address the issues gray-haired clients face. Available in 24 naturally reflective shades, Cover Fusion addresses 4 of the 6 signs of aging." Could one of those "signs" be gray hair? Yessiree. Cover Fusion’s Revitalage Colorbond TechnologyTM provides 100% gray coverage.

So what would this suggest? The very makers of color products agree that it can age the hair, leading it to become “porous, lifeless and extremely difficult to manage.” And then they’re going to provide yet more products to anti-age the hair? Whew. Thank heavens we need only concern ourselves with hormonal aging. And that’s enough to deal with!


De-Pending

We have a lot of “Pending” members. Some are quite legitimate. They haven’t received their email link to activate their Membership. This is indeed a mystery, as it gets sent automatically within minutes. Unfortunately, if spam filters are high, it sometimes gets sent to the old trash box in the sky. Sometimes, it doesn’t go through, and OZ gets something that says "contact mail server." That's not gonna happen. And sometimes there’s an error in the email address, like Name72@yaho.com. That would be yahoo, but there’s nothing OZ can do about it. Moral of the story: Make sure you get your email address right.

But this isn’t what’s curious. Phony baloney email addresses are. Continuing to peruse the Pending Member list, OZ noticed many, many “pendees” that have the same email address. Exactly the same. For instance, several people have a uexpress address. With a variety of endings –

uexpress@getridofcoldsore

uexpress@excessivearmpitsweating

uexpress@cureforhemroidsblog

uexpress@excessivetirednessreview

uexpress@burnfatdiettoday

uexpress@shedfataway

uexpress@mytruestory

uexpress@faceliftwithoutsurgeryblog

Now, it might not be unusual if only one Member-to-Be used an address such as uexpress@shedfataway.com -- hey, maybe she works there. Maybe she’s the only one who works there because there’s no name attached to this address. Maybe it’s poor Susie working her guts out for shedfataway. Believe me, I understand, Susie. I feel your pain. But, see, several “people” have this very same email address. So, really, come on. I have a feeling you’ll always be “pending” because someone smarter than OZ is figuring this out!

But wait, there’s more. Several “people” are using office@ as an email address. My favorite one is office@sendingloadtothephilippines. What’s with that? Office1@ doesn’t work, either, if several are using it as their address, nor does admin@. None of these mailbox addresses seem to receive activation notices, and they continue to be in limbo as far as Membership goes. Maybe that’s a good thing!

So, look, here’s what I’m going to do. If you haven’t received your activation email, chances are you’re not going to. It will be hard to say goodbye to pendees with such colorful usernames as demonicsinger, petdogtraining, and squalidisolatio, but unless I hear otherwise from you, I’m going to clean house, deleting most of the suspicious “Pending Members.” And nobody’s going to get a heart, a brain, or courage!

‘Bye-bye, ManofSex, Buyvicodan, and Profusespoof30. Toodle-oo KaufenViagra, CialisDDS, and Luxwatchez. Sayonara, Sendload and Bizarrepushover – It’s been swell.

And for all of you who legitimately didn’t get your activation notices, do let us know if you’ve been having a problem. You may need to start the process over again. And now that you are officially removed from the Pending list, you are free to use the same information you originally signed up with. You could also check your spam folder, and notify your mail server to accept mail from editor@goinggraylookinggreat.com and dianajewell@goinggraylookinggreat.com.


Media Madness

Recently, we’ve had a little burst of publicity, and while any publicity is all good, OZ is left to wonder just how good is it when the perception that gray hair is “agonizing,” “rebellious” “daring” and against all of society’s standards of beauty is put out there.

Yes, as the LA Times said, “Jewell may be fighting the good fight”, and I will continue to, but it’s gets discouraging when they add, “but there's little evidence in popular culture that more women are embracing their gray — at least before approaching a ripe old age.” Oh really? I’ve got over two thousand gals here who would be happy to prove otherwise.

On the recent Today Show, Meredith Viera talked about that “agonizing moment where you find your first gray hair.” Agonizing? Research for my book proved, time and time again, that most women don’t even remember when they found their first gray hair. They do remember when they found more, many more, and realized they were indeed going gray. But not the first gray. It may be a non-event, unless it is associated with something very specific in your life.

The Today Show went on to say that “it’s not easy to find many examples of women with gray hair.” Not easy? Did they do their homework? GGLG has women writing in from 101 countries around the world. Do they choose to ignore the revolution? No. Instead they prefer to stick to two examples. Not many women in Congress are going gray (5), and nobody is going gray among women CEOs of the top Fortune 500 companies. Well, I guess that settles it, then.

Then they gloat – 50% of women in a Consumer Reports poll say they color their hair. The spin might have been 50% don’t. Had they wanted to turn that around. They didn’t.

And, think about it. Did they mention the website at all? They showed the homepage, and for that OZ is truly grateful. Until they said they “sat down with the founder of the Silver Sisters Club.” What club? When did we sit down? Could they have gotten their facts straight?

Oz was happy when the beauty editor of More pointed out that going gray is the most popular topic on their website. Oz was not thrilled when she said while we (meaning the Silver Sisters, I suppose) are “rebels at this point” in the future we will see more and more women “daring” to go gray.

Daring? We are choosing. We are choosing to be authentic, to be real, to get some portion of our lives back, to be free from the overbearing schedule of root touch-ups. We are happy about our decision. Why is it that this must be seen as something daring?

Meredith asked “Is it because we’re afraid to age?” Isn’t everybody afraid to age, whether they color their hair or not? Gee. That could just possibly be why over 12,000,000 cosmetic surgeries were performed last year, 90% of those on women. I’d like to ask, do those women color their hair? Over 2,751,176 women went to the derms for Botox injections. Do they color their hair? You see what I’m getting at. Women will fight aging on whatever front they choose to. It is not about gray hair. It is about fear of aging.

As the final salvo on this “experts” discussion, it was pointed out that gray hair still requires some maintenance. I ask you – what hair doesn’t? Why do women spend over $7.5 billion on haircare products alone in the US? Could they all be gray?

Fast forward to what will forever be known as Nadine’s segment. Linda Wells of Allure said “people think it’s old.” Thank you, Allure magazine. In the former segment, she said “Women want to be given jobs, opportunities, so they’re not thought of as on the verge of retirement.” Does she possibly realize the age range of this revolution? Pretty hard to think of a 35-45 year old woman as “on the verge of retirement.”

Now to the “expert” makeover job they did on Nadine. Oh come on, ladies. As Nadine reported, they had specific instructions. Where did her natural glow go? Buried under too much blusher, too much lipstick, too dark eyebrows. We all know you don’t need to pile it on to look better. This is a myth, ladies. Get over it. How much better would it have been if we had had Cindy Joseph with her natural, organic Boomsticks, just touching up the color and glow a little bit?

And here’s what I really love. For every point illustrated, they drag out the old chestnuts. Sorry, ladies. They show us Diane Keaton, Helen Mirren, Jamie Lee Curtis, Emmylou Harris. They spice it up with Kate Moss and Lady Gaga, but that isn't really what we're talking about. We have gorgeous, fabulous, young-looking women on our website. If they really wanted to inspire women to go gray, why not show that younger women are doing it with great success? Not the “CoolGirls” of the world. The real girls. The real women. Dare they go there? No.

And why not? Because they want to ask the question, “Is it OK to go gray?” OK? Why can't you just act like the strong, independent women you profess yourselves to be? And do whatever you want to with your hair? If you want to dye it or bleach it, fine. If you want to go gray, fine. What is the big deal? Is it OK? Do we have to ask someone's permission?

Ladies, we’ve got to roll up our sleeves and get to work. I’ll still be “fighting the good fight.” I hope you will all join me. Express your opinion at the LA Times website: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/alltherage/2010/05/silver-foxes-the-today-show-to-air-a-segment-on-how-chic-gray-hair-can-be.html Write to the Today Show at videoplayer@msnbc.com. That’s simply an email address but you can tell them what you think. Join the revolution!

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Shades of Gray

HOW MANY SHADES OF GRAY ARE THERE?

More than Mother Nature can count. We’ve had fun talking about silver, pewter, ice, charcoal, steel, gunmetal, and on and on, but why does gray hair take on so many individual hues? It starts with your pigmented color. You don’t lose pigment all at once. And when you do lose it, your hair actually becomes transparent. Hair fiber has no color; the cuticle, the outermost protective layer, is transparent.

When we see a blonde or a brunette, we perceive color because of the pigment shining through. Eumelanin gives hair a brown to black cast. Phaeomelanin reflects as blonde, gold, auburn and red. That’s how we “see” hair color.

When melanin production slows down, it does it at its own pace. There’s a biological reason why, and you can read all about that in the book Going Gray, Looking Great! But, suffice it to say, your hair has its own timetable. Some of the melanin will disappear early, some later. Eventually, your hair will be colorless, without any melanin at all.

When that happens your hair will turn “white.” So now you’re going to say – white is a color because I can see it. My hair is not transparent! Technically, pure white is the absence of color. You can’t mix colors to create white. This is truly the strictest sense of the definition. But yet it is also a composite of color. Bypassing the course in quantum physics and electromagnetic energy, light is the medium that brings the message of color to our brains. We see colors as a reflection of light, each with a specific wavelength. Think of entering a pitch black room. Do you see color? No. Turn on the light, and color comes to life. It’s light that does it. That’s the reason why you perceive your hair color differently on a cloudy day, or in artificial light.

For the eye to perceive something as white, it must reflect all colors. Just bounce them right off. To do that, it must be devoid of color itself. Completely colorless. Just like your pigment-free strands. And through the magic-presto of our eyes, we see white. Pull a white hair out of your head right now, and you will see white. Your eyes will not see a colorless, transparent vessel that is busy reflecting all the colors of the rainbow.

While you’re going through the process of transitioning, you’ve got another kind of reflection going on.

The hair that is still a definite color reflects on your colorless hair. That’s where the infinite shadings come in. All of them uniquely yours. In your own pattern. Nobody else will have this kind of coloring. That’s part of the mystique of silvering. You will have a shade that can’t be duplicated by a dye, a bottle, a bleach. Some of you will like this shade. Others will be disappointed that they aren’t “more gray.” Wait. Your time will come. But in the meantime, you can have fun with what nature chose to give you. Sometimes, it will look like highlights. Other times, it will surround your face with a soft halo effect. And sometimes, it will come in more prominently on one side of your head. That’s up to nature.

If it doesn’t, if the silvers scatter haphazardly, diluting your own color, going “blah” and mousey, don’t give up. There are many things you can do. You can lowlight for more contrast, highlight to soften the contrast, or return to using a demi permanent color. Just for now.

Many women who take the time, and the trouble, to go through transitioning don’t want to give up on the gray they’ve got. So they hang on to it. But if it’s not the most attractive shade it could be, you’ve got to ask yourself why? Why settle for a shade that really isn’t one? Time to talk to a good colorist. Maybe this time you won’t go as dark as you’ve gone in the past. Maybe you’ll discover that you like a softer shade around your face. Maybe you’ll want to leave that sparkling “white” streak that you’ve got going. But there is no reason to hang on to gray if your own hair says “You’re ahead of schedule, here.”

Wait and see what your hair will do. Will it go amazingly silver? Dramatically charcoal? Incredibly streaked with shades you never could have imagined? Most of the time, you won’t be able to tell until it comes in. Judging by root growth is a little like counting your chickens before they’ve hatched. Your other color is still there, sometimes an orangey, oxidized color, reflecting away on your pigment-free strands. Your own unique pattern will not be noticeable. All of this is the "get-through" stage, and it's really worth the effort. However, if you’ve only got a few silver stragglers coming in, you might want to re-think transitioning. Again, just for now.

Gray hair is beautiful, in all of its glorious shades. But it should be beautiful. Anything less is just, well, a very gray area.


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Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

September Is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

I met Kelly online. It was at one of those sites you go to when you need Ovarian Cancer support.* We chatted and chatted, and then decided we didn’t need to go through that site. We’ve been emailing each other ever since. Kelly is a wonderful, courageous fighter and advocate for this disease. She went to Washington to lobby two US Senators and two of Indiana's Congressmen in the House of Representatives to support funding for research. She walks in marathons to raise money, and serves as a patient advocate on the Quality of Life and Nursing committees for the Gynecologic Oncology Group. She's also working to start a local chapter of FORCE (Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered), a group dedicated to education and awareness among the BRCA1 and BRCA2 mutation population. Kelly lives life to the fullest, plus she participates in more clinical trials than anyone I have ever known. She does it because she doesn’t want other women and doctors to have to guess about “safe” levels of very toxic drugs, and she does it because she has to. The body can become resistant to the very drugs that are supposed to kill cancer cells. Kelly’s story is one of honor, beauty, love and faith.

Kelly's Journey

Yesterday, I had my 82nd chemotherapy treatment. The doctors and nurses at the hospital and infusion clinic have become like family. I am thankful that they are truly caring as well as professional. I think I have learned to be thankful for everything in my life. I'm not in denial. I know my prognosis.

My ovarian cancer journey began on June 28, 2006. I was a busy mother of 2 grown children working in a fast paced environment -- the operating room in a small community hospital. I was 45 and in the best physical shape of my life. I went to the gym 3 days a week, working out doing step aerobics, kick boxing and weight training.

I started noticing I was getting a little more bloated than usual and also was having some indigestion. That was highly unusual for me. My colleagues of nurses and surgeons thought maybe I was getting an ulcer or had some gall bladder trouble based on my symptoms. Ha, if only.

My family doc agreed that it could be my gallbladder so he ordered an ultrasound to check it out plus some blood work. I didn't get out of the lab before the ultrasound tech came and told me that I needed to come back to the diagnostic imaging dept. My doctor had already been notified of the results and a CT scan had been ordered. I knew this was serious immediately and calmly asked the tech what she had found. She looked at me with her sweet smile and said they had found some fluid in my abdomen.

That day and her smile will always stay forever burned into my memory. I was fortunate to be familiar with the medical community, anatomy, surgical procedures, etc., but none of it could prepare me for being blindsided by a diagnosis of stage III-C ovarian cancer.

Nothing! Not going to yearly physicals. Not getting all my screening tests, mammograms, pap smears, teeth cleaning on time. Not working out 3 times a week and lowering my cholesterol and eating a low carb diet. Nothing! How could I be sick? I didn't look sick! But reading my CT scan results for myself was like I was taking a ride through some alternate universe. Like time had just come to a screeching halt, or the world had started moving in slow motion.

One of the surgeons I had worked side by side with for many years proved to be a knight in shinning armor. He personally saw to it that I was in touch with the right people in the right places. Even getting me an appointment and talking to the nurses who would later care for me. He knew that the statistics show that anyone diagnosed with ovarian cancer must be cared for by a gynocological oncologist. So I went to Indiana University Hospital and Cancer Center where I continue to receive the best of care. I thank God for him steering me in the right direction.

Every day I became more and more bloated. By the time I had my debulking surgery to remove all the cancer that they could I had 7 liters of fluid, called ascites, in my belly. I looked like I was pregnant with twins and was extremely uncomfortable. The fluid accumulates quickly -- it was filling the areas around my lungs and heart. I could no longer eat and found it hard to breath. And so, a few days before my surgery was scheduled, I had to go into emergency surgery.

My first chemotherapy was administered before I was sent home. There was some debate as to whether I was strong enough, and some debate about whether we could wait one more second before starting to kill the cancer left behind. You see, the debulking surgery is to remove all the tumor they can find. Ovarian cancer likes to attach to the outside of all of your abdominal organs like a sticky goo. It also took over my ovaries completely and my omentum and was in the lining of my abdomen, which cannot be removed. Plus it was already traveling into my lymph nodes off of my aorta, running through my pelvis.

That was over four years ago now. Looking back the first few weeks after coming home and getting back on my feet were the most crucial. I had to wrap my brain around my new life. People were shocked at how I looked but I knew I was getting stronger. Seeing the tears in my 22 year-old son's eyes as he held me by the shoulders and whispered "Mom, you're so thin" was such a sweet moment. I just told him that it's OK.

You can say I am a fighter, but I think I just enjoy living. So every day that I could get up and eat and become stronger was a real joy. The first time I could do dishes standing at the sink was a joy! Whoever thought I would think that?

I have become very active in advocacy, education and awareness of this awful disease. I now know that I carry the genetic mutation of the BRCA gene that increases your odds dramatically of getting both breast and ovarian cancer. I also know that my daughter does not! What a joy since she has since blessed me with two beautiful grandchildren and they will not inherit this genetic defect from their grandmother.

Just tonight, Kelly stood tall on the pitcher's mound, and threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the Indianapolis Indians vs. Columbus Clippers minor league baseball game, as recognition for her volunteer work with Ovar'Coming Together, Inc., Indiana's non-profit ovarian cancer awareness and research funding organization. This month, she will also attend ovarian survivor's camp at Camp Mak-A-Dream, in Gold Creek, Montana, after doing a little rafting trip first!

Know the Symptoms. Know the Signs.

Ovarian cancer has been called "the silent killer" because there are no symptoms. But there are. A woman knows her own body, knows when things aren’t right. Symptoms can be vague, things we all experience from time to time. We ignore them. Doctors ignore them. But if they persist over a two-week period, the smartest thing you’ll ever do is to have them checked out.

  • Pressure or pain in your abdomen or pelvis
  • Swelling, bloating, gastrointestinal upset
  • Frequent urination in the absence of an infection
  • Persistent indigestion, gas or nausea
  • Loss of appetite
  • Unexplained weight loss or gain
  • Difficulty eating or feeling full quickly
  • Increased abdominal girth or clothes fitting tighter around your waist
  • A persistent lack of energy
  • Lower back pain

If you have even one of these symptoms and it becomes persistent, see your gynecologist for an internal exam and request a transvaginal ultrasound, a very simple test that can be done in-office. Ask for a blood test called a ca-125 that measures the level of an antigen, a protein molecule, that may be produced in excess when ovarian cancer cells are present. This is not a foolproof test, but if your ca-125 is well outside the normal range of 0-35, it's a very good indicator. A pap test will tell you nothing; it is for cervical cancer only. There currently are no reliable screening tests for Ovarian cancer.

*For Ovarian Cancer Support go to https://www.inspire.com

For more information about Ovarian Cancer, go to http://www.ovariancancer.org

To download a printable flyer to post where women gather, go to http://www.ovariancancer.org/beat/


Christa Hoehs - International Model Agent for Silvers

Christa Hoehs - International Model Agent for Silvers

Christa Hoehs is a woman with a mission. This Munich beauty believes in gray hair, believes in wrinkles, believes in the whole package that makes a woman even more beautiful as she ages. And she founded the first international modeling agency for “seniors” to prove it.

A funny thing happened to Christa while on holiday in New York, around 1990. She was walking down Lexington Avenue, when a woman “scout” approached her, and asked her if she was interested in modeling. Christa laughs, “At 50!” She had never modeled before, but thought, why not? So she stayed in New York for two years and became quite a successful model, yes, wrinkles and all!

At the end of two years, she began to miss her country, her language, and returned to Germany. She met with an editor who was interested in her story for his Senior Magazine. After 20 minutes he asked her if she would be interested in opening a model agency for this new market called “seniors.”

Christa clapped her hands excitedly, and in 4 weeks time, found herself sitting in a big room with a telephone, a PC, and herself as the only model. She knew in her gut that this was an adventure, but it was up to her to make this happen. So she called a German television station. “You would not believe this, but they were breathless,” she said. She was booked for a televised interview in two weeks, and after that “All hell broke loose. Since that time models came to me. I never scouted them myself till today.” Christa and her agency, SENIOR-MODELS now represent 950 models, and this October 4th, she will celebrate the 15th anniversary of the business.

Starting the very first worldwide agency for older models, Christa is now aware that there now may be some competition. While other agencies do have senior divisions, hers is a dedicated business. “If agencies have younger models in their pool, there can be a conflict of interest. Now they try to get the older ones, but only halfheartedly. With me, it is my whole focus.”

SENIOR-MODELS’ first clients, of course, were the pharmaceutical companies. But now the opportunities are truly opening up as the population ages. As Christa puts it, "When I started the agency there had been a mania for youth all over the place in Europe. The advertising business, the media and society did not notice people over 50 years. They simply did not exist."

Over the years Christa’s agency procured more and more insurance, car and bank-companies as clients. Today there is no branch they do not service. “Except fashion!,” she says. But even that may be opening up. “Questions for fashion-models started this year for the first time. Amazingly late, because this is a market where the money is and the end-consumers do want to identify with mature models and not with 15 year-old girls."

Christa’s models start at the age of 30 – and her oldest one is 92! And, yes, she is still fighting the good fight, but the numbers are now on her side. According to Christa, “The older consumer has seen advertising his or her whole life. He knows exactly what's wrong and what is the truth.” As populations age globally, the creative community (often very young themselves) needs to adjust their thinking. How do you reach this sophisticated consumer? How do you deal with them with a degree of honesty? She believes advertisers are not targeting this vast market adequately. As news of her agency first spread, she received over 7,000 letters from people who felt precisely the same way.

Christa only looks forward to a good answer to these questions. Within the next two years, she plans to open agencies in both Milan and Paris. Fashion hot spots. Good news for Silvers. Good news for us all, indeed.

Back to the mission: Even more importantly, Christa feels she is doing a service to all women in their 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s. “The human touch comes to me with women who cling to their look or identify with their husband’s ‘vision’ of his wife. That can’t be it. A woman is a human being and not a doll. That has to change! A woman must never be afraid to show the public that she has the same right to exist as younger people. With gray hair and wrinkles! And to feel beautiful about it."

And here, at the age of 68, Christa appears on the cover of a magazine for the 60+ generation, shot just two weeks ago. Unretouched. No plastic surgery. Wrinkles and all. And simply beautiful.

All photos  Rita Horvath

CLASSIC-MODELS
SENIOR-MODELS
Lindenschmitstr. 35
81371 München

Tel. +49 (0)89-127 99 100
Fax +49 (0)89-127 99 101

info@seniormodels.de
www.seniormodels.de
www.classicsmodels.de


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In the Spotlight - It Happened to Me

It Happened to Me By Christine Giaimo

I am writing this because I am one of the 'rare' persons who has become cross sensitized to the chemically related cousins of a very toxic ingredient in hair dye. The chemical, Paraphenylenediamine or PPD for short, was introduced to the cosmetics industry in 1938. Originally used in the manufacturing of rubber, this toxic ingredient, a known carcinogen, actually caused the deaths of women while still in the chairs of the salon! After much lobbying by the cosmetics industry the chemical was allowed to stay on as an ingredient in permanent hair dye but in reduced amounts.

To make matters worse the FDA gave this aniline dye, a coal tar derivative, a petroleum product, an exemption from ever being banned. I am including a link to an article written by Perri Jackson, a woman who was also cross sensitized. She did extensive research on the topic that has changed our lives permanently.

Our dream was to do a documentary on this subject so that woman can make an informed choice as to whether or not to use oxidation type hair dyes that contain this chemical. Any product, either off the shelf or in a salon that requires two bottles to be mixed, most likely contains PPD. If the label requires a patch test that is also another clue. If one’s scalp is itchy, that is an indicator of allergy. DO NOT PUSH THE ENVELOPE I did. The itchy scalp is the precursor to swollen, golf ball sized lymph nodes in the head and neck and anaphylaxis, a severe shock reaction that is potentially fatal.

For two years after going into anaphylaxis repeatedly, due to hair dye, I continued to react to other items even though I had stopped coloring my hair. By react, I mean I had systemic reactions, waking up looking disfigured and swollen, skin on fire and swollen with hives on an almost daily basis. Steroids and antihistamines became a staple in my daily regime. After much research and many ER visits and panic attacks, I wound up at NYU Dept of Dermatology where it was confirmed that I indeed was allergic and indeed cross reacting to a host of chemically related cousins of PPD. After extensive testing of chemicals via a patch test that was applied to my already burning skin, I was provided a list of items I can safely use.

I can no longer take certain drugs, such as benzocaine and other caine drugs to alleviate pain at the dentists. Dental products are all suspect and needless to say my life has changed. I can no longer eat foods or take medication with artificial food coloring and preservatives. Medications need to be compounded for me, which is very difficult to have done due to the ever increasing power of big Pharma.

One of my esteemed doctors at NYU, who heads up cancer research, says that this chemical PPD is directly linked to bladder cancer and lymphomas. He also has told me that the best I can do is protect myself from further incidences of anaphylaxis, One of the ways that can be done, although unlikely, is to have this chemical removed from the FDA's list of approved chemicals. This chemical is NEVER supposed to be used on the skin, but we all know that is not the case when dyeing one’s hair.

Hopefully, if a woman feels it necessary to dye her hair, we can help to make it safer for her to do so. I would not wish my experience on anyone ever and certainly would love to provide my daughter a less toxic world to live in.

Thankfully, I believe the reactions have somewhat burned out and I am not waking up with facial disfigurement, swelling in my throat and angio edema throughout my body. I can resume my life as a painter, my life's dream.

When I was going through this in 2005 there was no such web site as http://www.goinggraylookinggreat.com to advise. I hope in the future the dirty little secret the FDA is hiding is exposed to the many innocent women that regularly use these products.

Christine is married (25 years) to the man she fell in love with at the age of 16. With three children, two at university, one in high school, she says they still have “way too much fun together.” A painter, Christine plans to speak through her art for the next 50 years.

Editor’s note: For more information about PPD allergies and how they can occur suddenly, even after years of dyeing, and become progressively worse, see the article “A Burning Question” under the Transitioning tab.

Perri Jackson, mentioned in Christine's article, also had a “catastrophic injury” from hair dye in 2003. Since then, she has campaigned tirelessly to help other women make informed choices about coloring their hair. Perri has worked with attorneys, fellow victims, both young and old, and has sent information to every Congressman, Senator, and Governor, the Food and Drug Administration, newspapers and television media in every major city in every state, countless talk shows, the Center for Disease Control, the World Health Organization, and every public health ministry in Canada, Australia and Europe. Although she received little response, and less acknowledgment, she continues her efforts to alert women to the possible risks inherent in hair dye. She sent GGLG even more disturbing news regarding hair dye and the increased incidence of certain cancers, such as Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, bladder cancer, ovarian cancer and leukemia. Perri was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in 2007.

To read more of her story, and find out more about PPD, go to http://www.organicconsumers.org/bodycare/color102804.cfm

Find more information at these links:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/spotlight/2001-04-10-blasi-dye.htm

http://www.ccspublishing.com/journals3a/lymphomas.htm

http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/40001590/

http://aje.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/167/11/1321


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In the Spotlight - Changing Perceptions

Changing Perceptions, One Hair at a Time By Goldie Ingersoll

The phone rings. It's my friend from work. "Hey," she says. "We need to talk about that job posting." I sigh and ask. "What about it?" My friend replies: "Well, I think it would be perfect for you except..." "Except what?!" I ask. She blurts out, "It's your hair...that BLOND hair is going to age you! Can't you at least put some SILVER highlights in it to improve your chances for this position?"

In line at the market the checker eyes my roots and says, “Oh, honey- you‘re too young to have BLOND hair! The SILVERIZER is on aisle 10!”

My husband and I sit down to relax over a glass of wine. He asks, “Are you okay?” “Yeah, why?” I ask. “Well, um, your BLOND roots are showing and um...are you letting yourself go?!”

Perceptions. What if blond hair were equated with being old? Or black hair? Or brown hair? Would everyone run to the salon or drug store for a bottle of “silver” to cover up those pesky blond, black or brown roots?

In a Perfect (Silver) World

Arriving at the salon, your favorite stylist greets and eyes you suspiciously. "Weren't you just in here a few weeks ago?" "Yes," you reply, "but these darn BROWN roots seem to come in faster with every passing month!" The stylist smirks knowingly. "Yeah, that happens. Just yesterday a gal came in with completely deep CHESTNUT hair! Yikes! It aged her at least 10 years! I couldn't silverize it fast enough! Then I told her to grow it long."

Before hopping out of the car, you check your lipstick in the rear view mirror. Your brows furrow as you notice a renegade hair sticking up, mid-part. "Drat, another BLACK hair!" You mutter to yourself. Quickly, you pluck it out and smooth your beautiful silver hair.

You tuck your silver hair behind your ear as it falls forward, covering the menu. The waiter approaches and smiles broadly at you. He then turns to your RED-haired sister and asks: “What will you and your daughter order today?”

Perceptions.

Soft, white clouds against an easy blue sky...silver wedding bands sealed with a kiss....even the priceless brain is called "gray" matter. Everywhere you look, white, silver and gray are all acknowledged and valued as colors. Everywhere, that is, EXCEPT, on a woman's head!

True Story

An older woman missionary touches down on African soil. She instantly draws a crowd. Sweet, ebony hands reach out to touch and stroke her long, silver hair. They consider her a goddess. Why? The rarity of an object usually increases its value. In this corner of the world, people don't live long enough to see their hair turn silver. Their perception sees a treasure, a jewel, a goddess of a woman with desirable hair.

Changing Direction

Somewhere inside each of us is an internal compass. But only you can decide to allow someone to steer you off course. So great are these forces that you question yourself and even change the very hairs on your head to conform.

There is a "silver revolution" happening. There are women who are changing the perception of what it means to be "silver" in a "gold standard" world. These women are you and me. Us. Women who see silver, gray, pewter, charcoal, and white as colors to be valued, respected and admired.

So you stand at the crossroads of change. Where will your perceptions take you?

Goldie Ingersoll is thoroughly immersed in raising her brood (5 kids still at home & one very supportive DH). In her spare time she strives to start a "silver revolution" through whatever media will hear her!


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In the Spotlight - Radical Beauty

RADICAL BEAUTY by Michele Meyer

I was still a teenager when I got my first gray hair in my dark brown mane. I was hardly surprised. The arrival of gray before the second decade of life is not unusual in my Irish-American clan. My mother got her first gray hair at age nine and was completely white- haired by 40. The family gray is so predominant that our regular reunions are called the "Gray Hare Classics," to which we wear tacky t-shirts sporting gray rabbits. As my 45 year-old husband, who has yet to sprout a single gray hair, dryly notes about these gatherings: "You can certainly tell who was born into the family and who married in."

But my lack of surprise at graying did not translate into acceptance of it for many years. Although I always thought my Mom and the rest of the "Hares" were beautiful and striking, I wasn't ready to be seen as significantly older than I was. Even though I had a young face and body, I feared that all people would see was the gray hair and automatically assume I was at least a decade older than my real age. So I colored my hair regularly for 20 years.

After a few home coloring disasters, I knew that my unusual hair was a challenge that needed to be approached with care. Therefore, I chose top salons for my business. And what a business it was. Every three weeks, a two hour appointment that ran north of $150, plus tips. That adds up to a shocking $52,000 spent to hide my gray over the years. No wonder I was always greeted with a smile and offered a "free" coffee. Worse for me to contemplate is the 693 hours I spent in a hairdresser's chair, my scalp itching and my nose twitching from the fumes.

Still, I remained a faithful and committed salon color slave through thick and thin. I ensured that the roots never showed, timing coloring appointments around all manner of occasions, including the scheduled (for medical, not hair reasons) births of my three children. Once, I even walked a good distance through a terrible snowstorm to the salon because the streets were closed for the snow emergency. I was the only customer to make her appointment that morning!

I had many, many conversations with my sister (the only other person close to my age in the same gray boat) about when to stop coloring. She and I would complain at length about the expense and hassle and the sometimes less-than-perfect results, but we would always conclude that we weren't ready to stop coloring, "yet."

Imagine, then, my surprise when shortly after my 43rd birthday, I woke up and said to my husband "I'm done." I didn't know why I had suddenly become ready to go gray when just the day before the very thought horrified me. But I was sure of my decision. As a friend's mother once told me, deciding to go gray was a lot like deciding to put a sick dog down: you will just know when the time is right.

I knew when I decided to put my head out of its misery that the resulting change would generate some interest among my friends and family. What I didn't know is that it would generate interest among a much wider group of beauty commentators, and that many would feel free to share even negative opinions.

I was shocked the first time I was heckled. I was about two months into my color-free life and had just gotten out of my car to do some shopping at a local strip mall. I heard shouting, and looking in the direction of the sound, I saw a man standing in front of a salon about 100 yards away. I quickly realized that he was shouting at me, and called out "WHAT?" He responded, loudly and clearly, "I SAID, I CAN COLOR YOUR HAIR!" It was too hard and complicated to yell back "I'M SURE YOU CAN, BUT I'M ON A VOYAGE TO A WHOLE NEW ME, AND IT DOESN'T INCLUDE YOU." So instead, I simply turned my back to him.

Another early comment was from a dear, hypochondriac friend who asked, with great concern, "Michele, are you ill?" I decided the fact that she could only understand a decision to stop coloring if it were a medical necessity was a reflection on her and not an indication that I looked sickly.

Since then, I've heard all sorts of comments and have come to realize that my hair is now a screen on which many women project their own anxieties about aging. Thus, I've heard more than once:

  • "But, why?"

    Because I think it looks beautiful. I know they don't share this opinion, or they wouldn't ask this question. That's ok, though, I don't take it personally. I think these ladies just can't imagine any sign of aging to be beautiful. Pity.

  • "At least you're not very wrinkled.”

    Of course I'm not. I'm 43. I am prematurely graying, not prematurely aging.

  • "Does you husband like it?”

    In fact, yes. My husband thinks it's pretty and shows self-confidence, which, in turn, is sexy to him. But I don't brag about my wonderful mate when asked this question because the person asking the question may have a less wonderful mate for whom she feels a need to pretend she is still the girl she once was.

  • "I guess it was just too much work to keep up with the coloring, huh?”

    My complaints about the time and expense of coloring notwithstanding, this comment always seems funny to me because I'm certainly not a low-maintenance groomer. Since puberty, I have never left the house without doing my hair and make-up. I work out at the gym like an absolute fiend. And I don't hesitate to spend money on my personal appearance. I welcome the free time and extra money that giving up coloring affords me, but I have to admit I'm not using either to catch up on great books or other lofty activities. Let's put it this way: my handbag and shoe collection have grown admirably since I stopped coloring.

  • "Well, you can always go back to coloring it again.”

    This has been said repeatedly although I have never expressed any uncertainty about my decision or any interest in changing it. But I think for many women, the idea that signs of aging are matters that you can choose to accept or fight is very, very comforting.

  • "If I knew my hair would come in like yours, I would stop coloring, too.”

    This suggests that somehow I have an unusually beautiful color of gray. Maybe that's true. But, as I tell ladies who say this, the only way to know whether your hair shares this same lovely quality is to stop coloring, too.

I have come to realize that my decision to stop coloring is nothing short of radical in our youth-oriented culture. Nora Ephron's hilarious book, I Feel Bad About My Neck, details the lengths that most women go to remain as young-looking as they can. But I reject Ms. Ephron's description of hair color as the most powerful weapon aging women have against our youth culture.

Coloring your hair is not a fight against youth culture; it's the ultimate acceptance of that culture. I've decided a more powerful weapon in this fight is to own the beauty of aging. That's why, I think, that I've in fact received many more positive comments on my gray hair than the negative ones. In fact, I am complimented almost daily on my hair (which $52,000 never bought me).

Such compliments are lovely to receive. But they aren't why I feel so good about my gray hair. Many women joke that they can't remember what their natural hair color is. For me, that wasn't really a joke. After years of coloring, I had what I think of as the "hair uniform” for (formerly) brunette women my age -- long, layered medium brown hair with lots of blonde highlights. It was a far cry from my true coloring, and over time, it just began to feel a far cry from my true self.

Now when I look in the mirror, here's what I see: me. I know that some people can't see me past the gray hair. That's ok. Although I am young for gray hair, I am old enough now that I can feel good about my appearance even if not everyone shares my opinion.

Pretty radical, huh?

Michele is a wife, mother of three children, and full-time lawyer in Washington DC. She enjoys waving her gray flag in all of these roles!


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Gray Hairstyles Gallery

GRAY HAIRSTYLES GALLERY

While most hairstyle sites show hundreds of styles, very few (if any) are shown on women with gray, silver, charcoal, or transitioning hair. And that’s a pity. So here, photographed on our own Members, are some of the favorite styles Silver Sisters gravitate to. With the exception of a few shots from the original book, most of our gals didn’t have the benefit of hair and makeup artists, studio lighting, or any of the other tricks of the trade that make hair pop and shine. But this is a good thing. Because it shows “real life” gray, the way it looks most days. And, as some of the pictures below show women actually in the transitioning process, you’ll get a chance to see how some of these styles work with color tips still on the ends. Browse through. You’ll get an idea or two for your next appointment.

New Do’s

It’s staring to happen! There are now a few stylin’ sites that are turning their artistic attention to silver hair! Granted, some of them are “out there,” but “dancing icicles” seem to inspire stylists, as well as creative plays with highlights and lowlights. Might be fun to try while you’re waiting for your pixie to grow out. You’ll find these looks at http://www.hairfinder.com.

And now, while we’re waiting for stripes, skunks, and streaks to disappear, do you realize they can be flaunted? Note the artful introduction of silver-on-white in these two styles called "Neopunk."

Artistry abounds in these two styles, with the underlaying of black in this modern choppy cut, and a touch of color for a bride to match the roses in her hair.

And the gray-peeking-through-blonde effect from http://www.latest-hairstyles.com/

THE PIXIE


Short & Choppy


The Bob


MID-LENGTH AND LAYERED


LONG, LONG, LONG



Wild Gray Women

WILD GRAY WOMEN

We’ve done a lot to de-bunk myths about gray being the haircolor for “little old ladies.” We’ve seen it on rock stars and movie stars (if only temporarily) and we’ve seen it in fashion ads and on runways. So we know it’s cool.

But most importantly, we know we’re not little old ladies. We’re out there living our lives, having our fun, being free. And sometimes, doing what we please is as un-traditional as choosing to go gray. Some of us are Wild Gray Women! Women who not only break with the tradition of coloring their hair, but who choose to express their creativity, their soul, their passion, in edgy new ways. Among them – tattoos! Bet you can’t guess who among us sport ‘em.

Sallee’s already ‘fessed up about a dragonfly tattoo on the back of her neck. Thought you’d all like to see it.


We've had our fun guessing. . .some of you got pretty close. Now it's time to tell all!

A. Snow Leopard

Who’s got it? Elizabeth

What inspired it? Elizabeth writes: “The snow leopard was very symbolic for me...It is an animal of mystery and strength and of course protective of its young. I had a pretty tough summer of 2003 while I was building our home, it's not easy working construction in a city that is known for the "good ole boys club". The cat was done when I completed our home in the Fall of 2003, it's my badge of honor and protection...now I have someone always "watching my back", and it covers the whole lower back, just so the eyes peek out over my jeans! It took 4 1/2 hours and hurt like the dickens, but I have NO regrets (other than I wish it was even bigger) I look forward to someday being able to add on to it. The Artist now lives in Costa Rica and Arizona...sounds like a vacation is in my future;-)"


Did you guess these?


B. C. Butterflies, Names and Snake

Who’s got them? Sallee

What inspired it? Getting rid of the past. Sallee got her first butterfly tattoo at the age of 17, along with a “property patch.” Which clearly stated she was the property of her biker husband, who also had tattoos. “That’s how naive I was,” she says. In her early 40’s, after she was divorced, she was “damned if I was going to die with his name tattooed on me.” So she had the patch removed, and later added her grandchildren’s names around the butterfly. The dragonfly came this summer, representing courage, and as Sallee says, “That’s something I need to remind myself to have. To always have the courage to be true to myself and face my fears.” The snake came a few weeks later. Why the snake? 1953 was the Chinese Year of the Snake, the same year Sallee was born. The snake is inked on what Sallee lovingly calls her “cankles,” a Brit term for thick ankles. She’s English, and figures she inherited them rightfully. But now she’s ready to show them off with a sexy little sidewinder!


D. Sun Sign

Who’s got it? Dede

What inspired it? Dede’s a sun worshipper, and there’s no doubt the sun symbol is her mark. Twelve years ago, she got her first sun tattoo, “in a place people don’t usually see.” But she realized, about two years ago, she needed a “second sun” because she has two sons. This one is smack in the middle of her back, and has a compass within it so she never loses her way. It also has the same yin-yang symbol of balance her first sun tattoo has. It’s her way of staying calm, cool, and, well, balanced throughout her life. What’s her next tattoo? Maybe her lips! Stay tuned.



NEW 'TOOS


Rose

Who’s got it? Sharon

What inspired it? Sharon writes: "I had my tattoo done 12 years ago at a time when I was going through a marriage break up. My then husband 'forbade' me to have a tattoo. So I went out and had one. He also forbade me to have my nose pierced. Guess what? Yes, I had that done too. I only kept the nose ring in for a few months but of course the tattoo is still with me. I chose the rose bud because to me it symbolised how I saw myself at that time - a flower that had not yet bloomed. Maybe I should have another one, this time of a rose in full bloom!


Short "sleeves"

Who’s got it? Wendy

What inspired it? Wendy writes: "All my tattoos, in some way or another, reflect my love and attempts to understand (as much as I can) my son's unique world view. He is autistic and has taught me a lot about being true to yourself and not giving a hoot about what other's think. Luckily, I have a wonderful job as a massage therapist at the University of Maryland's Health Center which gives me the freedom not to worry one bit about how all my ink might reflect on my earning power. Turns out, academic environments are perfect! My clients accept me as I am. None of my tattoos are hidden either. For me, I prefer to be able to see them when I need to." See Wendy in Newbies First Semester.


Dragons

Who’s got it? Bambi/"RuffDiamond"

What inspired it? RuffDiamond's passion for life and for teaching. The tattoo on her shoulder is the Dragon of Endless Energy. And to the left of it is the symbol for Krav Maga, a system of self defense against acts of violence, which she teaches to police officers, air marshals, bodyguards and civilians. Guess she needs endless energy for that! The dragon near her waist is the Dragon of Passion. She had both done at the age of 49, including tattoos on both wrists: the Chinese characters for passion and power.


Know any Wild Gray Women? Are you one? Have any tattoos? Or any other way you express your own individuality? Please send us pics, and be one of our WGW’s!


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Diana’s Interview on Hairdesigner TV (part 1 / Hair)

DIANA'S INTERVIEW ON HAIRDESIGNER TV (part 1 / Hair)


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Positive Thoughts

Positive Thoughts

Photo © Warner Brothers

It may seem strange to begin an article on Positive Thoughts with the Wicked Witch of the West. Green face aside; she really must do something about that dull, dry gray hair. And those eyebrows! See what we mean about not using a gray pencil?

But to get to positive thoughts, it’s natural to confront a few negatives first. Like why are movie villains portrayed with gray or white hair? Take Cruella De Vil, for instance. Lovingly played by Glenn Close, she still was pretty bad. Like her right brain/left brain white/black hair. Wink your eyes. Which side looks more angelic?

And, of course, Meryl Streep did wonders for white hair when she played über magazine editor Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. Exuding confidence and power, you still have to admit, she was downright mean.

Fortunately, more men than women portray villains as gray-haired evil do-ers. The list is quite long (yes, there’s a top 50), ranging from Darth Vader (can you consider his helmet “steel gray?”) to Tom Cruise in Collateral. Hey, he makes a pretty neat gray, so take a look.

I don’t know why gray hair is perceived as “evil,” although I believe it probably stems from our earliest visions of witches. But that brings me to more positive thoughts.

Beauty is directly related to personality, joy, generosity of spirit, and an open and accepting attitude to life. If you go gray, and you were a bit witchy before, you’ll still be witchy. Nothing’s going to change that, and you’ll simply add to the myth of gray haired villains.

I like the way Dara Barnes, who posts as greeneyes, said it:

“Beauty comes from within. Of course we do the best with what we have on the outside, as well...but I’ve known some very beautiful women (on the outside) who were very ugly in personality. On the other hand, a woman 10 years older than me, is one of the most beautiful ladies I have even known. The first time I met her, I thought she was a bit heavy, she dressed sorta strange, wore bright make-up - she wasn’t what I would have called pretty. But her smile lit up the room. After knowing her for almost 20 years now, I think how attractive she is. She is one of the kindest, most joy-filled women I have known in my life. And now, I find her beautiful. Someone who met her (years after I had) was mentioning her strange appearance - some of the same thoughts I had in the beginning. It surprised me, because I had forgotten my first impressions.

Long story to say, ALL women can be beautiful by our smiles, our attitudes, and the energy that comes from inside us - AND - we all question our beauty at times, no matter what our hair color.

And about that gray... I have seen far too many beautiful ladies in gray now – no one can convince me it cannot be beautiful.”

Photo © UPI

So while you’re questioning if your hair color is going to change the way people perceive or react to you, keep in mind that YOU aren’t changing. Not on the inside. And that’s what radiates through to the outside. Take a look at Kathy Bates, who starred as a real baddy in Misery. Funny thing is, most of her hair was dark in that film. Today, she’s absolutely radiant with silver-streaked hair.

Then look at Diane Keaton. In the movie Mad Money, she didn’t play a really bad person. Just a down-on-her luck housewife who had to take a janitorial job. OK, at the Federal Reserve, where she hatched a plot with co-workers to remove money marked for demolition. Yes, her hair was streaky gray, and she looked fantastic. Didn’t stick. She showed up at the movie premier back to her old blond-ish color. Not everybody wants to be gray.

But if you do... and when you are... just know that there’s a true, natural beauty inside. A beauty that’s always been there, will continue to be there, and will shine all the more because you’ve discovered just another sparkling facet of yourself. And that’s not a bad thing at all.


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Newsflash: Gray Hair Makes News

Newsflash: Gray Hair Makes News!

This just in. Or maybe it’s buzz that’s been around for awhile. But news is always happening in the world of grays, and it’s fun to see what people are talking about. NEW feature -- now you can leave a comment on any article. Just scroll to the bottom!

Columbus Covers Gray

This just in. Channel 10, in Columbus Ohio, did a great feature on gray hair, starring our own Story Girl, Winona. Oz made a cameo appearance, as well, through the miracle of satellite taping. Didn't even need to leave Charlotte! Love it that the homepage of the website got in the story, too, so you'll see a few more Silver Sisters! Go check it out, and please leave a comment. Stand up for your silvers! Here's the link: 10tv

GGLG Gets Around

And how! The site, the Silver Sisters, and OZ have been popping up in the news everywhere. From the cover pages of the Image section in the LA Times and The Mix section of the Salt Lake Tribune, to blogs and radio shows, the silver spirit is alive and well. In case you’ve missed some of the most recent links, here they are for your viewing, reading, and listening pleasure.

Los Angeles Times http://www.latimes.com/features/image/la-ig-gray-20100711,0,1881985.story

Salt Lake Tribune http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/home/49847494-76/gray-hair-women-says.html.csp

Style Goes Strong blog http://www.stylegoesstrong.com/top-10-ways-make-gray-great

Stephen Diamond Radio Show http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2010/06/diana-lewis-jewell-going-grey-episode-29/

We're on BoomerGirl

Today, in BoomerGirl Diary, Cathy Hamilton writes about being chosen to be a GGLG Gallery Girl. Love the write-up, filled with many chuckles. Says her dream of being a cover girl was quashed (thank God there was Heidi Klum to take up the slack!). You'll find this just-between-us-boomers kind of writing all the way through this website, and it's a fun read. Find it today at this link: http://www.boomergirl.com/. Since the blog continues, day-to-day, you'll have to scroll to Wednesday, June 9th, to see it. Cathy also covered our appearance on the Today Show, stating Silver is Still Sexy, and yup, she's got a point there.

Silver Sisters on Today Show

On June 2nd, four GGLG Silver Sisters did a guest spot on the Today Show. Part of a weeklong series, “It’s All About the Hair,” they discussed what it was really like to be gray. Suzanne Fleishman, Deirdre Michaels, Nadine Duke, and Diana Jewell chatted for hours on the rooftop of the Rare View restaurant in NYC, in a spot designed to resemble the four gals of Sex & the City. Let’s not forget the Cosmopolitans! When the segment aired, the hours of conversation boiled down to about a minute of airtime, but it was all in good fun. The rest of this clip debates the pro’s and cons of going gray, but we didn’t have any “cons.” Silver Sisters are always happy with their decision to be sterling examples! For a behind-the-scenes look at what went on, check out the Events tab.

Boomer or Bust?

Some interesting stats come to us from Redken. Those in the boomer generation (1946-1964), 77 million strong, invest $5.3 billion a year on anti-aging products and services. Women over the age of 45 account for 42% of skincare, makeup, personal hygiene and haircare consumption worldwide. And they frequent the salon twice as much as their younger counterparts, resulting in annual salon spending that is roughly twice that of women below the age of 45. So with all this consumer power, you'd think salons would listen to us. Think again. No doubt about it, color services are the big tickets, and salons count on the "older" customer for more color services than the younger customer. But instead of cultivating a dye habit for life, how much smarter would it be to cultivate a care habit? We want our hair to be shiny, soft, silky, stylish. We turn into product junkies, spending more than we ever did. And we'll also spend more on other salon services, once freed from coloring: manicures, pedicures, facials, highlighting, lowlighting, glazes, conditioning treatments. Salons, it's time for a re-think!

White Hair Hits Runway Again!

We've seen it last Spring. We've seen it for Fall '09. And now, the Spring '10 haute couture runway shows in Paris are showing bits and pieces of gray again. So reports Stylelist.com in their article "Block Hair & Gray Streaks: Couture Hair Gets Whimsical" by Courtney Dunlop. You'll find lots of colors (think blue, magenta) contrasted to gray, and a few subtle silver streaks. Chanel did it nicely. But what I really find amusing is the text. "Shockingly, shocks of gray hair are becoming the must-have look of the season." And "Dare we say the gray streaks at Chanel actually look fresh and fun? Is that possible? Maybe it's the big heart-shaped bouffant in the back, or the straight, shiny bangs, or perhaps it's because of the delightful, antique-looking, slightly tattered headpieces but this almost (almost!) makes us want to have gray streaks of our own." Almost? Hey, we've got our gray and we're very fashionable, indeed! Photo: Getty images.

HAIRDESIGNER TV INTERVIEWS DIANA

This is where the hair pros go for advice, information and current trends. It’s a wonderful website created by Vivienne Mackinder, a major powerhouse in the industry. As a former Artistic Director for Vidal Sassoon and Trevor Sorbie, she developed her expertise for precision cutting and her eye for original hair design, and has earned the title master stylist many times over. Today, she’s always whizzing around to do seminars and events around the country, collecting awards (her latest, to a standing ovation, from the North American Hairstyling Awards for her achievements within the profession, as an artist and film maker), doing runway collections, editorial and advertising, producing her documentary film series about the “legends” in the industry, and managing this sensational website. If there’s a pro out there who doesn’t know about it, go to http://www.hairdesignertv.com NOW! In fact, all of you can go there to see what’s really going on in hairstylist-land. Including this interview, the first of three segments. Although this was originally taped just before our site went up, it’s airing on her site now, and here!


NICOLE SHOWS 'EM

The Daily Mail, a newspaper in England, had a few choice words to say about Nicole Kidman’s itty bitty silvery roots. None of them really nice. She was guest of honor at a star-studded party in Beverly Hills, sponsored by Elle Magazine. And – horrors, to the Daily Mail – she let her roots show. They kidded her about skipping a color appointment, making a “misstep in her otherwise impeccably groomed” appearance, and giving in to the stress of new motherhood. Readers of this article did write in with kinder comments, but it just goes to show you. People think you can’t be glam and gray, too? I think Nicole disproves that! Photo: Splash.


GET THE PARTY STARTED!

Two-time Grammy-winning singer/songwriter Pink burst on the scene in 2000, but it was her second rock-based album, Missundaztood, that put her on the map, going gold or platinum in more than 20 countries. Pink took a break after her third album didn’t meet expectations. In 2006, she came out with the tellingly entitled album, I’m not Dead. That did it, re-establishing her as a top global artist. So far, Pink has sold over 25 million albums, with Funhouse due for release this October. Born Alecia Beth Moore in Doylestown, Pennsylvania, Pink’s original image was bright pink hair. Saying she never liked that, she switches back and forth, going blonde, white, whatever. Featured on the remix of India.Arie’s song, “I Am Not My Hair,” I guess Pink really proves it!


THE NEW CELEBRITY

According to a new NPD Group study reported in Women’s Wear Daily, our “taste” in celebrities is changing. Now we want “comfort” celebs; those who will come into our home, tell us how to cook, how to decorate, how to live. We prefer good advice to ga-ga glamour. We’d rather have a friend than someone who makes us feel like we should drop about 20 pounds. Could it be the economy? Insecurity about the future? Could we be tired of seeing excess extravagance? Annoyed at re-hab ingénues? Robert Thompson, professor of popular culture at Syracuse University, says it reflects the fragmentation of American culture. Whatever the reason, I like it that chefs like Paula Deen (“most trusted”) and Rachael Ray and good-old home designer Ty Pennington have won our hearts. It’s so homey, so, well, comforting. And, personally, I’d trust anyone with silver/white hair!


ROOTS ARE IN!

Us Magazine has captured Jennifer Lopez, several times in fact, sporting about an inch of salt and pepper on her head. She showed up at the ALMA Awards on May 7th and Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People party on May 8th unafraid to flash what is commonly known as the “skunk stripe.” Gee, with new babies, who has time for hair color, anyway? The actress is 36, and rumors abound, she’s joined the revolution! Takeaway point: If you've got roots, flaunt 'em. Never before has the "in" style been so kind to transitioners! Photo: Everett Collection.


THIS REPORTER IS THE NEWS!

While we’re beginning to see a few women anchors and reporters sporting gray hair, they’re definitely in the minority. But Jill Dougherty, U.S. Affairs Editor for CNN International, is a shining example of silver. And what an accomplished woman! Previously managing editor of CNN International Asia Pacific, and, before that, Moscow Bureau Chief, Dougherty covered critical world events, including the presidencies of Boris Yeltsin and Vladimir Putin, the post-Soviet economic transition, and the conflict in Chechnya. As a former White House correspondent, she was part of the CNN team that won the American Journalism Review’s 1993 Award for Best White House Coverage. But her biggest assignment came when she had to tackle breast cancer. Diagnosed in 1999, she took the appropriate steps, underwent treatment, and covered stories in Moscow during chemo. She reported that her hair did come back, but it was “never the same.” Maybe it’s better!

AMERICAN SALON SAYS GRAY IS SUDDENLY SEXY!

American Salon, one of the most influential magazines for hair professionals, devoted a full-page article to Going Gray, Looking Great! in the April issue. Written by Editor-in-Chief, Marianne Dougherty, "Gray's Anatomy" asks the critical question: "Should you be concerned if your clients want to give in to the light side?" Then offers ample encouragement for salons to take us seriously! She advises salons to order copies of the book for their customers, so maybe one of these days soon, you'll be able to find it at a salon near you! Favorite quote? "Diana Lewis Jewell's Going Gray, Looking Great! is a no-nonsense guide for going gray." Second favorite quote comes from Brad Johns, color director at Elizabeth Arden Red Door, who likens going through transition to re-hab -- he calls it "grayhab!" Oh, don't we know!

Thought you might like to read the article in its entirety, so I’m putting it here.

AARP STAR

The May/June issue of AARP Magazine features Jamie Lee Curtis on its cover. Emerging from a pool, with nothing but a smile and her short crop of gray hair, she’s celebrating turning 50 in an article by Nancy Griffin. Jamie’s all for stripping down to her “essential being,” which includes only wearing black and white, clean living, and clean lines. The actress, author and spokesperson born of Hollywood royalty (Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis) has decided to focus on the things that are important to her: family, charities, and an occasional film role (as long as it doesn’t interfere with her life.) The silver hair? It’s all part of being just who she is.


WHO'S IN THE NEWS? WE ARE!

The March issue of Hair's How Magazine, subscribed to by salon professionals, has an article on helping baby boomers gray gracefully. Written by Naomi Mannino, it urges stylists to really listen to women when they want to go gray, know their products, and come up with creative ways to help a woman transition. As more and more salons discover that the graying customer should be taken seriously, more and more of us will be able to get the cut, styling, and color services we all want. But here’s my favorite quote: “Advise [clients] to check out the book and the website at www.goinggraylookinggreat.com to educate themselves on all the different ways you can help them look great, no matter what way they gray. Check it out yourself if you’re young and unsure of the choices for this market.” I don’t know about the young part, I think some seasoned pros need to look at gray in a whole new way too. But, really, I’m delighted that the word is reaching the professional community, because in the end, we all like being pampered – and respected – in a salon. Visit Hair's How at www.hairshow.us

NEW YORK PHILHARMONIC PLAYS NORTH KOREA

That, in itself, is news. The musical ambassadors of the oldest orchestra in the United States played a concert in North Korea February 26th, opening the doors of this closed society just a crack to Western culture. Playing a program of their own choosing, including our national anthem and George Gershwin’s “An American in Paris,” they received an enthusiastic reception and played encore after encore. So what does this have to do with gray hair? Our own great gray, Irene Breslaw Grapel, was playing in her usual position of second chair, as assistant principal viola, with the orchestra. I can always spot Irene at concerts. She is in the chair closest to the audience, second row. But what really grabs my attention is her snow white hair (looking a bit longer now than it did when she was first photographed for Going Gray, Looking Great!) This performance is just one stop on their Asian tour, which includes Beijing and Seoul. But I’m dying to ask her all about it when she gets back, including how did her glistening white crop go over in a land predominated by black hair? I’m sure she’ll have lots of stories to tell. Stay tuned.


IS OSCAR GOING GRAY?

First, there was Judi Dench, then Helen Mirren. Now, Ruby Dee is up for Best Actress in a Supporting Role at the Oscar ceremonies for her performance in Ridley Scott’s “American Gangster.” And she’s a great gray if there ever was one. Well, she should be – hard to believe, but she’s 83. Still, the gal knows how to glam, and we can expect to see her looking lovely on Oscar night. Her role as Mama Lucas, the loving mother of Harlem heroin kingpin Frank Lucas, alongside Hollywood heavyweights Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington, is considered pivotal, and has already earned her a SAG award. Will she grab the gold? Adding her very first Oscar to her Emmy, Grammy and SAG statue? Stay tuned. If you’re reading this after Oscar weekend, we’re keeping it up because we like her pic, anyway! Go, Ruby!


THE CLOONEY IDENTITY

As reported by Women’s Wear Daily, February 15, 2008, Just for Men, the bestselling U.S. haircoloring brand for men, is caving a bit to those who want to keep their grays and look great doing it. Now they’re launching Touch of Gray, a five-shade lineup for men who want to find just the perfect shade to give them that Clooney/Cooper/Gere thing. The packaging reads “Lets you keep some gray,” and “Works gradually,” but what I don’t get is – why are the shades called Light Brown, Medium Brown, Dark Brown, Black and Jet Black? It’s like being a little bit pregnant. The president of the company says “It would reduce a man who is 50% gray to a darker color, closest to the color he had previously.” Men, go gray or not! Look for it at a store near you at the end of March. And watch for lots of advertising, too.


BOOZERS ARE COLOR LOSERS?

This is an interesting tidbit picked up from an article in Allure by Kristin Cobb, and also an AOL Health Watch article reported by Chris Sparling on gray hair and alcohol consumption. Seems a study published in Archives of Dermatology (January, 2007) conducted by Australian doctor Albert Stuart Reece suggested a link between gray hair and addiction to alcohol or drugs. Dr. Reece found that 53% of people addicted to drugs or alcohol had substantial gray hair, versus 16% of those who did not have a substance abuse problem. Reece speculated, “women drinking more than 2 drinks each day may be in the toxic zone.” Chris Sparling pulled no punches by stating “regular boozers have twice the amount of premature gray hair as people who lay off the sauce.” He also upped the ante by suggesting that as few as three drinks per day is enough to affect hair color. So what is it? Two drinks, three drinks? Who’s counting? The point is, nobody knows how much alcohol is “safe.”

The crux of both articles is alcohol may damage stem cells that make hair pigment. Well, gang, so do lots of other things. We might as well include smokers here, too. Studies have shown that smokers are 4 times more likely to become prematurely gray (or bald!) Nicotine, when absorbed by the body, constricts the body’s blood vessels. You knew that. But think about it. If you can’t pump pigment or other vital nutrients to the follicles, what do you think happens? Of course, there are always exceptions. I know a 61 year-old man who smokes like a demon, has all his hair, and 99% of his natural color! And even the best of families can have ole' greataunt Millie who drinks a fifth of vodka every day and dies a flaming redhead.

Several prescription drugs can interrupt the normal hair-growth cycle, as well, so hair falls out faster, and you notice more and more gray hair. Even certain vitamins and herbal supplements have been implicated in pigment loss. There’s a long list of possible causative factors for graying in Going Gray, Looking Great!, including things your body’s going to put you through naturally, like hormonal shifts, menopause, and autoimmune diseases. So let’s go a little lighter on those who choose to consume (although, hopefully, not in excess.) Judging from the heated comments the AOL article inspired, people are going to do what they want. And what their bodies do to them in return is part their own doing, part nature’s.


TOO FUNNY TO LEAVE OUT

This wonderful clip was sent in by our Member, Lori (Plinkette). And while you may have seen it in the Café, it’s worth putting in here. Maybe we’re all crazy!


WEIRD SCIENCE

On a day in May, 2004 (just about the same time Going Gray, Looking Great! was first published), Amanda Onion reported on a strange phenomenon for ABC News that was copyrighted again in 2008 by ABC News Internet Ventures. The article mentioned that Chris Gummer, a senior research fellow at Procter & Gamble labs in London, UK, was working on a pill that would prevent graying. Seems he felt this natural process was devastating.

"One gray fiber is enough to shatter a life," said Gummer, "Even if someone has 20 million dark hairs on her head, this single strand can create a tremendous cascade of grief."

Oh, please.

The article went on to report that researchers had succeeded in making an albino mouse turn black in one patch by tinkering with the scalp’s genes. As reported in the last chapter of my book, what they actually did was alter a tyrosinase mutation in a hair follicle gene. (Remember, tyrosinase is the enzyme involved in the synthesis of melanin.) And if you read further, you'll find out that scientists had also created a nice crop of glowing green hair for mice by injecting skin grafts with a glowing green gene. Nice, if you like green hair. Obviously, we’re a long way from delivering a full range of Clairol shades!

The reality is, nearly all your hair follicles would have to be modified to create a full head of non-gray hair. It’s a tricky process at best. And, of course, your skin contains a lot of pigment cells as well, so you could end up with a dark scalp. “That would look horrible, obviously,” admits Gummer. You also don’t want to tweak skin cells so they lose their melanin; that’s what protects us from the sun.

Now we go back to the mice. The albino mice whose hair turned black. Know how long that lasted? Two months. Guess then they'd have to have their roots done -- like any woman determined not to go gray.

But Gummer was optimistic that someday soon getting rid of gray would be as easy as using toothpaste. “I do think we’ll achieve it within 10 years, but the challenges in delivering it will be quite hard,” he said at the time. Let’s see, that was 2004. We’ve got 6 years left – and counting.


See any newsflashes you’d like to have covered here? Send ‘em in!


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Reality Check: Does the Media Get Gray Hair Right?

Reality Check: Does the Media Get Gray Hair Right?

Real or Not?

Can you tell just a shade of difference between model Agyness Deyn's hair and that of our cover girl, Chazz? That's what makes all the difference between salon white and completely natural. Still, we can thank Agyness for making "almost white" look cool, kicky and fun!

Separated at Birth?

Have you noticed a striking resemblance between our Scottish lass Newbie, Second Semester, Helen Burton ("Silverlake") and the new model in the Fendi ads? Are you moonlighting, Helen?

SIGNS OF THE TIMES

Recently, I passed by a nearby bus stop. There was the familiar two-sided kiosk sign on the side wall of the shelter. It stopped me in my tracks because I noticed both sides of the sign featured a gray-haired lovely. A gym, once the provenance of lithe 20-somethings, used a silvering woman to express fitness, health and vitality. The flip-side of the sign featured a Chanel sunglass ad. And yes, there was a fantastic crop of white hair. Okay, the model was probably 20-something, but who cares. It still said this is a fashion color for hair. Do you think this is trying to tell us something?

SILVER AND THE CITY?

Although the Sex and the City gals are now admitting to 40-something, nothing stops them from hitting the bottle. And I don't mean their Cosmopolitans. Wouldn't it have been fun, modern, current, if just one of them had turned into a silver fox? Sexy Samantha, maybe, as her hair grew back in after chemo. But no, wasn't to be. The only sexy silver seems to be actress Lynn Cohen, playing Magda. And in "real" life, she's quite glam!

IS FRIZZ IN?

Remember what we said about gray hair and frizz – it just makes you look old?

Apparently not. Leave it to Vogue to make it look, well, interesting. But unless you’re willing to pile on all that eye makeup, stick a few sparkly things in your hair to give it some life, and waft off to work like this, I’d skip this look. Still, it’s all part of the fantasy fashion’s having with gray hair lately. Wouldn’t it be nice if they’d admit gray hair exists in the real world?

Photo credit: Vogue photograph by Irving Penn


CURLS OF ANOTHER COLOR

A recent Vera Wang ad campaign fares better on the gray front. Here the waves are nicely scrunched and defined, and the hair has some life. You don’t need the crown jewels at all. Or the black eyes. Or the snow, for that matter. (Unless you’re feeling very Anna Karenina.) This is hair that is good to go.


ONCE IN A BLUE MOON

Although I hate to use the word blue around gray hair, here’s a shot from a recent H&M campaign. No dramatics. No dark eyes. Just showing a great-looking woman who happens to have white hair. I feel better already.


MODERN MUSE

Supermodel Daria Werbowy turned gray on the pages of December Vogue (well, for one or two shots, anyway.) What I like about this is that Vogue used it as a tribute to modernity in artist George Condo’s work. Come to your own conclusions about the hair style, but do note the details. A celadon green dress (remember what we said about grayed-pastels? See Fashion Finds, the colors to wear with gray hair). Celadon is a green with some gray to it. And note the necklace. Certainly a focal point – but see how it plays to the gray?

Photo credit: Vogue photograph by Mario Testino


WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

For his Spring 2008 collection, John Galliano sent a bevy of faux gray-hairs down the runway. Although his looks channeled the 40’s, with a bit of Little Bo Peep thrown in for good measure, the hair and makeup was channeling the Wicked Witch of the West. Even on bad hair days, we all can do better than this!


Oops, he did it again. For his Spring 2009 show. Maybe this time he was channeling the Easter Bunny?

And for Spring '09, Jean Paul Gaultier also went for the silver, suggesting it with model skull caps. Fashion, or fiction? Look closely. You'll see some silver hair there.


Photos by Don Ashby & Olivier Copyright © CondeNet 2007, Spring '09 Photos by Greg Kessler and Antonello Trio


HAS CARMEN EVER LOOKED COOLER?

Carmen, the white-haired model who really started it all, has become a classic icon of sophisticated silver-ness. But look at her now in a new Rolex campaign. Sexy, glam, and over seventy!


FUTURE SHOCK

OK, we know white hair has come to stand for something far out in the future. In a galaxy far, far, away, probably. We all know it’s here and now, but apparently Motorola and Verizon want us to think otherwise. Girls, get on your leather wristbands!


YA GOTTA LOVE DOVE

As part of its Campaign for Real Beauty, Dove scores high points with this ad. A gorgeous shade of charcoal hair, a real looking woman (wrinkes and all), and a super natural look. Proving that gray hair doesn’t have to be witchy, bitchy or frumpy.


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Hip? Hip? Hooray?

When I wrote Going Gray Looking Great! in 2004, I said my mission was to show women “how to keep their gray, and their cool, too.” This quote was picked up by newspapers around the country because it was a novel idea. Gray? Cool? Those two words had never been uttered in the same sentence before.

But I know us. We’re not about to go quietly into that gray goodnight. We want to look just as young, just as vibrant, and, yes, just as cool as we’ve always felt.

At first, it wasn’t easy convincing people of this. I had a meeting with the then Marketing Director of Harper’s Bazaar who told me their magazine was for the “ultra chic, ultra fashionable, ultra hip,” and gray hair really didn’t fit into that world. Forgetting the fact, I guess, that their median-age reader is 38.3 years – well into graying territory, whether they’re ultra hip or not.

I met with haircolor giant L’Oréal, and while some vice presidents saw where this could go, the final verdict came down – “We are a color house, why would we be interested in gray hair?” Admittedly, a home-coloring line introduced in 2000 had not performed well. It was called Gray Chic, a collection of seven sheer, ammonia-free color tones that promised to add brightness, clarity and luminosity, while banishing yellow. A line some women tell me they’re still looking for today. They won’t find it. It was discontinued. But then came the revolution.

Suddenly – boom! – (or should I say Boomer?) gray hair was everywhere. In the magazines, the movies, advertising, and on the heads of celebrities. Take a look.


I’m not saying this is real-world gray. It still has an obvious edge of fantasy to it. But there’s no denying it’s fallen into the realm of the ultra chic, ultra hip, ultra fashionable. And I say HOORAY!


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What do men really think about gray?

What do men really think about gray?

Gray hair can be quite elegant. It depends on the style, too—does it flatter the face. I know some quite beautiful women who have gray hair. - John, 58, physician, Lexington, Kentucky

My wife’s starting to gray a little bit, and I couldn’t care less. I didn’t marry her because of her hair color. - Erich, 42, design director, Dumont, New Jersey

Gray hair can be stunning with certain skin tones. Makes a huge difference in whether it makes you look older. I know some thirty-somethings with gray hair, and it looks great. - Kermit, 53, national sales account manager, Cleveland, Ohio

I like it. It is natural, and I think it’s great. - Mitch, 47, waiter, Santa Monica, California

My wife told me she was thinking of dyeing her hair since it was becoming gray. I thought about a friend of ours who is a lot younger than we are and all gray, and how very attractive she is. So I told her to let it grow in and see how it looks. Gray hair can be quite attractive. It depends on the individual. - Len, 50, home furnishings retailer, Fairfield, Connecticut

I’ve always liked gray hair, even when I was younger. If a woman is active and fit, there’s nothing sexier than well-groomed gray hair. - Mike, 54, writer, Big Bear Lake, California

Gray hair can be elegant. Inviting. What I am attracted to is a woman who smiles. One who is a happy person; I rarely notice hair color. Gray or not is not a huge factor in attractiveness. But I don’t like ‘blue. - Greg, 51, developer, Erie, Pennsylvania

I think my wife looks more beautiful than ever. I love her gray hair. That’s part of our life together. I would hate for her to dye it. - André, 46, publisher, Hastings-on-Hudson, New York

The sexiest thing about a woman with classic beauty is the wisdom of her gray. - Rus, 35, teacher, Colton, California

I see personality. Hair color is secondary. - John, 47, attorney, Orange, California

Like the lustre on fine pearls, silver hair is a woman’s patina. - Christopher, 56, attorney, Chicago, Illinois

I think it’s hot. One, because it shows a woman has the confidence to wear her hair any color she wants. And two, because chances are good she’s an ex-hippie chick. - John, 52, art director, New York, New York


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What do women really think about gray?

What do women really think about gray?

“I think we’re the first gray- haired generation that isn’t invisible.” Carol Tanenbaum, consultant

“It took guts to do it, it really did; but I would never, never, never go back.” Dr. Anne-Rene Testa, psychologist

“For me, the decision was not to go gray, but whether to color my hair. I find color an enormous commitment.” Ellen Fox, financial adviser, Rockefeller Foundation


“I’ve been provided with this light around me, which I think softens whatever 'minuscule' wrinkles I have.” Marilyn Sokol, actress

“I feel so much better now than when I used to get compliments on my dyed hair. I used to feel it’s not me. But now – it’s all me!” Setsuko Nagata Ikeda

“I have great fun with it; people stop me all the time. From the time I was sixteen, people were telling me how cool it was.” JoAnne


“I just like gray. I’ve always liked it. I can’t wait until it goes all white.” Rita Citron

“I've actually been called foxy with this hair. And I always say, 'You mean silver foxy.” Joan Kaner

“My hairdresser told me, 'People pay a lot of money to get their hair this color.'” Deborah Aiges


“I started to gray at eighteen, and I’ve been every color imaginable since then. . .dark black/brown, purple, navy... but it got to the point where I didn’t know what color it was underneath, anymore. White was my 40th birthday gift to myself.” Chazz Levi

“People have a preconceived notion about what gray hair should look like, or what gray-haired people should wear, or how old they have to be. I didn't even realize I had gray hair until I started noticing their reactions.” Ruth Lawson

“I am in the book and I am proud to be. There was only one time I tried covering my gray. I hated it. People stopped complimenting me, strangers no longer spoke to me. I immediately went back to natural color which was salt & pepper at the time. Now I am totally silver.” Jamie deRoy, Jamie deRoy & Friends, on MNN, every other Tuesday at 8:00 PM Time Warner, channel 67 and RCN, channel 109


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FAQS

FAQS

Q. How long should the graying process take?

A. There’s no hard and fast rule for that, due to all the physiological factors that can influence the rate at which melanin production diminishes. But if your hair seems to be graying rather rapidly, keep in mind the normal process of shedding. Most people lose approximately 50 to 100 strands of hair a day. The gray strands become more noticeable as the darker strands disappear. A condition called telogen effluvium, in which actively growing hairs suddenly enter telogen, or the resting phase, can speed up shedding to 300 hairs a day. This condition mainly affects women in their forties, fifties and sixties, as a response to physical or psychological stress. Major surgery, loss of a loved one, depression, or, yes, sudden shock, can start the process. So can a shortage of protein or iron in your diet. Your body shifts hairs into resting gear to conserve its nutritional balance. They fall out; you seem to gray faster.

Q. My gray hair feels different from my pigmented hair. Is it drier or just more stubborn?

A. Some women notice no difference at all between the gray hairs and the pigmented hairs on their head. Others will tell you they're coarser or frizzier. But, rest assured, even if the hair shows no textural changes, deep down inside, it has changed.

A gray hair has a different composition than a non-gray hair. Its cuticle is usually thicker. But it is missing its melanin, and some of its vital protein. You may think a shaft of gray or white hair is a stubborn, wiry little thing, but inside, it's a weakling. It isn't fortified by keratin, those vital protein bundles. In very dry hair, the keratin scales are totally lacking, with a greater potential for further damage.

Due to changes in the follicle, gray hair strands may eventually become thinner in diameter. Just the kind of hair that is less able to stand up to chemical treatments. If you regularly subject it to more than one process, say coloring and straightening, the cuticle can become damaged. Permanently. No product on the market can rebuild the cuticle, although they can provide moisture, and soften out the roughened edges on a temporary basis.

Q. My gray hair just looks dull. Any reason?

A. Without melanin, the hair isn't self-protected from the sun's rays. And so it tends to "weather," becoming rougher and drier. The overlapping cells of the cuticle (think roof tiles) normally protect the strand against water loss. But, when they weather, they don't lie flat like an armored shield, moisture is lost, and strands can be easily damaged by sun, heat, chemicals, or rough handling. They also don't reflect light as well. When cuticle scales are raised, light filters into the hair, rather than reflects off of it. This can account for a dull, lackluster appearance.

Q. Not only is my hair turning gray, I’m losing it faster. Are the two connected?

A. Half of all women will experience age-related thinning or loss after the age of 40. Because this shows up at about the same time many women go noticeably gray, it's perceived as part and parcel of the gray hair experience. It isn’t. If you want to know more about hair loss (and what to do about it), you’ll find this information in the book. In the meantime, check out Thinning Hair in the Care & Treatment section of this site.

Q. I keep plucking my gray hairs out. Will this cause permanent hair loss?

A. You probably won't go bald because you keep plucking gray strands out. Left alone, a single hair has a "life cycle," of 4-5 years. After that, it falls out, and is eventually replaced with a new hair. But sometimes it’s gone for good. Some of the one hundred thousand hair follicles on your head, plus or minus, can simply stop producing new hairs. If it does return, it still won’t have its pigment, and you’ll pluck it out again. At some point, it may be one of those hairs that never return, but you didn’t cause it to go on permanent leave of absence.

Q. My silver hair sometimes has a greenish/yellowish cast. Could the products I’m using on it affect its color?

A. Gray hair can tend to go off-color, as can pigmented or color-treated hair. A green or yellow cast is more noticeable, however, when no other "natural" color is present. But, surprisingly, it isn't as easy to influence the color as some people may think. There are really only four things that may change the color of your gray:

  1. A product intended to color hair
  2. High mineral content in the water environment
  3. Sun exposure
  4. Alkaline chemicals

A product such as a shampoo or conditioner with a tint to it will not deposit color on your hair. It’s not designed to do that. The color is simply to make it look appealing on the shelf. This kind of color does not stick to the hair. “Blue” shampoos, specifically formulated to brighten gray or silver hair will alter the color, but in a good way, offsetting traces of a yellowish cast. It’s not a permanent “fix,” however, and you shouldn’t use them every time you shampoo, as they tend to be drying. You can read more about this in the book, and find out more about the other causes of gray going “off-color” in the Care & Treatment section.


Scared into being gray?

Scared into being gray?

The notion that a sudden shock can turn hair white overnight has persisted for centuries. It’s the stuff of fairy tales and legends, but it won’t go away. People actually believe that they have a full head of pigmented hair one day, and the next—poof!—they’re stark-raving white. The shock theory comes in because a serious emotional trauma can throw your auto-immune system into a tailspin. This can induce alopecia areata, a genetic auto-immune disorder that causes T cells to mistake hair follicles for a foreign substance. For some strange reason, they only attack pigmented hairs, causing them to fall out. This process may take a few weeks or months, but what’s left is the un-pigmented hair that was always there. Probably more than the person realized. “Suddenly,” they wake up and they’re gray. And maybe that’s another shock!


The first frost of aging?

The first frost of aging?

Age may not be the most reliable indicator of when gray hair will appear, but the aging process is the number one suspect. Common wisdom considers the loss of pigmentation as a sign of “aging normally.” But there are so many things that can put your hair on the fast-track to aging. Here’s the hit list.

  • Pernicious Anemia
  • Thyroid imbalance
  • Free Radicals
  • Menopause
  • Stress
  • Vitamin Deficiency
  • Mineral deficiency
  • Insomnia
  • Depression
  • Drugs
  • Smoking

If you want to know more about these causes, every one of them is examined in depth in Going Gray, Looking Great! You’ll find out that it really is about your body, after all. There may be lots of reasons why your hair is turning gray but once it starts, it doesn’t stop. It’s time to figure out what you want to do about it.

And then, of course, there are the myths – the endless myths. See "Scared Into Being Gray" for a myth that’s persisted for centuries.


Is it all genetic?

Is it all genetic?

How early we gray is determined by our genes, or more specifically, the family code for “turning off” the metabolism of melanocytes (melanin-producing cells). But the genetic connection isn’t exactly clear. While early graying may cluster in some families, scientists have not been able to attribute it to a single gene or a common gene. And because there are infinite individual variations, we might as well look to other contributing causes. You’ll find these in "Gray Hair Biology 101" and "The First Frost of Aging?".


Gray hair biology 101

Gray Hair Biology 101

There’s no such thing, really, as “turning” gray. Color doesn’t fade away from the shaft; a gray hair has no color because the supply of pigment in the hair follicle itself is missing.

Hair fiber actually has no color; the cuticle, the outermost protective layer, is transparent. When we see a blonde or a brunette, we perceive color because the pigment shines through. Imagine if you could drain the pigment out, what would you see? No color at all.

This is what your body does for you. One of the natural amino acids in the body, tyrosine, is the “raw material” of melanin. But, somewhere along the way, you start running out of tyrosine. You do not have an infinite supply. So the cells stop producing melanin, and hair shows an absence of color, appearing gray, in contrast to darker shades of hair, or totally white in the absence of any reflective color at all.

Melanin production diminishes at its own rate. Usually in a random pattern at first, starting at your temples and top of your head. The blood vessels try their best to distribute tyrosine to the bottom of each hair follicle, but when supply is short, some follicles just won’t get it at all. You start to “go” gray.


When does it start?

When does it start?

The onset of gray is said to start at the age of 30 for males, 35 for females. Because various other factors enter into it, like genetics, environment and health, age is not the single determinant factor. It’s not uncommon for the process to begin in our twenties (we just don’t notice it), and, of course, there are those who start to go gray in their teens.

Any little white stray that pops up before the age of 20 in Caucasians, and before the age of 30 in African Americans, can be “officially” called premature. If you were shocked by a gray hair or two at thirty, you may have felt they were premature, but, technically, they were right on schedule.


Gray Has a Way of Sneaking Up On You

Gray has a way of sneaking up on you

Most of the women I interviewed for Going Gray, Looking Great! couldn't pin down when they noticed their first gray hair to a specific date, or even year. "I think I was 23 or 27, but I really don't remember." "I know we moved to Boston, because that's where I first started coloring my hair, but I don't know when it started to gray."

Whether the discovery of that first gray hair was accompanied by intense scrutiny, or mild curiosity, it just didn't stick. Especially if there was a significant lag time between the first grays, and a multitude. Women do remember when they first noticed a significant amount of graying in their hair. The moment they admitted, maybe to no one but themselves, that they were actually "going gray."

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Is that how you feel? I did. But once I found out how great gray can be, all those doubts vanished. A little homework always helps. Find out more by clicking on the links on the right.